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Hang With Friends

Location: Earth
Members: 853
Latest Activity: 40 minutes ago

Come on in, pull up a chair!

Picture yourself spending some time with congenial friends, sharing your lives and pictures from your cell phones." They're curious about that cool game, song, movie, camping trip, art show, or other event that fascinated you. You talk about all kinds of stuff, poetry, styles, personal achievements, relationships, and bad days. You can share your inner child, and laugh together. They sympathetically listen to your feelings about serious topics like politics or climate change, even when they don't agree.

Personal validation comes from paying attention to one another, giving more than you get. Everyone respects you and themselves, despite our amazing range of personal tastes and interests. They'll tell you they don't agree with an idea or behavior without implying you're a bad person or somehow deficient. It's an "I'm OK, You're OK" kind of fellowship, where nobody tries to make himself look better by picking on somebody else.

Nobody here is into mind games. A discussion started with a loaded guilt-throwing question will be deleted.

This group is not intended to compete with other groups on topics they cover but to "fill in the cracks." Whenever a discussion dwells at length on a topic for which there's an existing group, we urge you to provide members a link to that group to continue along their tangent.

A comment is a shout-out, which will get lost in a few days, because the comment wall is just a random stack.

Please start a discussion to share stories, photos, and videos. Replies will pop up in your "latest activity" and a conversation can develop from the feelings and thoughts you contributed. Groups are built on discussions.

Discussion Forum

Seth Andrews' Rebuttal to "10 Women Christian Men Shouldn't Marry" (The Thinking Atheist)

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Grinning Cat Jan 22. 13 Replies

It seems as though some numb-nuts New York pastor by the name of Stephen Kim has written two marriage advice pieces for christian men and women.  Not surprisingly, his suggestions come straight out of his never-fail magic book.  Seth Andrews of The…Continue

Tags: advice, marriage, The Thinking Atheist, Seth Andrews, Stephen Kim

Living in the Answers

Started by Joan Denoo. Last reply by Patricia Jan 18. 13 Replies

I am weary of those who declare they understand all the answers to the creation of the universe and Earth. They claim they know the answers to the questions of life, meaning, death, and the afterlife. Those with all the answer speak with confidence,…Continue

Tags: confidence, education, government, family, afterlife

Twin terrorists caught

Started by Patricia. Last reply by Patricia Jan 11. 7 Replies

Canada: twin terrorists caught before going to Mideast Saturday, January 10, 2015 By Martin Barillas L-R: Carlos and Ashton Larmond The Royal Canadian Mounted Police arrested and charged a pair of 24-year-old identical twin brothers on…Continue

Betty Bowers Best of 2014

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Loren Miller Jan 4. 33 Replies

Happy New Year, everyone!  Now that we're off on another 365-day stint of sniping at believers, leave it to America's Best Christian, Betty Bowers, to sum up the year past from her holier-than-EVERYBODY point of view! Have You had YOUR Betty today?!?Continue

Tags: 2014, America's Best Christian, Betty Bowers

Christmas: Behind the Curtain (The Thinking Atheist)

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by booklover Dec 28, 2014. 23 Replies

Well, it's that time of year again.  Time to gird our loins, put on our battle armor and join the (dah-dah DAAAAAH!) WAR AGAINST CHRISTMAS!!! [groan!] Yeah, most of us have heard that crap before, probably too many times, in fact, how atheists are…Continue

Tags: Christmas, The Thinking Atheist, Seth Andrews

Seth Andrews - The Copycats: How Christianity Steals The Best Ideas

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Loren Miller Dec 24, 2014. 11 Replies

Many of us have observed or learned how christianity shamelessly borrows from other sources to bolster its position and show off its supposed wonderfulness.  Well, Seth Andrews of The Thinking Atheist podcast has compiled some of the more modern-day…Continue

Tags: steal, borrow, copycat, The Thinking Atheist, Seth Andrews

Comment Wall

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Comment by booklover on November 21, 2014 at 8:31am

Bertold, I'm not sure what the material is called.  It's man-made, and it's all in one piece.  I think the name brand is like Corian?  If it gets a ding or burn, you can sand it out.  Our stuff was so old it was gross.  We're probably redoing everything but new cupboards.  Those we'll have to refinish.  What I'm also looking forward to is a new tile floor in there.

Comment by Bertold Brautigan on November 21, 2014 at 7:54am

Mindy - how fun! What kind of countertops are you installing?

Comment by booklover on November 21, 2014 at 7:51am

Those are both great, Patricia!

Well I'm up and dressed early, but no sign of the roofers or plumber who are supposed to be here early.  Getting new kitchen countertops and sink today.

Comment by Randall Smith on November 21, 2014 at 7:35am

Carl, sorry about the rescheduling. Also, "praying for you". That boils my blood. Except for my stupid ex-wife, my family (kids and 2 sisters) are pretty respectful of my nonbelief. No meal prayers, for example (at least not outloud).

Felaine, your insights, wisdom, and wit are awesome!

Comment by Idaho Spud on November 21, 2014 at 6:47am

Thanks Patricia.  The "I have this book" one will probably go to my sister when I respond to her saying "We'll have to agree to disagree."  

I've been wanting to tell her I don't agree to disagree, because that makes it sound like our arguments are equal, when they're not.  Her arguments have no good evidence behind them, while mine have mountains of good scientific evidence.

Comment by sk8eycat on November 21, 2014 at 12:51am

Oh, Patricia!  GOOD stuff!  Thanks for posting ALL of it!  <3

Comment by Patricia on November 21, 2014 at 12:27am

Comment by Patricia on November 21, 2014 at 12:26am

Comment by sk8eycat on November 20, 2014 at 5:19pm

Carl, this is kinda cruel, but controlled experiments have been done with heart surgery patients, and the results were very weird.  The patients who had been told they were being prayed for did worse than any other group.

Try telling your mother to pray all she wants, but not to tell you about it.

Comment by Joan Denoo on November 20, 2014 at 5:05pm

Carl, you wrote that your mother said, 

"everyone I talk to, our friends and acquaintances, all say they are praying for you.  Prayer works."

If your mother's statement and the statements of others bother you, the trick is to reframe the experience. Especially with someone you love as much as your mother. Demonstrate to her and others that you put your full confidence in your medical team and in your strong desire to be healthy.

At the same time you know that there is an extremely high probability that prayers don't work because there is no god to hear them. I don't think it is wise to make the claim there is no god or prayer does not work, because you could be asked to prove your claim. It isn't possible to provide such proof. 

Because you know those who believe in superstitions depend on something that does not probably exist, and they feel hopeless and helpless to take away the disease, they want very much to help. They care about you. 

If you can acknowledge their care with a genuine appreciation, while at the same time tell them what you really need. You, and many others need their active participation in fundraising for those in treatment, or for liver research. That way, you give them an out. That is something they can do, hopefully, and it isn't cheap prayers.

My rage was so powerful it showed when others said they would pray for me. I had to reframe my experience. I was rather blunt, even bold, in asking them to take part in some real effort to fight cancer. 

You could suggest to them that they could volunteer time to help you by driving you to appointments or doing grocery shopping, or just sitting with you. Or they could work to raise money to help patients with expenses, or for liver research. Or volunteer at the treatment center. 

One friend of mine who died of cancer asked for us to read to her.  

Ask them for what you need. I know! We do not ask for help, even when we need it. We are supposed to be self-sufficient. 

Tell your mother how you feel and what you need from her. She really does want to help you, even if it is rattling bones of birds and eyeballs of gnutes. Seize the opportunity to educate her. Show her the confidence you have in your team of medical professionals. 

 

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