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Hang With Friends

Location: Earth
Members: 852
Latest Activity: 2 hours ago

Come on in, pull up a chair!

Picture yourself spending some time with congenial friends, sharing your lives and pictures from your cell phones." They're curious about that cool game, song, movie, camping trip, art show, or other event that fascinated you. You talk about all kinds of stuff, poetry, styles, personal achievements, relationships, and bad days. You can share your inner child, and laugh together. They sympathetically listen to your feelings about serious topics like politics or climate change, even when they don't agree.

Personal validation comes from paying attention to one another, giving more than you get. Everyone respects you and themselves, despite our amazing range of personal tastes and interests. They'll tell you they don't agree with an idea or behavior without implying you're a bad person or somehow deficient. It's an "I'm OK, You're OK" kind of fellowship, where nobody tries to make himself look better by picking on somebody else.

Nobody here is into mind games. A discussion started with a loaded guilt-throwing question will be deleted.

This group is not intended to compete with other groups on topics they cover but to "fill in the cracks." Whenever a discussion dwells at length on a topic for which there's an existing group, we urge you to provide members a link to that group to continue along their tangent.

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Please start a discussion to share stories, photos, and videos. Replies will pop up in your "latest activity" and a conversation can develop from the feelings and thoughts you contributed. Groups are built on discussions.

Discussion Forum

Seeing Things (TheraminTrees)

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Ruth Anthony-Gardner Feb 25. 2 Replies

TheraminTrees doesn't release videos very often these days,  but when he does, they are positive GEMS.  Most recent of his works is the following, wherein he dismantles some of the common rebuttals atheist get from believers when we assert our…Continue

Tags: seeing things, YouTube, TheraminTrees

Let's not define ourselves or others by our worst behaviors

Started by Ruth Anthony-Gardner. Last reply by Ruth Anthony-Gardner Feb 15. 4 Replies

My take on the recent melt down at Hang With Friends, of which I missed part, is that some of us were tripped up by a habit of thought. It's something we learn growing up, and use without realizing how much pain it can generate -  failing to…Continue

Tags: dispute at Hang With Friends

You'll NEVER Guess Who Just Showed Up on Mr. Deity!!!

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Loren Miller Feb 14. 11 Replies

I don't believe this one either, but ... well, here it is: And would you believe - Mr. D made me laugh!  RD, that is!Continue

Tags: Richard Dawkins, Mr. Deity

Seth Andrews' Rebuttal to "10 Women Christian Men Shouldn't Marry" (The Thinking Atheist)

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Loren Miller Feb 6. 20 Replies

It seems as though some numb-nuts New York pastor by the name of Stephen Kim has written two marriage advice pieces for christian men and women.  Not surprisingly, his suggestions come straight out of his never-fail magic book.  Seth Andrews of The…Continue

Tags: advice, marriage, The Thinking Atheist, Seth Andrews, Stephen Kim

Seth Andrews' New Book, "Sacred Cows" (The Thinking Atheist)

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Patricia Feb 6. 7 Replies

For the last few podcasts, Seth Andrews has been alluding to a new literary effort he's been working on.  Well, the cat is out of the bag ... or perhaps I should say, the cow is out of the barn!  Seth's new opus is entitled: Sacred Cows: a…Continue

Tags: book, Sacred Cows, The Thinking Atheist, Seth Andrews

Living in the Answers

Started by Joan Denoo. Last reply by Patricia Jan 18. 13 Replies

I am weary of those who declare they understand all the answers to the creation of the universe and Earth. They claim they know the answers to the questions of life, meaning, death, and the afterlife. Those with all the answer speak with confidence,…Continue

Tags: confidence, education, government, family, afterlife

Comment Wall

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Comment by Joan Denoo on May 24, 2013 at 2:33pm

We and They 

Have you noticed factors held in common by these men listed below? They all know what is best for you, they teach and/or preach a dogma based on notions of domination and exploitation, they create institutions that instruct people to submit to their ideas, to obey, to yield, to sacrifice yourself to their beliefs, they have faith in ideas based on power over, not power with, and many people under their influence fail to flourish.  

Teaching college classes, parenting classes, at boys’ ranches for out of control boys, and teaching in battered women and children’s shelters, and in the county and state prison systems, I kept hearing common stories. I kept a tickler file and recorded the name and styles of those to whom my students and private clients listened, believed, and had faith in. 

Symptoms presented to me were depression, anxiety, overcompensation, underachieving, acting our, self-mutilation, headaches, stomach problems, and general angst in their personality.

