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Hang With Friends

Location: Earth
Members: 839
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Come on in, pull up a chair!

Picture yourself spending some time with congenial friends, sharing your lives and pictures from your cell phones." They're curious about that cool game, song, movie, camping trip, art show, or other event that fascinated you. You talk about all kinds of stuff, poetry, styles, personal achievements, relationships, and bad days. You can share your inner child, and laugh together. They sympathetically listen to your feelings about serious topics like politics or climate change, even when they don't agree.

Personal validation comes from paying attention to one another, giving more than you get. Everyone respects you and themselves, despite our amazing range of personal tastes and interests. They'll tell you they don't agree with an idea or behavior without implying you're a bad person or somehow deficient. It's an "I'm OK, You're OK" kind of fellowship, where nobody tries to make himself look better by picking on somebody else.

Nobody here is into mind games. A discussion started with a loaded guilt-throwing question will be deleted.

This group is not intended to compete with other groups on topics they cover but to "fill in the cracks." Whenever a discussion dwells at length on a topic for which there's an existing group, we urge you to provide members a link to that group to continue along their tangent.

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Discussion Forum

Optical Illusions

Started by Ruth Anthony-Gardner. Last reply by sk8eycat on Sunday. 60 Replies

This one seems a bit creepy, like the middle one shouldn't be able to change rotation like that. from Cheezburger.comContinue

Ebola Drug From BC

Started by Patricia Sep 12. 0 Replies

Ebola drug fast tracked.....http://www.cbc.ca/1.2731250B.C.'s Tekmira gets FDA approval to fast track Ebola drugContinue

Ebola Researcher from BC

Started by Patricia. Last reply by The Flying Atheist Sep 12. 1 Reply

From our news......Young scientist garnering international attention for Ebola research…Continue

Ozone Recovering?

Started by Patricia Sep 11. 0 Replies

http://shar.es/11RhRK Following a harrowing depletion in recent decades, Earth's protective ozone layer, high in the planet's atmosphere, is on the track to recovery, according to a new report released today…Continue

what boobs are good for

Started by dr kellie. Last reply by Larry Sep 5. 84 Replies

I discovered a brilliant new way to avoid  having xians ring my doorbell in attempt to share the good news with me.  Just now, I was in my kitchen, washing dishes and finding something to eat, when I looked out the large window above my sink.  Two…Continue

Your favorite photobombs?

Started by Ruth Anthony-Gardner. Last reply by Ruth Anthony-Gardner Aug 25. 10 Replies

Running of the bulls photobomb.Continue

Comment Wall

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Comment by Joan Denoo on July 21, 2013 at 2:04pm

Carl, I agree with your assessment and comparison with WWII limits on our consumption. Yes, we all have enjoyed these years of prosperity that grew from 1945 to 1975. The wage gap began to grow in 1975 and then grew exponentially until we are in the mess we are in now.
I think you are correct that people will resist voluntarily cutting back on consumption. The problem is, Earth cannot sustain our present consumption levels in the USA, and other countries are getting into positions to be able to afford increased consumption after all those low paying jobs went to Third World Counties where low pay was better than in the feudal days of their slavery or serfdom.  

There are problems at all levels of our society, economic, educational, health care, financial, political and religious. People don't want to give up privileges; others want to have access to opportunities. These conflicting values work against the kinds of changes we need to make. 

So, what is one to do? I don't have the power to change things that need to change; I do have the power to act and speak in ways that influence some, if not all. 

I get really annoyed when people tell me I am too negative. I think there are too many who are not negative enough. Being negative is only the beginning of problem solving. One has to acknowledge there is a problem before one can even imagine a preferred future. If one lives in denial or delusions, he and she become part of the problem.  

Therefore, 1. we need a time and place to be discerning, to name the problem, to describe events, to do some critical thinking;

2. then we need a time and place to imagine a preferred future, with no limits on the imagining, no criticizing, no setting of limits;

3. after that comes the time to be critical, what options have the highest probability of getting from where we are to where we want to be? what resources do we need? and lack? how are we going to develop a budget? who does what, when, where?

4. Develop an action plan and put the plan to work;

5. Evaluate outcomes asking are we reaching our goals? Do we need to do more or less of the same? or do something differently?  or do nothing? 

Underlying all these problems, in my opinion, is religion. Even those who do not believe one religion or another, many people fall into line of the religious leaders who call for preposterous rules and laws. Those who claim authority over others because of traditions only add fuel to the already smoldering fire. 

For me, Atheist Nexus and other groups that support secular thinking offer the times and places for discussion.  Life without god seems right to me. 

 

Comment by booklover on July 21, 2013 at 1:37pm

Me too Patricia!  Being frugal doesn't have to mean deprivation!  It's fun to be creative.  Being frugal allowed me to stay at home with my kids until they were grown-ups.  I still don't have a job outside the home due to medical issues, but I am going to get a part-time job this fall.  I don't have to work full-time because, since we have always been fairly frugal, our home was paid-for in-full 5 years ago.  We are both now 46.  Believe me, we have not been deprived of anything.  I think a lot of it is being SATISFIED. People don't appreciate what they have.  I do, however, need to work on not wanting as much food!!!!!!

