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Hang With Friends

Location: Earth
Members: 848
Latest Activity: 6 minutes ago

Come on in, pull up a chair!

Picture yourself spending some time with congenial friends, sharing your lives and pictures from your cell phones." They're curious about that cool game, song, movie, camping trip, art show, or other event that fascinated you. You talk about all kinds of stuff, poetry, styles, personal achievements, relationships, and bad days. You can share your inner child, and laugh together. They sympathetically listen to your feelings about serious topics like politics or climate change, even when they don't agree.

Personal validation comes from paying attention to one another, giving more than you get. Everyone respects you and themselves, despite our amazing range of personal tastes and interests. They'll tell you they don't agree with an idea or behavior without implying you're a bad person or somehow deficient. It's an "I'm OK, You're OK" kind of fellowship, where nobody tries to make himself look better by picking on somebody else.

Nobody here is into mind games. A discussion started with a loaded guilt-throwing question will be deleted.

This group is not intended to compete with other groups on topics they cover but to "fill in the cracks." Whenever a discussion dwells at length on a topic for which there's an existing group, we urge you to provide members a link to that group to continue along their tangent.

A comment is a shout-out, which will get lost in a few days, because the comment wall is just a random stack.

Please start a discussion to share stories, photos, and videos. Replies will pop up in your "latest activity" and a conversation can develop from the feelings and thoughts you contributed. Groups are built on discussions.

Discussion Forum

Seth Andrews - The Copycats: How Christianity Steals The Best Ideas

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Soren Sagan on Wednesday. 9 Replies

Many of us have observed or learned how christianity shamelessly borrows from other sources to bolster its position and show off its supposed wonderfulness.  Well, Seth Andrews of The Thinking Atheist podcast has compiled some of the more modern-day…Continue

Tags: steal, borrow, copycat, The Thinking Atheist, Seth Andrews

Finding Your Roots

Started by Randall Smith. Last reply by Chris G Dec 15. 9 Replies

I've been into genealogy for a long time. It's fun, especially with internet help, but increasingly frustrating. You see, I've hit "brick walls". And being a Smith doesn't make research any easier.Wouldn't you think I could find the death date and…Continue

Christmas: Behind the Curtain (The Thinking Atheist)

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by sk8eycat Dec 12. 11 Replies

Well, it's that time of year again.  Time to gird our loins, put on our battle armor and join the (dah-dah DAAAAAH!) WAR AGAINST CHRISTMAS!!! [groan!] Yeah, most of us have heard that crap before, probably too many times, in fact, how atheists are…Continue

Tags: Christmas, The Thinking Atheist, Seth Andrews

Secular and Reclaimed Winter Holiday Songs

Started by Grinning Cat. Last reply by sk8eycat Nov 26. 41 Replies

This is an appropriate day of the year for this subject...What are some of your favorite winter holiday songs?It would be especially good to share powerful new secular lyrics to tunes that have become associated with Christmas.…Continue

Tags: singing, lyrics, reclaimed, reclaiming, HumanLight

Aljam

Started by Randall Smith. Last reply by Grinning Cat Nov 24. 4 Replies

I'm not a news hound by any stretch, but I do like to stay informed about what's going on in the world. (I despise "local" news with all the reports of murders, robberies, fires, etc.)The national "evening" news shows really irritate me. I hate…Continue

Surreal, I haz it

Started by Ruth Anthony-Gardner. Last reply by Ruth Anthony-Gardner Nov 22. 79 Replies

Surreal, not just found in art.Continue

Tags: surreal

Comment Wall

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Comment by Joan Denoo on November 26, 2013 at 4:24pm

Having a nice husband and good father is very important and I don't mean to make light of the importance of those relationships. I am sorry to learn that church is their main contact with the outside world. 

Comment by Joan Denoo on November 26, 2013 at 4:22pm

Ouch, Patricia, five grandchildren can bring a lot of pleasure into one's life and it is too bad to miss out on that. It is really sad to think they will grow old not remembering times with you and your husband. Playing church doesn't offer much opportunity for imagination or questioning.

Three of my great-grandchildren came into our lives when they lost their mother to illness. Their daddy was overwhelmed and when I first met him, he looked like a deer caught in headlights. He has settled down nicely to his new combined family and the three children, all between 12 and 2 years old, were leary at first, very cautious about getting close.

