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Hang With Friends

Location: Earth
Members: 838
Latest Activity: 5 minutes ago

Come on in, pull up a chair!

Picture yourself spending some time with congenial friends, sharing your lives and pictures from your cell phones." They're curious about that cool game, song, movie, camping trip, art show, or other event that fascinated you. You talk about all kinds of stuff, poetry, styles, personal achievements, relationships, and bad days. You can share your inner child, and laugh together. They sympathetically listen to your feelings about serious topics like politics or climate change, even when they don't agree.

Personal validation comes from paying attention to one another, giving more than you get. Everyone respects you and themselves, despite our amazing range of personal tastes and interests. They'll tell you they don't agree with an idea or behavior without implying you're a bad person or somehow deficient. It's an "I'm OK, You're OK" kind of fellowship, where nobody tries to make himself look better by picking on somebody else.

Nobody here is into mind games. A discussion started with a loaded guilt-throwing question will be deleted.

This group is not intended to compete with other groups on topics they cover but to "fill in the cracks." Whenever a discussion dwells at length on a topic for which there's an existing group, we urge you to provide members a link to that group to continue along their tangent.

A comment is a shout-out, which will get lost in a few days, because the comment wall is just a random stack.

Please start a discussion to share stories, photos, and videos. Replies will pop up in your "latest activity" and a conversation can develop from the feelings and thoughts you contributed. Groups are built on discussions.

Discussion Forum

Local Color in the Neighborhood

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Plinius on Saturday. 24 Replies

It's getting on toward peak color season here on the North Coast.  I'm lucky enough to have some truly beautiful examples of it literally right outside my door and a short walk around.  So I thought I'd break out the Olympus and record some…Continue

Tags: trees, local color, autumn, fall

Fall is already here--do you celebrate the holiday season?

Started by Deidre. Last reply by Nick Bottom Oct 15. 25 Replies

I took a brief hiatus from here, and decided to come back. I've missed you guys, and hope you are all doing well. Hard to believe that fall is around the cornerThere's not much of a fall where I live. Having said that, I love Halloween. I don't…Continue

I put my trust in my cancer fighting teams

Started by Joan Denoo. Last reply by Joan Denoo Oct 6. 16 Replies

So, something made you ill,then God waited until many people petitioned him,then made you well again.Something makes people around the world illthen no amount of people petitioning Godmakes them well again.Cancer made me ill,I want no one to…Continue

blu (TheraminTrees)

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Loren Miller Oct 3. 10 Replies

After what has seemed like a very long hiatus, TheraminTrees is BACK.  No great surprise, not only hasn't he lost a step, he may actually have gained a few!  That said, may I present:bluContinue

Tags: blu, YouTube, TheraminTrees

Don't leave your keys on your desk: company copies keys from photos for $6

Started by Grinning Cat. Last reply by Grinning Cat Sep 23. 8 Replies

"Keys Duplicated" will make a copy of your house key from smartphone photos, for anyone with a credit card.…Continue

Tags: stealth key copying, stealth key duplication, key copying, key copying from photos, stealth

Optical Illusions

Started by Ruth Anthony-Gardner. Last reply by sk8eycat Sep 22. 64 Replies

This one seems a bit creepy, like the middle one shouldn't be able to change rotation like that. from Cheezburger.comContinue

Comment Wall

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You need to be a member of Hang With Friends to add comments!

Comment by The Flying Atheist on June 22, 2014 at 11:38am

Comes with only six cats?  I"m sure additional cats are sold separately.  They'll make great stocking-stuffers.  

Comment by Ian Mason on June 22, 2014 at 11:09am

Good one, Carl. I like it a lot.

I know it's midsummer but here's something some of you might want for Xmas.

Comment by The Flying Atheist on June 22, 2014 at 2:18am

Comment by Plinius on June 22, 2014 at 1:11am

There's no cure for Asperger's. The best you can do is train children with Asperger's so they can handle contact with people better and understand their own problems.

Comment by sk8eycat on June 21, 2014 at 10:13pm

Joan, as far as I have been able to find out, Asperger's is considered a form of autism, and any treatment to deal with it effectively has to begin in early childhood. 

