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Hang With Friends

Location: Earth
Members: 852
Latest Activity: 32 minutes ago

Come on in, pull up a chair!

Picture yourself spending some time with congenial friends, sharing your lives and pictures from your cell phones." They're curious about that cool game, song, movie, camping trip, art show, or other event that fascinated you. You talk about all kinds of stuff, poetry, styles, personal achievements, relationships, and bad days. You can share your inner child, and laugh together. They sympathetically listen to your feelings about serious topics like politics or climate change, even when they don't agree.

Personal validation comes from paying attention to one another, giving more than you get. Everyone respects you and themselves, despite our amazing range of personal tastes and interests. They'll tell you they don't agree with an idea or behavior without implying you're a bad person or somehow deficient. It's an "I'm OK, You're OK" kind of fellowship, where nobody tries to make himself look better by picking on somebody else.

Nobody here is into mind games. A discussion started with a loaded guilt-throwing question will be deleted.

This group is not intended to compete with other groups on topics they cover but to "fill in the cracks." Whenever a discussion dwells at length on a topic for which there's an existing group, we urge you to provide members a link to that group to continue along their tangent.

A comment is a shout-out, which will get lost in a few days, because the comment wall is just a random stack.

Please start a discussion to share stories, photos, and videos. Replies will pop up in your "latest activity" and a conversation can develop from the feelings and thoughts you contributed. Groups are built on discussions.

Discussion Forum

Seeing Things (TheraminTrees)

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Ruth Anthony-Gardner Feb 25. 2 Replies

TheraminTrees doesn't release videos very often these days,  but when he does, they are positive GEMS.  Most recent of his works is the following, wherein he dismantles some of the common rebuttals atheist get from believers when we assert our…Continue

Tags: seeing things, YouTube, TheraminTrees

Let's not define ourselves or others by our worst behaviors

Started by Ruth Anthony-Gardner. Last reply by Ruth Anthony-Gardner Feb 15. 4 Replies

My take on the recent melt down at Hang With Friends, of which I missed part, is that some of us were tripped up by a habit of thought. It's something we learn growing up, and use without realizing how much pain it can generate -  failing to…Continue

Tags: dispute at Hang With Friends

You'll NEVER Guess Who Just Showed Up on Mr. Deity!!!

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Loren Miller Feb 14. 11 Replies

I don't believe this one either, but ... well, here it is: And would you believe - Mr. D made me laugh!  RD, that is!Continue

Tags: Richard Dawkins, Mr. Deity

Seth Andrews' Rebuttal to "10 Women Christian Men Shouldn't Marry" (The Thinking Atheist)

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Loren Miller Feb 6. 20 Replies

It seems as though some numb-nuts New York pastor by the name of Stephen Kim has written two marriage advice pieces for christian men and women.  Not surprisingly, his suggestions come straight out of his never-fail magic book.  Seth Andrews of The…Continue

Tags: advice, marriage, The Thinking Atheist, Seth Andrews, Stephen Kim

Seth Andrews' New Book, "Sacred Cows" (The Thinking Atheist)

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Patricia Feb 6. 7 Replies

For the last few podcasts, Seth Andrews has been alluding to a new literary effort he's been working on.  Well, the cat is out of the bag ... or perhaps I should say, the cow is out of the barn!  Seth's new opus is entitled: Sacred Cows: a…Continue

Tags: book, Sacred Cows, The Thinking Atheist, Seth Andrews

Living in the Answers

Started by Joan Denoo. Last reply by Patricia Jan 18. 13 Replies

I am weary of those who declare they understand all the answers to the creation of the universe and Earth. They claim they know the answers to the questions of life, meaning, death, and the afterlife. Those with all the answer speak with confidence,…Continue

Tags: confidence, education, government, family, afterlife

Comment Wall

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Comment by sk8eycat on March 20, 2014 at 1:42am

You mean, SHE moves out and I stay here?  NO WAY!  I couldn't do that; we moved here when she was an infant, and has never lived anywhere else.  I've had apartments (moved back in when I was out of work, broke, and our parents health was failing...and they needed a driver), PLUS I spent almost 5 years touring the US.  I've been around, Grace hasn't...she's never even had any kind of work outside the home...she's an Aspie.  No diagnosis but her behavior since infancy is typical of mild autism, or Asperger's syndrome.

