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Hang With Friends

Location: Earth
Members: 851
Latest Activity: 20 hours ago

Come on in, pull up a chair!

Picture yourself spending some time with congenial friends, sharing your lives and pictures from your cell phones." They're curious about that cool game, song, movie, camping trip, art show, or other event that fascinated you. You talk about all kinds of stuff, poetry, styles, personal achievements, relationships, and bad days. You can share your inner child, and laugh together. They sympathetically listen to your feelings about serious topics like politics or climate change, even when they don't agree.

Personal validation comes from paying attention to one another, giving more than you get. Everyone respects you and themselves, despite our amazing range of personal tastes and interests. They'll tell you they don't agree with an idea or behavior without implying you're a bad person or somehow deficient. It's an "I'm OK, You're OK" kind of fellowship, where nobody tries to make himself look better by picking on somebody else.

Nobody here is into mind games. A discussion started with a loaded guilt-throwing question will be deleted.

This group is not intended to compete with other groups on topics they cover but to "fill in the cracks." Whenever a discussion dwells at length on a topic for which there's an existing group, we urge you to provide members a link to that group to continue along their tangent.

A comment is a shout-out, which will get lost in a few days, because the comment wall is just a random stack.

Please start a discussion to share stories, photos, and videos. Replies will pop up in your "latest activity" and a conversation can develop from the feelings and thoughts you contributed. Groups are built on discussions.

Discussion Forum

The FLDS Cult Is Unraveling

Started by Joan Denoo. Last reply by Idaho Spud on Sunday. 3 Replies

The FLDS Cult Is Unraveling"the internet is a lifeline for people trapped in the most restrictive and stifling forms of…Continue

Tags: Warren Jeff, internet, FLDS

Ode to Yahweh (Non Stamp Collector & 43alley)

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Joan Denoo Mar 24. 1 Reply

Ages ago (five or six years, I guess it is) when I first started recognizing my own atheism, one of the first atheist YouTubers I ran onto was Non Stamp Collector.  His handiwork wasn't up to Disney's standards, nor even Hanna-Barbera, but his wit…Continue

Tags: Yahweh, YouTube, 43alley, Non Stamp Collector

Oregon Field Guide - Lamprey Decline

Started by Joan Denoo. Last reply by Ruth Anthony-Gardner Mar 15. 3 Replies

Oregon Field Guide - Lamprey Decline"Populations of Eel-like lamprey have suddenly plummeted since the year 2000 in the Columbia Basin, surprising…Continue

Richard Dawkins, Growing Up in the Universe

Started by Joan Denoo. Last reply by Joan Denoo Mar 14. 2 Replies

Here is an oldie, the young Richard Dawkins teaching kids about the universe. I especially like the one demonstrating how the eye evolved. This should answer those who believe it was impossible to evolve an eye. Continue

Tags: universe, teaching, Dawkins, Richard

Seeing Things (TheraminTrees)

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Ruth Anthony-Gardner Feb 25. 2 Replies

TheraminTrees doesn't release videos very often these days,  but when he does, they are positive GEMS.  Most recent of his works is the following, wherein he dismantles some of the common rebuttals atheist get from believers when we assert our…Continue

Tags: seeing things, YouTube, TheraminTrees

Let's not define ourselves or others by our worst behaviors

Started by Ruth Anthony-Gardner. Last reply by Ruth Anthony-Gardner Feb 15. 4 Replies

My take on the recent melt down at Hang With Friends, of which I missed part, is that some of us were tripped up by a habit of thought. It's something we learn growing up, and use without realizing how much pain it can generate -  failing to…Continue

Tags: dispute at Hang With Friends

Comment Wall

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Comment by Steph S. on November 25, 2013 at 8:27pm

Well my hair does not look quite like that when it is humid. But that is a bird - I thought it was funny.

I don't like sports either. I find it boring myself. I suppose many would disagree with me. Cool Whip - yummy.

Facebook I see as privacy invasion and lots of worry and loss of time doing more important things. The Nexus is such a better place to spend my time.

Comment by Joan Denoo on November 25, 2013 at 6:10pm

Patricia, I bought my MacBook over five years ago, use it daily, it does all that I want it to do, doesn't freeze up like my old PC did, is the easiest of all computers to learn. At the time the going price was $1,000 and I paid $400 for mine, a reconditioned one. I have no regrets. 

Comment by Joan Denoo on November 25, 2013 at 5:58pm

I have a little confession to make. Over twenty years ago my daughter married the most obnoxious, arrogant, domineering, offensive, egotistic man I have ever met. For years I visited them only when I felt I had to in order to keep up appearances or family obligations. I detested the guy. Wanted nothing to do with him. 

When I returned to school to discover why so many women and children in my family were victims of family violence, and during my master's training at Whitworth College, we were put through a program called Leadership Institute of Spokane (LIOS). It was designed for leaders in education, business, law enforcement, religious communities, government, etc. In that training I felt like all my skin, muscles and tendons were torn off my bones and put back together in ways that brought about mental and physical health, to repair religious dogma. Many ministers, church youth leaders, priests and nuns graduated from LIOS, many left the organized church and formed programs of their own, without the dogma of religion. 

