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Hang With Friends

Location: Earth
Members: 823
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Picture yourself spending some time with congenial friends, sharing your lives and pictures from your cell phones." They're curious about that cool game, song, movie, camping trip, art show, or other event that fascinated you. You talk about all kinds of stuff, poetry, styles, personal achievements, relationships, and bad days. You can share your inner child, and laugh together. They sympathetically listen to your feelings about serious topics like politics or climate change, even when they don't agree.

Personal validation comes from paying attention to one another, giving more than you get. Everyone respects you and themselves, despite our amazing range of personal tastes and interests. They'll tell you they don't agree with an idea or behavior without implying you're a bad person or somehow deficient. It's an "I'm OK, You're OK" kind of fellowship, where nobody tries to make himself look better by picking on somebody else.

Nobody here is into mind games. A discussion started with a loaded guilt-throwing question will be deleted.

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Discussion Forum

Descartes' OTHER Job

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Luara yesterday. 4 Replies

Trying to keep your head above water financially as a philosopher must have been hard for Rene Descartes.  Got to make ends meet SOMEHOW, so...!Continue

Tags: Descartes

The Party of Lincoln Goes South (Betty Bowers)

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Ruth Anthony-Gardner yesterday. 1 Reply

And so they have, in a big way, since Lincoln did his thing 150 years ago.  This business hasn't escaped the attention of American's Best Christian, either, and Ms. Bowers has no problem in holding forth with observations of her own about this…Continue

Tags: south, GOP, Republican, Betty Bowers

Surreal, I haz it

Started by Ruth Anthony-Gardner. Last reply by booklover Apr 14. 75 Replies

Surreal, not just found in art.Continue

Tags: surreal

Poem - "Oh, Wait..."

Started by Loren Miller. Last reply by Luara Apr 11. 7 Replies

Before you ask, no, I didn't write this.  I discovered it in a comment on a Discovermagazine.com piece which…Continue

Tags: poem

Curious: Has anyone read the novel "Christian Nation"?

Started by Brent Feeney. Last reply by Plinius Apr 10. 11 Replies

So I've been thinking about this some lately, and I wanted to see what your thoughts were:I read a novel last fall that was making the rounds of Atheist blogs and what not called "Christian Nation", which is part alternative history and part…Continue

Stop the Religious Right. Four Steps You Can Take, Sean Faircloth.

Started by Joan Denoo. Last reply by Joan Denoo Apr 9. 2 Replies

Thanks to Grinning Cat via Loren Miller led me to this additional video by Sean Faircloth. He provides positive and powerful examples of thinking and acting. Continue

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Comment by Napoleon Bonaparte on February 24, 2014 at 9:39pm

Comment by sk8eycat on February 24, 2014 at 4:34pm

Chris, you are beyond being able to relax on your own, especially if your heart rate is out of control.  Can't your GP give you something, a mild tranquilizer, to help you get through this stressful period?  So many people think "tranquilizers = evil" but at times we do need more help than our bodies can provide, and I think that's what's happening to you (even though I'm half a world away...almost).  I took care of both my parents at home while they were going through all kinds of medical hell...at the same time, and there were days when I wanted to run away...and leave no forwarding address.  I still feel that way when my sister's autism/Asperger's gets on my nerves, but I can't.  No place to run to, and no car to get me to one.  I'm stuck here.  And I do get occasional chemical help (I don't drink, so I get an Rx for a very mild relaxer, and am looking into herbal remedies.)

In the meantime, I AM thinking of you, wishing someone in your family would realize it's NOT YOUR JOB  to do everything.  And it's NOT YOUR FAULT that you aren't Superwoman.  Nobody is.

Adding my cyber-hugs to Mindy's {{{{{Chris}}}}}  And many purrs and head-bonks from my two lazy cats.  (How does one type a head-bonk?  >^..^<)

Comment by booklover on February 24, 2014 at 3:40pm
Oh Chris! I'm sorry about all that stress! You are right, what a stupid diagnosis from your doctor. I wish I lived by you and could literally take some of your workload from you. All I can offer is a sympathetic ear, and cyber-hugs!!! {{{{{}}}}}
Comment by Idaho Spud on February 24, 2014 at 1:14pm

Chris, I'm sorry about your stress-load.  

I would ask if you can delegate, but that's probably as stupid as your GP's suggestion.  Plus, I hate delegating.  I like things done my way.

I am learning my limit however.  When I reach it, I just refuse to do anymore, despite people thinking I'm lazy.