Actually she has brought up the idea of moving into an assisted living-type building, although neither of us quite needs that much help. Yet.  And I don't know if such places accept pets.  We each have a cat...Freddie has become her personal buddy, and Pumpkin is mine, although he spends time with her, too.

The unused bedroom that I'd like to fill up is the master bedroom; I'd even accept a gay couple, if they're not too noisy about certain activities. 

Tee-hee!

Comment by sk8eycat on March 20, 2014 at 12:48am

Okay...the Sr.s apartment buildings I've checked out so far all have the same hairy-scary feature...3-level underground parking garages  So when a major quake happens what few "ground floor" apartments exist (most of the laundry and community rooms take up 75% of the ground floor space) are likely to fall into the parking garage, with 3 or 4  (or more) floors full of people on top of them.

NOT good.

The absodamnlutely safest type of building is a medium size one-story wood frame house...like mine.  We have an extra bedroom that I wish we could rent out, but it's against the local zoning laws to do that....the only other alternative is to find a rommie who will share the upkeep and utility expenses. 

How do a couple of elderly sisters find a compatible roommate? Advertize?  (I wouldn't trust something like CraigsList any farther than I could throw a roomful of Craigs.)  A younger gay man with a wicked sense of humor (atheist, of course...one JW in this house is all I can stand) would be ideal, and fun, and we could add him to our Living Trust so he could inherit the house when we're gone.  IF he'd want it.

Comment by Joan Denoo on March 19, 2014 at 10:29pm

Mindy, I can understand your desire to keep the house in the family. My family has been like that. We keep places for generations. It is sweet to go back walk through the rooms of one's childhood. To live in a home in which one grew up would have a certain sense of continuity to it. It is one option. 

Comment by Joan Denoo on March 19, 2014 at 10:27pm

Felaine, several of my friends very happily left their homes to move into seniors-only apartment buildings. They are difficult to get into, and one has to plan a couple years ahead. None of them regretted their decision to sell and move. Also, living in earthquake territory, as you so, I would surely not want to live any higher than ground floor. 

My cousin and his wife were in Northridge and in the dark of night their stairwell fell and when they scrambled, they fell through the hole in the floor. He is a big, husky, farm-raised man and he described his terror as he was falling after being shaken out of bed. 

Comment by sk8eycat on March 19, 2014 at 9:06pm

I'm looking for a seniors-only apartment building where they base the rent on your (measly) income.  Most of them around here are full, with waiting lists. 

PLUS, if/when I have to leave this house, I don't EVER want to be close enough to drive by and see what the new owners do to the property.  Like build a Big Box house, and rip out all the trees.  That does seem to have slowed down around here because the McMansions that were built on spec in the past 5 years aren't selling.  Or they do sell, but not for "enough."

Comment by Joan Denoo on March 19, 2014 at 1:19pm

Carl, may I caution you about owning your own place. First of all, I very desperately wanted my own home, and it was a wise decisions because I bought on a down cycle and paid only $12,000 for it. There are no such buys any more. The housing market took off into a Boom and then a Bust that created disasters for many thoughtful families. 

We are at the end of this Bust period and a new bubble is already forming in the housing market. Be really careful that you do not get caught in an overpriced piece of property. You lose all liquidity when you own property. It is difficult to sell, and you can't eat it when another crash occurs. 

Remember that capitalism is based on Boom and Bust reasoning. That  is why the old bromide, "buy low, sell high" applies to anything one does. 

The old man of the late 1800s early 1900s predicted capitalism will have a Boom and Bust cycle every 60 years. Well, he was off on his timing, but correct on his predictions. It is easy to track Booms and Busts, just Google it, and you will find all kinds of information to help you see what part of the cycle we are in. 

Nikolai Kondratiev was shot by firing squad on the orders of Stalin in 1938 because he predicted the fall of communism. He also predicted the fall of socialism and capitalism.

