Information

Hang With Friends

Location: Earth
Members: 853
Latest Activity: 18 hours ago

Come on in, pull up a chair!

Picture yourself spending some time with congenial friends, sharing your lives and pictures from your cell phones." They're curious about that cool game, song, movie, camping trip, art show, or other event that fascinated you. You talk about all kinds of stuff, poetry, styles, personal achievements, relationships, and bad days. You can share your inner child, and laugh together. They sympathetically listen to your feelings about serious topics like politics or climate change, even when they don't agree.

Personal validation comes from paying attention to one another, giving more than you get. Everyone respects you and themselves, despite our amazing range of personal tastes and interests. They'll tell you they don't agree with an idea or behavior without implying you're a bad person or somehow deficient. It's an "I'm OK, You're OK" kind of fellowship, where nobody tries to make himself look better by picking on somebody else.

Nobody here is into mind games. A discussion started with a loaded guilt-throwing question will be deleted.

This group is not intended to compete with other groups on topics they cover but to "fill in the cracks." Whenever a discussion dwells at length on a topic for which there's an existing group, we urge you to provide members a link to that group to continue along their tangent.

A comment is a shout-out, which will get lost in a few days, because the comment wall is just a random stack.

Please start a discussion to share stories, photos, and videos. Replies will pop up in your "latest activity" and a conversation can develop from the feelings and thoughts you contributed. Groups are built on discussions.

Discussion Forum

Seth Andrews' Rebuttal to "10 Women Christian Men Shouldn't Marry" (The Thinking Atheist)

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Grinning Cat Jan 22. 13 Replies

It seems as though some numb-nuts New York pastor by the name of Stephen Kim has written two marriage advice pieces for christian men and women.  Not surprisingly, his suggestions come straight out of his never-fail magic book.  Seth Andrews of The…Continue

Tags: advice, marriage, The Thinking Atheist, Seth Andrews, Stephen Kim

Living in the Answers

Started by Joan Denoo. Last reply by Patricia Jan 18. 13 Replies

I am weary of those who declare they understand all the answers to the creation of the universe and Earth. They claim they know the answers to the questions of life, meaning, death, and the afterlife. Those with all the answer speak with confidence,…Continue

Tags: confidence, education, government, family, afterlife

Twin terrorists caught

Started by Patricia. Last reply by Patricia Jan 11. 7 Replies

Canada: twin terrorists caught before going to Mideast Saturday, January 10, 2015 By Martin Barillas L-R: Carlos and Ashton Larmond The Royal Canadian Mounted Police arrested and charged a pair of 24-year-old identical twin brothers on…Continue

Betty Bowers Best of 2014

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Loren Miller Jan 4. 33 Replies

Happy New Year, everyone!  Now that we're off on another 365-day stint of sniping at believers, leave it to America's Best Christian, Betty Bowers, to sum up the year past from her holier-than-EVERYBODY point of view! Have You had YOUR Betty today?!?Continue

Tags: 2014, America's Best Christian, Betty Bowers

Christmas: Behind the Curtain (The Thinking Atheist)

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by booklover Dec 28, 2014. 23 Replies

Well, it's that time of year again.  Time to gird our loins, put on our battle armor and join the (dah-dah DAAAAAH!) WAR AGAINST CHRISTMAS!!! [groan!] Yeah, most of us have heard that crap before, probably too many times, in fact, how atheists are…Continue

Tags: Christmas, The Thinking Atheist, Seth Andrews

Seth Andrews - The Copycats: How Christianity Steals The Best Ideas

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Loren Miller Dec 24, 2014. 11 Replies

Many of us have observed or learned how christianity shamelessly borrows from other sources to bolster its position and show off its supposed wonderfulness.  Well, Seth Andrews of The Thinking Atheist podcast has compiled some of the more modern-day…Continue

Tags: steal, borrow, copycat, The Thinking Atheist, Seth Andrews

Comment Wall

Comment

You need to be a member of Hang With Friends to add comments!

Comment by Joan Denoo on June 21, 2014 at 4:44pm

I assume you have researched to see if there are any treatments of Rx for this condition. I have never encountered it and haven't a clue as to how to live a healthier, happier life given the reality of having an Aspie to care for.

I certainly do hear your frustrations. Skills that help you build emotional barriers is the first step, at least as far as I can imagine and finding peace and equanimity while facing such a challenge requires conscious effort.

