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Comment by Ian Mason on January 11, 2013 at 3:47am

George W. Bush had a heart attack and died. He went to hell where the Devil was waiting for him.
‘I don’t know what to do here,’ said the devil. ‘You are on my list but I have no room for you.

You definitely have to stay here, so I’ll tell you what I’m going to do. I’ve got three folks here who weren’t quite as bad as you. I’ll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I’ll even let you decide who leaves.’

The devil open the first room: in it was Richard Nixon and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty-handed over and over and over. Such was his fate in hell.

‘No!’ Bush said. ‘ I don’t think so. I’m not a good swimmer and I don’t think I could do that all day.’

The devil led him to the next room: In it was Tony Blair with a sledge hammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time.

No, I’ve got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day!’ commented Bush.

The devil opened the third door. In it, Bush saw Bill Clinton lying on the floor with his arms staked over his head and his legs staked in spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinski, doing what she did best.

Bush looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said, Yeah, I can handle this.’

The devil smiled and said, ‘Okay, Monica, you’re free to go!

Comment by Lillie on January 10, 2013 at 8:21pm

Witch Hazel is one of my favorite small shrubs because it blooms in the winter when most other things are dormant. 

Comment by sk8eycat on January 10, 2013 at 7:49pm

This is fun: from the FFRF Blog:

http://ffrf.org/news/blog/item/16517-miracles-completely-and-totall...

Miracles: Completely and totally underwhelming

January 10, 2013

By Andrew Seidel
FFRF Staff Attorney

<SNIP>

Comment by booklover on January 10, 2013 at 2:36pm

Thanks Steph, but I am SO over that if I ever even did care just a little.  Some people have way worse problems in life!

My Mom took the 'kids' and I shopping and out for breakfast today.  She INSISTED on paying for EVERYTHING.  Even my flu-shot!!! LOL.  Oh well, it's her pleasure in life she says, and I do the same thing to my kids. :)

Comment by Steph S. on January 10, 2013 at 10:44am

Yes, Lillie - the kitty could be in a yoga position.

Melinda congrats on 25 years of marriage. It sounds like you have a wonderful family. Something to be proud of.

Ian I am glad to hear you are sober now and trying to repair things.

I wish you well on your exercise.

Chris, sometimes it is better to break ties. You just can't talk to people like that unfortunately.

Melinda I think we all have family issues here - especially those of us who come from fundamentalist families and we are Atheist now. So I can understand what you are going through. Yes, it is sad. You are in my thoughts.

Comment by Steph S. on January 10, 2013 at 10:37am

Comment by booklover on January 10, 2013 at 8:09am

Thanks Joan!  I never knew what Witchhazel looked like, or that it smelled good. Beautiful!

Ian, I am so sorry.  I hope someday the connection can be repaired.  You are doing what you can, and you know yourself.  That is a good thing.  Hugs to you and know that we are your friends!!!!

Chris, I didn't go to my Grandma's funeral because my 'father' showed up to get his inheritance in my opinion.  I have cousins that won't talk to me now.  I said I was with her when she DIED, and she KNEW that.  She doesn't know I was having horrible panic attacks and didn't go to the funeral, she was GONE.  Of course, I'M the horrible one to them.  Aaaarrrgghhh.  My sister and I only talk to one single cousin (our ONLY 1st-cousin) on that whole side of the family. Sad.

Comment by John Lynch on January 10, 2013 at 7:04am

Chris I to use exercise to help with depression. After some time my children and I are on good terms. I also do not think I was ever a good candidate for marriage. It would have been nice to have that knowledge before the act. Peace to all.

Comment by Chris Breman on January 10, 2013 at 5:06am

It's bad when things cannot be mended. I was the unwanted daughter of a sexist, hypocrit xtian, who ruined his wife & children's lives. You cannot reason with someone who thinks he's is always right, so I broke the contact and didn't go to his funeral.

Comment by Ian Mason on January 10, 2013 at 4:12am

Congratulations to the happily married. It's a real achievement.

As far as the drunk/bad-tempered/intoverted fathers go - that was me for far too many years. I haven't been able to regain my daughter's affection and probably never will. There was too much shit for too long. Have also recognised that marriage etc. is not the best thing for me. I'm too unstable and that only causes distress for both parties.

My addiction now is exercise. It burns off the excess cortisol (the "bad" stress hormone) and stabilises my moods to some extent. Chocolate is good too but I need to ration myself, otherwise I go wild.

Have a great day, all of you, wherever you are and whatever you're doing. Thanks for listening. Hugs from me.

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