Comment by Plinius on February 24, 2014 at 10:33am

How I hate being weak! It has been a load of extra work of course, organising for brother-in-law, cleaning out his apartment, taking care of his cat, making everything ready for a move to a home for people with non innate brain damage, washing - have you noticed  how hospital staff find the woman in the patient's family and give her ten kilograms of washing? - visiting the patient, have endless talks with psychologists and social workers. I took the load of course, together with husband - till last week. My heartrate went up to a point where I couldn't sleep anymore, I'm nauseous and dizzy and I've spent the weekend in bed, lying awake and crying when someone says something kind to me. I can manage this, but I really don't know how to manage the extra work. The stupid GP says that I should relax; what a wonderful diagnosis...

Comment by Idaho Spud on February 24, 2014 at 10:23am

Ian, I like your "Screw it, I'm gardening" picture.

Comment by Ian Mason on February 24, 2014 at 9:05am

Joan: first, I agree with Mindy and second, I have 3 sets of skills that have been of less and less use as time has gone on (printer, B.A. lit and care worker) I was already too old to use the B.A. when I'd finished it at the age of 28, most printing work in Europe has now been moved to Poland or the Baltic states (no unions, low pay) and the current financial crisis is causing huge cuts at floor level in care work while the nunber of bureaucrats and "consultants" increases. At age 57 I would never get a place in any new training and am not attractive to employers. The truth is that for working class people in our times you can't win and without a good union you can't break even.

Comment by booklover on February 24, 2014 at 8:40am

Joan, I agree with you about people that don't apply themselves in school, but we have to remember that some kids CAN'T apply themselves in school.  Some kids have horrible lives at home with unsupportive parents, not enough food to eat to be able to perform at school, a low IQ, etc.  I saw lots of those kids when I worked at my kids' grade school as a para-professional, and as a tutor,  and even helping in the lunchroom.  Not everyone can take the initiative, etc.  It's all they can do to get through life.  I don't think that means they should be taken advantage of, or treated like dirt by their employers.

My husband is a Teamster, and works really hard, and makes, for where we live, a VERY good living.  My father-in-law was in the UAW and worked for Chrysler, not on the line, but as a master mechanic, and moved his way up.  Both of those Unions have been wonderful for our family anyway.

Comment by sk8eycat on February 24, 2014 at 4:29am

Joan, what about highly-educated people who are let go when the frantic rush is over?...I'm thinking of all the aerospace workers at Douglas and other companies who were laid off when Tricky Dick cut the funding for the Apollo program while he was talking to Armstrong and Aldrin on the moon.  Many of them ended up driving cabs and mopping hospital floors...some for years.  There just weren't enough jobs in their specialties to go around.

A few managed to get into other fields...the Bird Respirator (that little green thing that isn't used much anymore) was invented by a couple of guys who worked on space suit life support.

And when people with PhDs end up driving cabs,  or working as janitors, or pumping gas, what happens to the people who only know how to drive cabs or mop floors?  And gas stations started closing by the dozens about then, too.

IMO we are over-breeding...there aren't as many good jobs to go around as there were 50 years ago.  I used to do manual bookkeeping after I quit skating...one person using QuickBooks, or some other program, can do in one day what it took me a week or more to do manually (plus typing out all the P&Ls and relevant tax returns...on a manual typewriter!)  I am obsolete.  Totally.

I did sort of learn one bookkeeping system almost 20 years ago... M.A.S.90...it was hideously complex, but if you did everything right, it not only kept the books in balance, but printed accounts payable checks, AND figured the payroll and printed those checks, too.  But if you made a mistake, it took an act of congress to reverse it out and start over. 

My employer treated me like a recalcitrant 3-year old.  I stuck it out for a year because I needed the money; during that year three other, younger, smarter women came in and worked alongside me (it was a very small office) and all three quit in tears.  I didn't quit in tears, but I had already cleaned out my desk and was just waiting.  When the Revolving B*tch started in on me one afternoon, I just took my key to the office off my key ring flipped it in the middle of the room, and said "Goodbye.".And walked out the door.

She had the nerve to call me two days later to ask if I was still going to baby-sit her cocker spaniel that weekend.  I had no arguments with Beanie, so I did...as long as I didn't have to see Mrs. B*tch.  Her husband met me and paid me.

As far as I know there are no unions for "white collar" workers in small offices.

Comment by Joan Denoo on February 24, 2014 at 12:32am

Felaine, what a life you have had! It must have been exciting and I imagine you met many different types of people. 

 

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