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Hang With Friends

Location: Earth
Members: 838
Latest Activity: 45 minutes ago

Come on in, pull up a chair!

Picture yourself spending some time with congenial friends, sharing your lives and pictures from your cell phones." They're curious about that cool game, song, movie, camping trip, art show, or other event that fascinated you. You talk about all kinds of stuff, poetry, styles, personal achievements, relationships, and bad days. You can share your inner child, and laugh together. They sympathetically listen to your feelings about serious topics like politics or climate change, even when they don't agree.

Personal validation comes from paying attention to one another, giving more than you get. Everyone respects you and themselves, despite our amazing range of personal tastes and interests. They'll tell you they don't agree with an idea or behavior without implying you're a bad person or somehow deficient. It's an "I'm OK, You're OK" kind of fellowship, where nobody tries to make himself look better by picking on somebody else.

Nobody here is into mind games. A discussion started with a loaded guilt-throwing question will be deleted.

This group is not intended to compete with other groups on topics they cover but to "fill in the cracks." Whenever a discussion dwells at length on a topic for which there's an existing group, we urge you to provide members a link to that group to continue along their tangent.

A comment is a shout-out, which will get lost in a few days, because the comment wall is just a random stack.

Please start a discussion to share stories, photos, and videos. Replies will pop up in your "latest activity" and a conversation can develop from the feelings and thoughts you contributed. Groups are built on discussions.

Discussion Forum

Your favorite photobombs?

Started by Ruth Anthony-Gardner. Last reply by Ruth Anthony-Gardner on Monday. 10 Replies

Running of the bulls photobomb.Continue

Are you battling cancer or a cancer survivor?

Started by Worrall Travel Rs - Roz and Russ. Last reply by Worrall Travel Rs - Roz and Russ on Friday. 14 Replies

Happily, I am now a five year breast cancer survivor, and I am thankful to my friends, family, my health care team, and to science and medical discoveries. Dealing with cancer and treatment is never easy and it's damned scary, but it is easier when…Continue

what boobs are good for

Started by dr kellie. Last reply by Bertold Brautigan Aug 21. 77 Replies

I discovered a brilliant new way to avoid  having xians ring my doorbell in attempt to share the good news with me.  Just now, I was in my kitchen, washing dishes and finding something to eat, when I looked out the large window above my sink.  Two…Continue

Surreal, I haz it

Started by Ruth Anthony-Gardner. Last reply by Ruth Anthony-Gardner Aug 6. 76 Replies

Surreal, not just found in art.Continue

Tags: surreal

Eat vegetables, Be happy

Started by Ruth Anthony-Gardner. Last reply by Plinius Aug 1. 9 Replies

An association between the amount of fruit and vegetables people ate and their happiness? Yes indeed. People who ate 7 portions of fruits and/or vegetables a day were the happiest.…Continue

Tags: vegetables, fruit, diet, happiness

Comment Wall

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Comment by Grinning Cat on November 26, 2012 at 7:06pm

Thanks for all the pictures, wise words, and sharing about what's going on with your lives!

A "mew"sical note:

She's a grand old cat
She's a high-flying cat
And long may her proud tail wave
It's the emblem of
The cat we love
So handsome and clever and brave
Oh, the black and white
It's a horrible sight
If you happen to be a rat
May old acquaintance ne'er be forgot
Keep your eye on the grand old cat.


(Tune: "You're a Grand Old Flag"
 Words: sent in to the Department of Folk Song
 of A Prairie Home Companion)

Comment by booklover on November 26, 2012 at 5:18pm

Thanks Spud!  I'm sorry you have depression too.  I take meds for anxiety and I don't really FEEL depressed.  I just think I am depressed a little also.  I guess I gained weight after my looks 'went' and don't really care (I'm not super-heavy, but more than I've ever weighed.)  I do care for health-reasons though!  This sounds, I can't think of the word, but I got to be young and pretty and thin, and now that I'm just a 'pleasant-looking', middle-aged, overweight woman, it's like I just don't care because I'm fine with that.  I hope that doesn't sound horrible to anyone.  See Joan? I'm talking! ;)  No, I truly appreciate your offer to talk and your insight.  I do have lots of people that I do have frank and good conversations with.  I really don't feel bad about myself or anything.  I just need to talk myself into taking better care of my health exercise-wise.  When I was young I was very athletic.  I hate getting all sweaty and then having to cool-down before I shower, etc.  I know, I'm a big baby!!!!  Just saying that makes me ashamed! lol. I know what makes me anxious and depressed, and that's worrying about my kids.  I've told people on here a LOT, lol, that my son has type 1 diabetes (an auto-immune disorder, nothing like type 2), and my daughter has anxiety, ocd, depression~ same as I do (and my grandfather had, and sister, and her daughter...)  I just can't be happy when she is so unhappy right now, and my son is fine, I will just ALWAYS worry about that every minute of every day for the rest of my life.  WOW! I should have started a therapy thread!  Thanks for listening friends!

Ian, Cool pictures! 

Comment by Joan Denoo on November 26, 2012 at 3:05pm

It was 33 years ago I completed my formal training and modern research builds on the theories of those "ancient" ones. I learned that feelings of being unable to control outcomes or predict outcomes leads to anxiety and depression. The term most often used with this mix of anxiety and depression is "Learned Helplessness".

Just about very organism with a brain can learn helplessness as demonstrated by research on prisoners of war, battered women and children, dogs, rats, pigeons, pike (the fish), octopus, and many other creatures. Anxiety and depression come with having a brain. 

Treatments of anxiety and depression include medication, exercise, Rational Emotive Therapy, and Dialectic Behavior Therapy.

These last two involve a mixture of cognitive and behavioral therapies. For example, each one of us has a private conversation going on in our heads that only you hear and no one else can.

The conversation may include such "I am not good enough," "I can't do ...," "I don't belong," "am not worthy of being loved," "I'm not smart enough," "My life has no meaning or purpose."

These, of course, are not the only private internal conversations that create anxiety and depression, but they are the most common and the ones I heard most often during my 20+ years in practice.  


So, may I be so bold as to suggest listening for your quiet, personal talk and see if you can discover something that makes you anxious or depressed. Get some exercise and focus on positive self-talk. Do things you like to do with people you enjoy and make you feel good about yourself. None of the fake talk or friends, but honest and reassuring talk and friends. 

Let me know if you try these skills and if they help. I learn by listening to others, so go for it if you want to. 

Comment by Ian Mason on November 26, 2012 at 2:26pm

Who had the bird site? Here's one you might not have. Kingfisher misses minnow and catches stone instead.

Comment by Idaho Spud on November 26, 2012 at 12:33pm

I like the unfriended cat also. :)  

Comment by Idaho Spud on November 26, 2012 at 12:29pm

Oh, that's funny Ian!  And, cute.

Comment by Idaho Spud on November 26, 2012 at 12:27pm

Hope your trip helps Booklover.

I can relate, because I'm 60 pounds overweight and Depression is a large factor I'm sure.

Comment by Ian Mason on November 26, 2012 at 12:20pm

Smashing pics all round. Thanks.

Comment by booklover on November 26, 2012 at 12:14pm

Yep~ This is my attitude! lol

Comment by booklover on November 26, 2012 at 12:12pm

That's great Spud!  I know I have gained too much weight.  Issues with depression and anxiety didn't help!  I need to get in the right frame of mind!  Maybe that upcoming trip with give me incentive!

 

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