I was recovering from heart surgery at the time and couldn't go exploring in the forest as I did with my own great-grandchildren, or make drums out of fallen logs,  or make things out of found items. So we started out by going outside after dark. I sat in a rocker, put a sheet over my head, shone a flashlight from my lap over my face, then started a ghost story. I passed the flashlight and sheet to the next child who told his/her part of the story, and we kept going around the circle until all the children added to the story. At first, those three couldn't do it at all. They just had no imagination. Over the four years since then, they tell the most fantastic stories. Really clever, full of imagination, very creative. 

Church stories are made up by adults and told to children who become passive learners. My goal with the little ones is to have them become creators, imaginers, and free thinkers. 

When my grandkids were little, I told them of the people I met on my research projects, and they told stories of their experiences and their friends. We also did "What if"" stories or "How come?" ones, or "Who is it?" or ... any topic that gets them imagining. 

Comment by Joan Denoo on November 26, 2013 at 3:58pm

Mindy, your cartoon didn't come onto my wall, but I was able to retrieve it in the email. 

Now here is an interesting situation. You are a guest in someone else's home; they give a blessing, my decision is to not close my eyes, not bow my head and not say "Amen". 

If I am the host, especially if children are at my table, I offer thanks to the farmers or gardeners who grew the food, and the source of grocer or farmers market. No heads bowed, no eyes closed, no amens. 

Sometimes I am questioned if that is a prayer and I respond that it is a statement of appreciation for all those who made our meal possible. 

Comment by Joan Denoo on November 26, 2013 at 3:31pm

The key element here, in both your cases, is you want to maintain relationships with the ones with whom you set limits. That is the appropriate, healthy and responsible thing to do. 

For myself, I have heard all the religion for more than one lifetime; I don't need any more information, I need to be free of the entanglement that happens when loved ones want me to be saved. I made the decision to set limits, if my conditions are violated, I block their communication and not seek to participate with them. 

Funny thing, I have talked about this before, most of the people that I blocked because they stepped over the line I set, have sought contact with me. I reassure them I am available if religion does not invade our relationships. If they have difficulty sorting out their feelings and needs, I can help them sort; I need no proselytizing. 

Whatever you decide, and for whatever reason, it is up to you to decide for you. Your decision is no one else's business.

If one feels stuck in a relationship that violates one's limits, that indicates there are mixed needs. Those internal conflicts need to be sorted out, a decision made, and then one is not a victim.  

Comment by booklover on November 26, 2013 at 3:10pm

Comment by booklover on November 26, 2013 at 3:09pm

Patricia, your husband sounds like mine.  I have to do this with my sister and her husband.  She claims to not be an xtian anymore, just believes there is a gawd.  HE KNOWS there is one, he's prejudiced against non-whites (Doesn't claim to be, just talks like he is and makes me FURIOUS), and he's FAR RIGHT -WING.  YUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  He's good to my sister and niece and nephew, and I want a relationship with them, so it's a GOOD THING we don't live in the same city and see each other very often!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Comment by Joan Denoo on November 26, 2013 at 2:52pm

Patricia, I am happy to learn you have time to investigate which computer will work best for you. There are lots of brands from which to choose. I look forward to learning what you decide. 

Have to keep these lines open to chat with this group. Never boring, always enlightening, and very often fun. 

Comment by Joan Denoo on November 26, 2013 at 2:49pm

Patricia, sounds as though you make a very responsible decision in this case. You want to keep the relationship with your daughter and grandchild and in order to do that you have to set limits on subject matter.

Good for you. You are not the villain in this situation; you know what you know and what you need. Taking care of yourself is essential for mental health. Listening to or participating in a conversation, such as religion, with them is of no interest to you and your line should be drawn. 

If you don't have choices, you become a victim. Because you do have choices, and because you have drawn the line, you are not a victim. You are a decent, wise and compassionate person. 

I support you 100%.

Comment by Joan Denoo on November 26, 2013 at 1:47pm

@Patricia, I asked Laura her recommendation and here is her response: 

"It sounds like your friend is at the point I was at in 2007 when I was "so done" with Microsoft computers. If she is interested in switching to Apple, the type of computer depends on her needs. Does she need portable or not. If portability is important to her then a Macbook is the way to go. If portability is not important then an iMac is a wonderful solution." Laura

Keep in mind that Laura has her own business designing web pages for professionals, her husband builds network systems for professionals. They have lots of experiences and knowledge. 

I hope you find what is right for you. I have MacBook that I use every day, an iMac that I use for designing/creating albums, and I still have an ancient Microsoft that I never use. It has old documents from years ago.  

Comment by booklover on November 26, 2013 at 1:46pm

SILENCE IMPLIES AGREEMENT!  ~ I agree Joan!

 

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