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Hang With Friends

Location: Earth
Members: 852
Latest Activity: 2 hours ago

Come on in, pull up a chair!

Picture yourself spending some time with congenial friends, sharing your lives and pictures from your cell phones." They're curious about that cool game, song, movie, camping trip, art show, or other event that fascinated you. You talk about all kinds of stuff, poetry, styles, personal achievements, relationships, and bad days. You can share your inner child, and laugh together. They sympathetically listen to your feelings about serious topics like politics or climate change, even when they don't agree.

Personal validation comes from paying attention to one another, giving more than you get. Everyone respects you and themselves, despite our amazing range of personal tastes and interests. They'll tell you they don't agree with an idea or behavior without implying you're a bad person or somehow deficient. It's an "I'm OK, You're OK" kind of fellowship, where nobody tries to make himself look better by picking on somebody else.

Nobody here is into mind games. A discussion started with a loaded guilt-throwing question will be deleted.

This group is not intended to compete with other groups on topics they cover but to "fill in the cracks." Whenever a discussion dwells at length on a topic for which there's an existing group, we urge you to provide members a link to that group to continue along their tangent.

A comment is a shout-out, which will get lost in a few days, because the comment wall is just a random stack.

Please start a discussion to share stories, photos, and videos. Replies will pop up in your "latest activity" and a conversation can develop from the feelings and thoughts you contributed. Groups are built on discussions.

Discussion Forum

Seeing Things (TheraminTrees)

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Ruth Anthony-Gardner on Thursday. 2 Replies

TheraminTrees doesn't release videos very often these days,  but when he does, they are positive GEMS.  Most recent of his works is the following, wherein he dismantles some of the common rebuttals atheist get from believers when we assert our…Continue

Tags: seeing things, YouTube, TheraminTrees

Let's not define ourselves or others by our worst behaviors

Started by Ruth Anthony-Gardner. Last reply by Ruth Anthony-Gardner Feb 15. 4 Replies

My take on the recent melt down at Hang With Friends, of which I missed part, is that some of us were tripped up by a habit of thought. It's something we learn growing up, and use without realizing how much pain it can generate -  failing to…Continue

Tags: dispute at Hang With Friends

You'll NEVER Guess Who Just Showed Up on Mr. Deity!!!

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Loren Miller Feb 14. 11 Replies

I don't believe this one either, but ... well, here it is: And would you believe - Mr. D made me laugh!  RD, that is!Continue

Tags: Richard Dawkins, Mr. Deity

Seth Andrews' Rebuttal to "10 Women Christian Men Shouldn't Marry" (The Thinking Atheist)

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Loren Miller Feb 6. 20 Replies

It seems as though some numb-nuts New York pastor by the name of Stephen Kim has written two marriage advice pieces for christian men and women.  Not surprisingly, his suggestions come straight out of his never-fail magic book.  Seth Andrews of The…Continue

Tags: advice, marriage, The Thinking Atheist, Seth Andrews, Stephen Kim

Seth Andrews' New Book, "Sacred Cows" (The Thinking Atheist)

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Patricia Feb 6. 7 Replies

For the last few podcasts, Seth Andrews has been alluding to a new literary effort he's been working on.  Well, the cat is out of the bag ... or perhaps I should say, the cow is out of the barn!  Seth's new opus is entitled: Sacred Cows: a…Continue

Tags: book, Sacred Cows, The Thinking Atheist, Seth Andrews

Living in the Answers

Started by Joan Denoo. Last reply by Patricia Jan 18. 13 Replies

I am weary of those who declare they understand all the answers to the creation of the universe and Earth. They claim they know the answers to the questions of life, meaning, death, and the afterlife. Those with all the answer speak with confidence,…Continue

Tags: confidence, education, government, family, afterlife

Comment Wall

Comment

You need to be a member of Hang With Friends to add comments!

Comment by Steph S. on April 25, 2014 at 10:23pm

Hugs to you too Mindy - you are my good friend too.

Everyone have a good weekend.

Comment by sk8eycat on April 25, 2014 at 5:50pm

Patricia, is this a NIGHT trip?  Or will you be able to enjoy the scenery?  Either way, relax, and have a grand time!