My strategy, when working with individuals and especially when working with groups of people, was to teach them life skills such as assertiveness, active listening for meaning and feeling, identifying feelings, problem solving, conflict resolution, negotiating, reframing, organizing, scheduling, budgeting, and other basic personal and interpersonal skills. These all very easily can be taught and learned. Even the most rebellious boy, or the most depressed wife, or the outrageously defiance client can see the virtue of these skills and quickly turn their lives into a more efficient, effective and fulfilling way to be.

No, we do not deal with Hitler, Pol Pot, King Leopold II, Rev. Richard C, Halverson, or Rev. Richard Leon. But we have the same basic principles being imposed on individuals that cripple them and prevent them from being truly and fully human.

I most humbly disagree with those who say my kind of thinking puts us at “us vs. them” mentality, and we should not do that. I say, most emphatically, STOP IT! When some one or institution teaches the Passive Gospel or political strategies with the same message, we cripple people’s minds. We bind their minds in ways they do not understand or recognize. The harder they try, the worst their angst becomes. When we hear killer words and phrases such as these men preached, taught, and dictated, the individual cannot and will not flourish.

Just look at your own experiences in life. When others try to control you or dominate you, or tell you something that isn’t healthy, how do you feel? Do you submit, feel guilt or shame, obey without question? These are the attitudes, beliefs, customs, traditions and values that mind-bind, not for your benefit but for the ego enhancement of someone who wants to control you and dictate to you who you are and how you are to be.

If they say and do things that empower you to flourish, you have a true and trusted friend, worthy of respect. If you feel angst, pay attention to the words and attitudes of those with whom you associate. It is a We-and-They world! If we don’t understand that, we could spend a lifetime struggling to flourish and not have the tools to make it happen.

Joan M. Denoo, 2013-05-24

Comment by Steph S. on May 24, 2013 at 11:04am

Comment by Lillie on May 23, 2013 at 10:42pm

I saw something similar to the car trying to pass illegally on the shoulder.  We were traveling on the interstate when traffic became backed up due to construction. This car came sailing down the pull off lane with a cop sailing right behind him. As everyone eventually caught up to him standing by his car looking very foolish stopped by the police, there were all kinds of jeers and catcalls.  Once in a blue moon there is a little justice in the world.

Comment by sk8eycat on May 23, 2013 at 10:00pm

Ruth, that gif is a hoot!  I've never seen anything quite like that happen, but I can't count the number of times I've seen some idiot switching lanes all over the place without even signalling, and cutting in front of big trucks and other dangerous stuff.  BUT when I got to where I was going (I don't drive anymore), there the idiot would be, at the bottom of the off-ramp, waiting for the light to change.

One of the (many) reasons I quit driving was that there are too many people on the road who think they're so bloody important that they don't have to obey the laws, and watch out for other drivers.  They not only drive like that on the freeways, they behave the same way on surface streets...while yakking on their hand-held cell phones.  Too frightening!
***************************
Change subject: I saw a great comment about Wolf Blitzer's "thank the lord" gaffe in Raw Story:

"We're here! We don't fear (gods)! Get used to it!"

Comment by Steph S. on May 23, 2013 at 5:01pm

Ruth that Animated GIF is great - I have had people pass illegally on the shoulder.

And look what they got for passing. HAHAHA

Comment by Ruth Anthony-Gardner on May 23, 2013 at 4:32pm

Sorry to hear that you've had chemobrain already after your first treatment, Joan. It's great that your family is so suppoprtive of your communication here. I appreciate all of you.

On a lighter note, I imagine you may have been annoyed once or twice by someone passing you illegally by driving on the shoulder.

Comment by Loren Miller on May 23, 2013 at 10:46am

Comment by Ian Mason on May 23, 2013 at 10:04am

Glad to hear from you Joan and to hear that you're chugging along. That's a really good quote that I'm going to steal.

Thanks for your supportive comments, friends. It can be hard to see loved ones suffering on a downhill path. Your understanding makes that easier to bear.

Comment by Steph S. on May 23, 2013 at 9:26am

Comment by Steph S. on May 23, 2013 at 9:25am

Hello everyone.

Joan I am glad you are getting over the nausea and feel no pain.

I am glad you have a wonderful support group in your family and that they are there for you.

Ruth - the medical professionals really made a mistake in their terminology. That was funny that you called them on it.

Cats in hats are always funny Melinda. Well - to me anyway.

 

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