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Hang With Friends

Location: Earth
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Picture yourself spending some time with congenial friends, sharing your lives and pictures from your cell phones." They're curious about that cool game, song, movie, camping trip, art show, or other event that fascinated you. You talk about all kinds of stuff, poetry, styles, personal achievements, relationships, and bad days. You can share your inner child, and laugh together. They sympathetically listen to your feelings about serious topics like politics or climate change, even when they don't agree.

Personal validation comes from paying attention to one another, giving more than you get. Everyone respects you and themselves, despite our amazing range of personal tastes and interests. They'll tell you they don't agree with an idea or behavior without implying you're a bad person or somehow deficient. It's an "I'm OK, You're OK" kind of fellowship, where nobody tries to make himself look better by picking on somebody else.

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Discussion Forum

Surreal, I haz it

Started by Ruth Anthony-Gardner. Last reply by Ruth Anthony-Gardner Aug 6. 76 Replies

Surreal, not just found in art.Continue

Tags: surreal

Eat vegetables, Be happy

Started by Ruth Anthony-Gardner. Last reply by Plinius Aug 1. 9 Replies

An association between the amount of fruit and vegetables people ate and their happiness? Yes indeed. People who ate 7 portions of fruits and/or vegetables a day were the happiest.…Continue

Tags: vegetables, fruit, diet, happiness

Optical Illusions

Started by Ruth Anthony-Gardner. Last reply by Idaho Spud Jul 30. 59 Replies

This one seems a bit creepy, like the middle one shouldn't be able to change rotation like that. from Cheezburger.comContinue

Forest Fire

Started by Patricia. Last reply by Patricia Jul 21. 14 Replies

Continue

change.org

Started by Patricia. Last reply by The Flying Atheist Jul 16. 6 Replies

There's a new petition taking off on Change.org, and we think you might be…Continue

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Comment by sk8eycat on June 9, 2013 at 12:02am

Joan, I love that sly NSA graphic, even though the situation itself scares the *bleep!* outta me.  I have nothing to hide, but I remember how the KGB used to operate, and one of my usual sarcastic remarks could be misunderstood if overheard...and taken seriously...and I'm too old to put up with their brand of interror-gation.

***************

I also can relate to your post about "people-pleasing."  We talked about that a lot when I was going to 12-step meetings for Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA).  It's a behavioral symptom of some sort of childhood dysfunctional family stuff.

In my own case, I was never physically or emotionally abused, but I believed that if I could just do the right thing, like get better grades in school, my dad would stop drinking.  He was a "quiet" alcoholic...no yelling, or physical tantrums, but he just wasn't "there."  He did finally dry out when I was 20, and I went to work for him...learning bookkeeping...for 7 years.  Till he fell off the wagon, and I ran away again.  (Re-joined Holiday.)

When I was older I found myself dating guys who drank too much, and I finally realized that I was looking for someone like my father.

Then there were a few who tried to control me...my beliefs and taste in entertainment.

I ran like hell from all of them.  I didn't know why at the time, but I guess it was just self-preservation.  I couldn't imagine myself spending my life with any of them (and having their children. Gack!).

D'ruther have a non-physical relationship with a gay man...or men, except I'm a lousy roommate.  The only reason my sister and I are able to live together is that we leave each other alone.

Anyway, I didn't understand why I did what I did till I started talking to other people who'd been through the same sort of things.  ACA really did help for a couple of years, till I got tired of all the "god talk."  and fore, it wasn't like AA where you have to keep going to meetings for the rest of your life.  I just needed to step back and take a good look at myself, and figure out why I kept putting myself in people-pleasing "doormat" situations. And stop it.

I wan't pleasing anybody, anyway.  Especially not myself.

Comment by Ruth Anthony-Gardner on June 8, 2013 at 11:33pm

ROFL, too right, Joan, "the only part of government that listens."

It was inevitable that government would spy on all of us, with today's connectivity. My solution is that the more power an individual has the more his or her life should be an open book. It should go both ways. It's the imbalance of information power that disturbs me, not the spying per se. If corporate honchos and politicians had absolutely no privacy they couldn't abuse this power.

Comment by booklover on June 8, 2013 at 8:09pm

I know, right Joseph?!  I'm embarrassed that our country is known for being so religious.  I'm sure the religious people are PROUD of that fact.  Ugh.

Comment by Joseph Corder on June 8, 2013 at 7:40pm

sk8eycat, Oh yes, great speech!  Very humble!  I loved the parts about adding the inconsistencies up and coming to the conclusion that it's B.S.  I can relate!  I was raised as a Methodist( the very liberal style), but my parents weren't that religious.  My parents never held us back from learning and NEVER bitched about our choices pertaining to religion!  My biggest mistake is believing that people didn't take this shit seriously!  One of my worst days of my life was when I found out that the U.S. is the most religious nation on earth!!!  Fu**in sad!!!

Comment by sk8eycat on June 8, 2013 at 1:57pm

Joseph, Here's Ron Reagan, Jr.'s speech when he accepted his "Emperor Has No Clothes" award at the 2009 FFRF convention in Seattle:

http://ffrf.org/outreach/awards/emperor-has-no-clothes-award/item/1...

I think Ronald Reagan Sr. (AND Richard Nixon) would be considered much too liberal for today's GOP.  And Eisenhower would have been tarred, feathered, and run out of town on a rail for his prophetic warning about the "military-industrial complex."

Comment by Ian Mason on June 8, 2013 at 12:51pm

Joan, that's a post with a very sharp point. Good one.

Comment by Joseph Corder on June 8, 2013 at 12:37pm

The other day, I was checking out the Evil Bible site http://www.evilbible.com/  and found out that Ron Reagan Jr. is an Atheist!!  He was asked when he quit going to church.  "At age 12, I told my father that I am no longer going to church, because I am an Atheist!!!!!  I can only imagine what the look on his father had.  Too bad Ron didn't have a camera!  " Hey dad, I am an Atheist, SAY CHEESE!!!!!!

Comment by booklover on June 8, 2013 at 11:42am

I never thought of that Chris!  You are right!  Except for me, no XBOX, lol, it would be a big pile of books!

Comment by Joan Denoo on June 8, 2013 at 10:42am

Comment by Plinius on June 8, 2013 at 10:35am

Welcome back, Ian!

 

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