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Hang With Friends

Location: Earth
Members: 823
Latest Activity: 1 hour ago

Come on in, pull up a chair!

Picture yourself spending some time with congenial friends, sharing your lives and pictures from your cell phones." They're curious about that cool game, song, movie, camping trip, art show, or other event that fascinated you. You talk about all kinds of stuff, poetry, styles, personal achievements, relationships, and bad days. You can share your inner child, and laugh together. They sympathetically listen to your feelings about serious topics like politics or climate change, even when they don't agree.

Personal validation comes from paying attention to one another, giving more than you get. Everyone respects you and themselves, despite our amazing range of personal tastes and interests. They'll tell you they don't agree with an idea or behavior without implying you're a bad person or somehow deficient. It's an "I'm OK, You're OK" kind of fellowship, where nobody tries to make himself look better by picking on somebody else.

Nobody here is into mind games. A discussion started with a loaded guilt-throwing question will be deleted.

This group is not intended to compete with other groups on topics they cover but to "fill in the cracks." Whenever a discussion dwells at length on a topic for which there's an existing group, we urge you to provide members a link to that group to continue along their tangent.

A comment is a shout-out, which will get lost in a few days, because the comment wall is just a random stack.

Please start a discussion to share stories, photos, and videos. Replies will pop up in your "latest activity" and a conversation can develop from the feelings and thoughts you contributed. Groups are built on discussions.

Discussion Forum

Surreal, I haz it

Started by Ruth Anthony-Gardner. Last reply by booklover Apr 14. 75 Replies

Surreal, not just found in art.Continue

Tags: surreal

Poem - "Oh, Wait..."

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Luara Apr 11. 7 Replies

Before you ask, no, I didn't write this.  I discovered it in a comment on a Discovermagazine.com piece which…Continue

Tags: poem

Curious: Has anyone read the novel "Christian Nation"?

Started by Brent Feeney. Last reply by Plinius Apr 10. 11 Replies

So I've been thinking about this some lately, and I wanted to see what your thoughts were:I read a novel last fall that was making the rounds of Atheist blogs and what not called "Christian Nation", which is part alternative history and part…Continue

Stop the Religious Right. Four Steps You Can Take, Sean Faircloth.

Started by Joan Denoo. Last reply by Joan Denoo Apr 9. 2 Replies

Thanks to Grinning Cat via Loren Miller led me to this additional video by Sean Faircloth. He provides positive and powerful examples of thinking and acting. Continue

Science, Atheism & the Joyful Life -- by Sean Faircloth, Richard Dawkins Foundation

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Joan Denoo Apr 9. 6 Replies

Some speeches by atheists are factual and practical, dealing with the nuts and bolts of reality.  Some are diatribes against the superstitions we seek to overcome, pointing out the man behind the curtain and the fallacies and snake oil he tries to…Continue

Tags: life, joy, Richard Dawkins Foundation, Sean Faircloth

Bedtime Bible Stories (Betty Bowers)

Started by Loren Miller Apr 8. 0 Replies

Uh, oh!  America's Best Christian, Betty Bowers, is at it again, THIS time with bedtime stories!  Somehow with her retelling of some of the classics, I'm dubious that her versions would go over with the Brothers Grimm or Hans Christian Anderson,…Continue

Tags: stories, bedtime, Betty Bowers

Comment Wall

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Comment by booklover on November 25, 2013 at 7:27pm
Hi Joseph! If I were in your shoes, I would just point out that since I'm an Atheist, I can't support her religious youth- group. Period. But this is me at 46 talking. I think a younger me would have been more accommodating. The older I get,the less bullshit I can tolerate. That's why I have fewer "in real life" friends.~ Mindy
Comment by Patricia on November 25, 2013 at 6:33pm

My daughter never questions anything...even as a kid. She won't read because she hates it, & doesn't understand things even when she has to read. She even needs cookbooks explained to her. She's the one who runs her household & other than the religion, her husband is quite nice. I have felt all the way along if someone could get to him, then my daughter would come around too, but to keep peace in our not close relationship, the subject stays closed. I don't say anything because my patience is non-existent & when he brought the subject up after they met each other, I flatly stated then that religion is bullcrap. I have no desire to make nice to try to get through as I don't do well at face to face. Not only that, I always said I'd not ever be the ''meddling mother-in-law''.

Comment by Patricia on November 25, 2013 at 6:22pm

Yes, I'm looking at the refurbished since I know nothing about the Mac. I figure if I learned my way around the Windows 95, 98, 98 second edition, (all used,) ME upgrade, (which was a disastrous program!), XP, & now Windows 7, I should be able to find my way around something not Windows.

Do you pay for anti-virus/spyware etc., or have a free program on yours? See.....I know nothing more than the name.

Comment by Joan Denoo on November 25, 2013 at 6:10pm

Patricia, I bought my MacBook over five years ago, use it daily, it does all that I want it to do, doesn't freeze up like my old PC did, is the easiest of all computers to learn. At the time the going price was $1,000 and I paid $400 for mine, a reconditioned one. I have no regrets. 