My sister was not ever affectionate with anyone, except animals, even as an infant.  And you know that back then autistic-type behavior was usually blamed on the mother....

She has never been on a date with anyone of any gender....never worked outside the home because she can't get along with people.  There were all sorts of problems, beginning with the first day of kindergarten when she crawled out a window and walked the single block home.  And screamed and carried on when Mother tried to take her back.

I just try to stay out of her way as much as possible, and I do make an effort to thank her when she does something to help me.  She does most of the heavy work around here now because my back and legs are so weak. 

I'm just going through a phase when I'm so tired of it all.

Comment by Joan Denoo on June 21, 2014 at 4:44pm

I assume you have researched to see if there are any treatments of Rx for this condition. I have never encountered it and haven't a clue as to how to live a healthier, happier life given the reality of having an Aspie to care for.

I certainly do hear your frustrations. Skills that help you build emotional barriers is the first step, at least as far as I can imagine and finding peace and equanimity while facing such a challenge requires conscious effort.

We live in a very interesting time in the history of human existence on Earth. We live on the cutting edge of change from the old values of rules created by power over. As children we learned how to either use power or submit to power as we developed. 

The new epic, the Anthropocene requires new skills, and especially when faced with challenges such you both face. The ancient tribal system has ended, when families took care of their own and the tribe assisted. During the last epic, we experimented with ways government took over tribal duties. During the Roosevelt years, a new care for people like the aspies grew and helped families cope. That all began to unravel and both Democrats and Republicans made it unravel faster in USA than Europe. 

So, somehow we have to recognize that we need new and different ways of being in community. It is terribly difficult for a brother or a sister to manage without community help. We can find better ways and we can be part of that new epic. 

Comment by Plinius on June 21, 2014 at 3:53pm

You should be proud of yourself, Sk8eycat, for living with an Aspie and for enduring what you can't escape from.

Your description is clearly of Asperger's, as far as I can see.

Comment by sk8eycat on June 21, 2014 at 2:57pm

Ever since I read the symptoms of Asperger's, I have been convinced that my (now) 69-year-old sister was born with it.  She's never been diagnosed because when we were children, nobody had ever heard of it, and she has been a JeeHoover's Witless since she was in her early 20s, and they don't "believe" in any kind of mind therapy. It's too late for her, anyway.

I have NEVER heard her say "please" or "thank you" to anybody for anything.  She hasn't had any tantrums lately, but she still occasionally whines about a 1st Grade teacher who she claims singled her out for ridicule.  It hasn't sunk into her mind that I had the same teacher when I was in 1st Grade, and she was that way to everybody.

My sister isn't stupid; she has a memory like a steel trap, but she focuses on trivia most of the time.

As for "sentimental children's shows,"  YESSSSS! 

I had always promised myself that I would find a way to "leave the building" as soon as Mother no longer needed me, but it's been 20 years, and I'm still breathing.  Today I'm not very happy about that.  Nor am I proud of myself.

Comment by Plinius on June 21, 2014 at 12:45pm

 Neglect or overprotection by a parent creates scar tissue that lasts a lifetime.

You saw that right, Joan, it lasts a lifetime, but there are ways to go on and flourish. Thanks for your love and support, but don't make me bigger than I am - I might blush!

And as you say: on to the tasks at hand!

Comment by Joan Denoo on June 21, 2014 at 11:44am

Chris, these complexities hurt at such a deep level. Neglect or overprotection by a parent creates scar tissue that lasts a lifetime. Your care and concern and respect for your husband is well placed and you share his burden with good sense. Yes, the questions touch into a deep place and your answer is not long. It appears you read the situation well and make a difference in your husband's life.

Growing up in a mentally healthy environment can be a rare thing, and replacing the dysfunction with well thought out remedies and caring action helps to bring about a better future.

Thank you for your honesty, and for your great heart. We all benefit by having people around us such as yourself. Know that you are not alone, and that we support you in any way we can.

OK! Now on to the tasks at hand.

 

 

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