Over the years, my beautiful, smart, business-like, gentle daughter took courses with The Landmark Forum. It is the same type program that I graduated from in 1979. She learned how to examine her thinking and acting, set goals, identify options, develop action plans and evaluate outcomes. 

Laura knew she was not happy in her marriage, was fed up with Larry's attitudes and made some decisions. Long-story-short. She set an ultimatum: take a course in Landmark before she would reconsider her decision. 

Larry attended Landmark several years ago, recognized his fears, anger, guilt, shame, and depression. He learned how to read his own body, how to communicate with others, how to listen for feeling and meaning, how to see that black-white thinking left out a huge area of more-tha-acceptable gray, gave up notions of dominance and learned how to think and act in a partnership of equal rank. He learned how to manage his kids in ways that made all the difference in the world to them. 

Now, their two daughters, and two of their oldest grandchildren have taken courses to learn these skills. Nothing magic happened, they all learned how to live in healthy relationships. 

Many people think Landmark is a cult; you will find those articles by Googling. They have a right to their opinions, however they just do not understand what happens in experiential learning. It is the most powerful of education methods, not recognized by many trained professional educators. People who call it a cult simply judge out of ignorance. 

It is not a program for people who want instruction, lectures or sermons. It sets up situations to demonstrate how and why "normal" is not necessarily "healthy". 

I am profoundly and deeply in love with my daughter and her husband. They have so many skills that I can only dream of having. I can't wait to spend time with them and their menagerie living deep in the forest of Pend Oreille County. 

There, my confession time is up. 

Comment by Joan Denoo on November 25, 2013 at 5:26pm

Joseph, I have to get my 2 cents worth in here, even if I am a little late. 
Take whatever annoys you even a tiny, little bit, add five or ten or twenty years to the relationship and multiply the annoyance 1,000 times. Pretty soon, the things you don't like about her will outshine the things you like about her and you have all that time, money, energy and annoyance to deal with at some future date.

Explore your own thoughts, feeling and needs to determine what you need in a relationship, and on what you are able to give up. 

Tell her exactly what you think, honestly, and set the limits within which you are able and willing to live in a relationship with her. 

There are kids that desperately need sectarian influences in their lives to repair the damage caused by religion dogma. Clearly, it can't be done in a religious oriented youth group. If it is kids you like working with, then leave the religious environment and find a non-religious group or start one.

By-the-way, this is an excellent place to rant. Lots of old trash get cleaned out, and if you have some stinkin' thinkin' going on in your own thought processes, you will be able to confront them and decide if you have some trash you want to discard.

I don't know how many times I have written, "Thanks for the feedback, I was wrong." Those are the sweetest words I ever have thought or said or written. That is how delusions, denials, etc., gets sorted out.  That is how one becomes a mentally healthy human adult. 

 

Comment by Joan Denoo on November 25, 2013 at 4:58pm

Patricia, according to my son, daughter and son-in-law, all who work in or own their own computer companies have very strong thoughts about Microsoft and Windows. My daughter got me into Mac's years ago and now I am using MacBook; I love it, take it with me in my brief case, can take photos with it. Not good quality, but at least I can gap a shot if not too detailed. 

My daughter uses MacBook Pro in her business, Larry uses one in his business, and they just bought one for the Pend Oreille County Volunteer Fire Dept. 

Comment by Joseph Corder on November 25, 2013 at 4:46pm

Thanks guys!!  I will say nothing unless she wonders why.  I was more afraid of what to say than saying nothing at all!  She will no doubt wonder if I am avoiding her request.  If this happens I will tell her what I think and why.  I hope that she understands and doesn't try to push the issue unless she want to see Mr. Ugly rear his defiant head!!

Comment by Loren Miller on November 25, 2013 at 4:26pm

Joe, stating that you don't believe in anything supernatural is hardly what I would call an inflammatory statement.  Question: would you former girlfriend follow and join an atheists' group?  Is sauce for the goose a horse of a different color?

Have her try that shoe on the other foot - see how it feels to her.

Comment by Idaho Spud on November 25, 2013 at 4:23pm

Joseph, I'm more hardcore than you and would tell her that I'm sorry, but I'm certain religion does a lot more harm than good, so I can't support her.  That's basically what I've told my family.

Comment by Joseph Corder on November 25, 2013 at 4:10pm

Hey guys,  I have a problem.  I have been talking to an old girlfriend from 33 yrs. ago.  She is nice but she is a jesus freak but doesn't talk to me about it (she knows how I feel)  She runs a youth group and the other day she asked me to like and follow them.  It is helping kids but with a jesus component.  She has a list of things that she thinks are wrong with the kids today.  One is that the average kid in her area spends about 1 hour a week (this is to long for me!).  I find myself not wanting to do what she asked me to do because of the religious component!  I hate not supporting her youth group, but I can't do it with the religious slant!!  I surprised myself that I am that hardcore and its scary!  What would you guys do?  I have found a way to feel comfortable if asked about religion.  I just tell them that I DO NOT BELIEVE IN ANYTHING SUPERNATURAL.  Is this bitching out?  I don't want to hurt any feelings, so I ignore her invitations to follow her group.  I Need Help and this is the only place that I feel comfortable!!  What would you do?

Comment by Joan Denoo on November 25, 2013 at 2:25pm

 

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