Comment by Joan Denoo on November 25, 2013 at 5:58pm

I have a little confession to make. Over twenty years ago my daughter married the most obnoxious, arrogant, domineering, offensive, egotistic man I have ever met. For years I visited them only when I felt I had to in order to keep up appearances or family obligations. I detested the guy. Wanted nothing to do with him. 

When I returned to school to discover why so many women and children in my family were victims of family violence, and during my master's training at Whitworth College, we were put through a program called Leadership Institute of Spokane (LIOS). It was designed for leaders in education, business, law enforcement, religious communities, government, etc. In that training I felt like all my skin, muscles and tendons were torn off my bones and put back together in ways that brought about mental and physical health, to repair religious dogma. Many ministers, church youth leaders, priests and nuns graduated from LIOS, many left the organized church and formed programs of their own, without the dogma of religion. 

Over the years, my beautiful, smart, business-like, gentle daughter took courses with The Landmark Forum. It is the same type program that I graduated from in 1979. She learned how to examine her thinking and acting, set goals, identify options, develop action plans and evaluate outcomes. 

Laura knew she was not happy in her marriage, was fed up with Larry's attitudes and made some decisions. Long-story-short. She set an ultimatum: take a course in Landmark before she would reconsider her decision. 

Larry attended Landmark several years ago, recognized his fears, anger, guilt, shame, and depression. He learned how to read his own body, how to communicate with others, how to listen for feeling and meaning, how to see that black-white thinking left out a huge area of more-tha-acceptable gray, gave up notions of dominance and learned how to think and act in a partnership of equal rank. He learned how to manage his kids in ways that made all the difference in the world to them. 

Now, their two daughters, and two of their oldest grandchildren have taken courses to learn these skills. Nothing magic happened, they all learned how to live in healthy relationships. 

Many people think Landmark is a cult; you will find those articles by Googling. They have a right to their opinions, however they just do not understand what happens in experiential learning. It is the most powerful of education methods, not recognized by many trained professional educators. People who call it a cult simply judge out of ignorance. 

It is not a program for people who want instruction, lectures or sermons. It sets up situations to demonstrate how and why "normal" is not necessarily "healthy". 

I am profoundly and deeply in love with my daughter and her husband. They have so many skills that I can only dream of having. I can't wait to spend time with them and their menagerie living deep in the forest of Pend Oreille County. 

There, my confession time is up. 

Comment by Joan Denoo on November 25, 2013 at 5:26pm

Joseph, I have to get my 2 cents worth in here, even if I am a little late. 
Take whatever annoys you even a tiny, little bit, add five or ten or twenty years to the relationship and multiply the annoyance 1,000 times. Pretty soon, the things you don't like about her will outshine the things you like about her and you have all that time, money, energy and annoyance to deal with at some future date.

Explore your own thoughts, feeling and needs to determine what you need in a relationship, and on what you are able to give up. 

Tell her exactly what you think, honestly, and set the limits within which you are able and willing to live in a relationship with her. 

There are kids that desperately need sectarian influences in their lives to repair the damage caused by religion dogma. Clearly, it can't be done in a religious oriented youth group. If it is kids you like working with, then leave the religious environment and find a non-religious group or start one.

By-the-way, this is an excellent place to rant. Lots of old trash get cleaned out, and if you have some stinkin' thinkin' going on in your own thought processes, you will be able to confront them and decide if you have some trash you want to discard.

I don't know how many times I have written, "Thanks for the feedback, I was wrong." Those are the sweetest words I ever have thought or said or written. That is how delusions, denials, etc., gets sorted out.  That is how one becomes a mentally healthy human adult. 

 

Comment by Patricia on November 25, 2013 at 5:06pm

Joan, when you mentioned Macs the other day, I began researching for my next computer. I'll get a tax refund in the spring, so I may go for it then.

Comment by Joan Denoo on November 25, 2013 at 4:58pm

Patricia, according to my son, daughter and son-in-law, all who work in or own their own computer companies have very strong thoughts about Microsoft and Windows. My daughter got me into Mac's years ago and now I am using MacBook; I love it, take it with me in my brief case, can take photos with it. Not good quality, but at least I can gap a shot if not too detailed. 

My daughter uses MacBook Pro in her business, Larry uses one in his business, and they just bought one for the Pend Oreille County Volunteer Fire Dept. 

Comment by Joseph Corder on November 25, 2013 at 4:46pm

Thanks guys!!  I will say nothing unless she wonders why.  I was more afraid of what to say than saying nothing at all!  She will no doubt wonder if I am avoiding her request.  If this happens I will tell her what I think and why.  I hope that she understands and doesn't try to push the issue unless she want to see Mr. Ugly rear his defiant head!!

Comment by Patricia on November 25, 2013 at 4:31pm

When my granddaughter wanted us to donate money for a church trip, I told her that ''we are atheists who do not support religion in any form!'' Churches are already rolling in the money so they can damn well pay for the kids to do trips, & being a granddaughter makes no difference. I am sick & tired of people making demands in the name of religion, & we are expected to bow down......it's time even the kids know not everyone will fall for a them. Bad enough my daughter got brainwashed when she got married.

 

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