Comment by Patricia on July 21, 2013 at 1:29pm

I watch some of the food shows (Guy Fieri), & the portion sizes in your restaurants absolutely astound me!!!!! All the blab about obesity just doesn't match up with the way your food is loaded onto the plates. We did 2 Alaskan cruises, & were seated with several Americans at our dinner table, & the amount of food they ate made me gag!!!! The greed & the 'I want it now, & all of it' attitudes just shock me. I'm quite frugal as well Melinda, & am always looking for ways to stretch the pension as far as possible, & it's almost become a game to me.

Comment by Joan Denoo on July 21, 2013 at 1:23pm
Ruth, very good point, "I don’t think fear of rejection keeps people in long term relationships."

My fear when leaving religion behind was that I would not have as good a support system. I didn't think in terms of having a healthier one. After leaving, finding friends to share my thoughts developed, slowly at first, and when all is said and done, I am far healthier with healthy friends and family.

My fear when leaving my marriage was that I would be alone, unable to cope with three small children, and I would never travel again. All those faux-fears never materialized. I have never been as lonely as when I was married; my children began to thrive without the brutal hand of ebedience training; and I was able to do research in 32 nations after my divorce.

By facing my fears, thinking for myself, paying attention to outcomes, I was able to not only survive but thrive.

Thanks for the opportunity to rethink my previous comment.
Comment by booklover on July 21, 2013 at 1:18pm

I agree Carl.  People, especially in the US, are so used to their conspicuous consumption, that I think they would rebel.  They can't even imagine not having everything they want, when they want it, even if it means (and it usually does) putting it on credit cards.  They can't fathom that it is literally impossible for the whole world to live this way. It makes me sick. Selfish is right! And yes, we are in a very sad state!  I am pretty frugal, and I'm working on living a minimalist lifestyle.  Believe me, I'm not there yet, but just watching others consume out-of-control makes me ill.

Comment by Patricia on July 21, 2013 at 1:18pm

'Pissed off' barely covers how I feel about the god thing absolutely everywhere! On mainstream tv, as well as the news for instance, ie: Wolf Blitzer & 'thanking the lord' in Oklahoma & meeting an atheist. I always feel the god/lord/religion thing does not belong in news reporting, & that well educated reporters ought to know better. As for looking at my beautiful scenery, big sky, & animal/bird life around me, the god thing never enters my mind!

Comment by The Flying Atheist on July 21, 2013 at 12:49pm

I'm am quite aware of the many sacrifices that were made by civilians during the period of WWII.  Government enforced rationing of meat, gas, rubber (auto tires), sugar, butter, coffee, metal, etc, etc.  The long list goes on and on.  I often times wonder if our society today could even begin to accept such inconveniences without total anarchy breaking out.  The modern, western-style of over-consumption has not only become our normal standard of living but also an expected human right, any negative consequences be damned.  

Since the time of WWII we have participated in several more wars but we have not rationed since the 1940's.  We had long lines for gasoline for a short period in the 1970's, but alas, that was only temporary.  Once the oil was flowing again, our over-consumption kicked right back in.  I'm deeply troubled by this behavior and I'm at a loss for a solution.  As I stated above, I honestly don't think our selfish society today would allow government enforced cutbacks on our consumption without all Hell breaking loose.  And it doesn't help that many people don't even wish to do so voluntarily.  We're in a very sad state. 

Comment by Ruth Anthony-Gardner on July 21, 2013 at 12:47pm

Yes, welcome indeed, John Kennedy Opiyo.


Randall, I bristle too when an otherwise resonant passage suddenly slips in theism. My tolerance for theism is very very low. I even react negatively when I see atheists here wasting otherwise productive minds discussing nuances of theistic doctrine.


Yes, Joan, a wider, longer perception of events is what I need, along with enjoyment of fluttering fledglings on shrubs. I appreciate Albert Ellis, but I don’t think fear of rejection keeps people in long term relationships. We have an instinctive need for other people.


Ian, I enjoy neon lights, and find it easy to ignore the commercial messages for the color and luminosity.

Comment by booklover on July 21, 2013 at 12:33pm

Clever and so funny!

Comment by booklover on July 21, 2013 at 12:33pm

Glad you liked the annoyed cat Ruth!  Don't worry, no one judges you here.  We just care about you because you are our good friend.

Our first cat we had to have put to sleep years ago was named Jo.  I didn't know that in the middle of the night his blood-pressure had gotten so high that it detached his retinas, and he was blind.  How scared he must have been all night!  I found him downstairs hiding under a table.  It still makes me sick that I didn't know, and he spent his last night alone and scared.  After they put him to sleep at the vet, I was crying so hard I could barely write the check. :(

I'm so glad we have each other here to talk to.  I love cat-lovers! :)

 

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