Comment by Steph S. on April 25, 2014 at 4:24pm

Patricia have a safe trip. Be safe.

Comment by Steph S. on April 25, 2014 at 4:23pm

Mindy she sounds like a shallow "friend" - I don't think you should take her back as friend. I think the time has passed and you are older and more mature now. Look forward to better friends in the future who like you for who you are.

Comment by Joan Denoo on April 25, 2014 at 3:05pm

Mindy, You are just very fine! What you feel is what you feel and you can honor that without guilt. If you want her for a friend, by all means make that choice. If you don't want to, or not now, make that choice. You don't have to explain anything. Just make your statement and go on with life. 
About the anxiety attack, a good counselor can help you with that. Basically, sit quietly, paying attention to your breath. When a thought comes to mind, thank it for visiting and dismiss it away. It takes a lot of practice to get to the point where you can just sit, relaxed, breathing easily, and letting go of thoughts. That static in your mind can wear you out. 

Mindfulness Strategies

I like Chris' response: a hug, even virtual, is coming your way from me and I am sure all of us on this string. 

Ruth gives very good advice, and based on healthy communication skills. She is right on target about being honest with yourself and then letting her know. 

Patricia always has strong responses and, by golly, she is right. I really like what she said. You are who you are. Period.

Felaine has good sense as well ... goodness, we are lucky to have such trustworthy and wise friends. She advises using the Block button on Facebook and that is a great idea.

So, you have a lot of options and even more if you need to find a better way. However, there are some good options here to kick around. You are not a victim. You have everything you need to come out of this a winner. Sit back, enjoy that you have breath, celebrate your life, and experience the gratitude of strong family and friends. 

I just read your response and it seems you have been able to quiet your thoughts and get your anxiety down. Remember, anxiety is a symptom of feeling helpless. To feel optimistic is the goal. The method to achieve your goal lies within the symptoms. Look for mad, glad, sad, afraid, guilt, shame and you will usually find the cause of your anxiety. 
 

Comment by Idaho Spud on April 25, 2014 at 3:03pm

See ya Patricia.  Have fun.

Comment by sk8eycat on April 25, 2014 at 1:58pm

Mindy, friendship, like love, should be unconditional. 

If somebody places conditions on how they should behave toward you, they are NOT True Friends.  DUMP THEM!  I have done that several times in the past 50+ years, and it may have hurt at first (but it usually hurt because they had done something to hurt me and/or mine), but it made life much easier in the long run.

You are a GOOD person, but you worry too much!  If you need FlakeBook to keep in touch with your extended family, limit it to just them, and block everyone else...if that can be done.

That site makes me very nervous; IMO it's useless except for small commercial and non-profit (animal rescue) enterprises.  I'm usually a very private person; I don't want Jack Schidt and his 10,000,000 friends to know what I'm thinking and doing...or not doing. I stick to e-mail to stay in touch. 

And this place.

Comment by Ruth Anthony-Gardner on April 25, 2014 at 10:59am

booklover, it sounds to me as if you miss being young and thin. I agree that a friend shallow enough to insist that you lose weight to be her bridesmaid might not be attractive. There's a possibility that she's matured. Were I in your situation, I'd tell her the real reason you don't seek her company, and how much her insisting that you lose weight to be her bridesmaid had hurt. Explain how you need friends that validate what's important to you now. Ask if she still has that attitude which so offended you.

Even if you reject her proposal to be a friend, it's healthier to be honest about why. You don't need to make excuses. We're proud of you just as you are.

Comment by Plinius on April 25, 2014 at 10:51am

You don't need advice Mindy, just a hug. You're doing all right! (((HUG)))

Comment by sk8eycat on April 24, 2014 at 8:28pm

Oh, Joan....thank you!  I'm still chuckling, but when I first figured out "Southern Tenant Farmers Union" I bellowed with laughter, and frightened poor Pumpkin off my lap. He's back, but not lying down...he stands on my bony thighs, and sticks his tail (a flagpole) up my nose.

And you said you had no sense of humor...Hah!

That's a keeper!

 

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