Kondratieff predicted that under capitalism one generation will survive, with great suffering, through the Bust cycle, and the next generation will be told the stories, the next generation after that may hear the stories and say it will never happen again. It is that generation that lives in the Boom part of the cycle and makes political and economic decisions that lead to another Bust. 

Financial crisis of 2007–08

Kondratieff Waves and the Greater Depression of 2013 - 2020

Kondratieff has been replaced by a whipper snapper, R.N. Elliott and popularized by Robert Prechter. This theory asserts that crowd behavior ebbs and flows in clear trends. Based on this ebb and flow, Elliott identified a certain structure to price movements in the financial markets. The article serves as a basic introduction to Elliott Wave Theory.

Elliott Wave Basics

From what I have been reading a new bubble is already forming in the real estate market. Who knows how high it will rise or how low it will fall. I just caution you to think twice about owning your own place. 

For me, it means replacing my furnace at $5,000. My roof also needs replacing. I have lived here for 40 years on July 1, and many of the things I did to improved it all those years ago need to be replaced. 

Whatever you do, it is a crap shoot. I just want you to be aware of the risks and weigh them against the benefits and your ability to live up to the commitment you sign when you purchase your own place.

My best wishes go with you.  

Comment by Joan Denoo on March 19, 2014 at 12:19pm

Carl, I am so happy to learn of your concern for your expected little boy into the family. In my experience, and you didn't ask, but you know me, I will have my say, whether wanted or not. 

Circumcision has become a cultural thing, far beyond religion. It is like so many things we do that have become part of what I call ABCTDs of life: Attitudes, Beliefs, Customs, Traditions, and Values. They become institutionalized in society completely forgetting it was a device to separate "us" from "them". It is not necessary and not recommended by enlightened doctors and professionals. 

Good for you for being concerned, and for having a library of films you can use as part of your reasoning. 

As usual, my approach is honesty, with concrete reasoning to support your decision. Some do not like my directness, but to be perfectly frank, I see no benefit in pussyfooting around important topics. 

I know you to be a gentle person, and will not overwhelm her with your power, but will use carefully thought out reasons for your point of view. You will do an outstanding job of walking with her through this very important time in her life.

 

Comment by Ruth Anthony-Gardner on March 19, 2014 at 9:50am

Ian is right

A little bit of pressure on a nerve can cause pain a long way away.

Pinched nerves in my spine make pain go all the way down my arm into my hand. Sometimes the lower extremity pain is the first  in a flare up. I get some control over the problem with daily neck stretching for 12 minutes.

My husband and I are debt free, too. We have a modest lifestyle so our social security and my pension meets our needs.

Comment by Plinius on March 19, 2014 at 2:45am

I'd love to say that, that I have very little debt, but it's not horrible either: half our apartment belongs to the bank.

How to open the discussion with your niece - quite a problem! "Live and let live", has the baby no rights? Perhaps you can start with info about the risks?

Comment by The Flying Atheist on March 19, 2014 at 2:16am

I have very little debt at the moment, and that should be cleared up pretty soon.  However, I'd like to purchase a condo sometime later this year.  If I end up going through with that plan, I'll be taking on a huge financial responsibility for years to come.  I just really want a place to call my own, and now seems to be a good time to make real estate purchases.  And my job appears to be much more stable for the first time in quite a few years, so I feel confident in making this commitment.  I shall see.    

On an unrelated note, it was recently announced in my family that my niece here in Chicago, who is in her mid-twenties, is pregnant and will be having a son.  I now have to figure out an acceptable, but non-creepy, non-pushy, and tactful way to broach the subject with her about not having the baby circumcised.  I don't like to push my unsolicited views on her about such a personal topic, but I have a very strong opinion regarding keeping babies intact.  I'm pretty much a "live and let live" type of person, but I'd like to make sure she is educated on the subject.  She doesn't appear to be overly religious and I don't believe she as attended church regularly for any significant portion of her life.  We've never had any conversations about religion, so I'm not 100% sure about her spiritual views.  I've saved some YouTube videos over the years that are related to the topic of circumcision, so I have those ready to go as part of my arsenal.  Beyond that, I'm at a loss for a strategy to get the conversation started.      

 

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