We live in a very interesting time in the history of human existence on Earth. We live on the cutting edge of change from the old values of rules created by power over. As children we learned how to either use power or submit to power as we developed. 

The new epic, the Anthropocene requires new skills, and especially when faced with challenges such you both face. The ancient tribal system has ended, when families took care of their own and the tribe assisted. During the last epic, we experimented with ways government took over tribal duties. During the Roosevelt years, a new care for people like the aspies grew and helped families cope. That all began to unravel and both Democrats and Republicans made it unravel faster in USA than Europe. 

So, somehow we have to recognize that we need new and different ways of being in community. It is terribly difficult for a brother or a sister to manage without community help. We can find better ways and we can be part of that new epic. 

Comment by Plinius on June 21, 2014 at 3:53pm

You should be proud of yourself, Sk8eycat, for living with an Aspie and for enduring what you can't escape from.

Your description is clearly of Asperger's, as far as I can see.

Comment by sk8eycat on June 21, 2014 at 2:57pm

Ever since I read the symptoms of Asperger's, I have been convinced that my (now) 69-year-old sister was born with it.  She's never been diagnosed because when we were children, nobody had ever heard of it, and she has been a JeeHoover's Witless since she was in her early 20s, and they don't "believe" in any kind of mind therapy. It's too late for her, anyway.

I have NEVER heard her say "please" or "thank you" to anybody for anything.  She hasn't had any tantrums lately, but she still occasionally whines about a 1st Grade teacher who she claims singled her out for ridicule.  It hasn't sunk into her mind that I had the same teacher when I was in 1st Grade, and she was that way to everybody.

My sister isn't stupid; she has a memory like a steel trap, but she focuses on trivia most of the time.

As for "sentimental children's shows,"  YESSSSS! 

I had always promised myself that I would find a way to "leave the building" as soon as Mother no longer needed me, but it's been 20 years, and I'm still breathing.  Today I'm not very happy about that.  Nor am I proud of myself.

Comment by Plinius on June 21, 2014 at 12:45pm

 Neglect or overprotection by a parent creates scar tissue that lasts a lifetime.

You saw that right, Joan, it lasts a lifetime, but there are ways to go on and flourish. Thanks for your love and support, but don't make me bigger than I am - I might blush!

And as you say: on to the tasks at hand!

Comment by Joan Denoo on June 21, 2014 at 11:44am

Chris, these complexities hurt at such a deep level. Neglect or overprotection by a parent creates scar tissue that lasts a lifetime. Your care and concern and respect for your husband is well placed and you share his burden with good sense. Yes, the questions touch into a deep place and your answer is not long. It appears you read the situation well and make a difference in your husband's life.

Growing up in a mentally healthy environment can be a rare thing, and replacing the dysfunction with well thought out remedies and caring action helps to bring about a better future.

Thank you for your honesty, and for your great heart. We all benefit by having people around us such as yourself. Know that you are not alone, and that we support you in any way we can.

OK! Now on to the tasks at hand.

 

Comment by Plinius on June 21, 2014 at 11:10am

Deep question, Joan! My husband is the elder brother, and like the eldest, he feels responsible. Mother-in-law loved children but couldn't handle them at all: she neglected the first one, overprotected the second one (the Asperger), and lost the third one when he went to play on the railroad tracks with friends - 4 years old. I think the family survived rather than lived after that.    I have a deep respect for my husband that he never abandoned his family even when they hurt him, and I encouraged him to grow and get strong and confident. I fully understand that he saw no other possibility to handle the family situation. The last one of his family is b-i-l, and it's impossible to change that one.

A deep question, and perhaps a longer answer than you wanted.

Comment by Joan Denoo on June 21, 2014 at 10:36am

How does your husband handle the disrespect from his brother? Ouch! that must hurt! Is your husband younger than his brother and was he disrespected as they grew into adulthood?

Comment by Plinius on June 21, 2014 at 10:29am

Yes - you can choose your partner and the in-laws are extra. B-i-l can't help that he doesn't understand love, empathy, sympathy and respect, but I keep wondering why he always watches old sentimental children's series...

Comment by Joan Denoo on June 21, 2014 at 10:02am

Is b-i-l your husband's brother? 

Comment by booklover on June 21, 2014 at 7:50am

 

Members (853)

 
 
 

Support Atheist Nexus

Donate Today

Donate

 

Help Nexus When You Buy From Amazon

Amazon

Nexus on Social Media:

© 2015   Atheist Nexus. All rights reserved. Admin: Richard Haynes.

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service