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Comment by booklover on January 9, 2013 at 6:27am

Thanks for telling me your story Felaine!  That must've been so hard.  My 'father' was the handsome, fun, popular guy in high school.  The problem was that he never grew up.  Couldn't handle having responsibilities.  My Grandma made excuses for him (her favorite) his whole life.  He partied his whole life and then died from it.  My Mom said the first 4 years with me he was a wonderful parent when he was with me.  She said he was fun-loving (obviously!), caring, funny, open-minded, a prankster, etc.  Just couldn't handle taking care of himself even.  His whole life he couldn't.  He would always say he loved us, through phone-calls at my Grandparents house, and then I talked on the phone with him once when I was an adult.  He told my cousin, on his death-bed, that he really loved us.  Ummm, he didn't even know us!!!!  I never felt sad, never cared.  I did wish he wouldn't have been the way he was, but he was, so that was that!  I had a very stable home with one very stable Mom, and 2 sets of stable Grandparents.  That's life!  My kids have had the same parents their entire childhood, my husband and I have been married for 25 years TODAY! lol.  They have always lived in the exact same home, etc.  Boring! :)  I hope I am making sense too!  My husband is up since 5:30 fixing the furnace, so I got up too!

Hope everyone has a good Wednesday!  ~ Melinda

Comment by sk8eycat on January 9, 2013 at 12:16am

Well, I've been awake for 36+ hours now, and still don't feel sleepy...but I'm tired!  And not making much sense.  Just thought I'd check in and let y'all know I'm reading your posts, laughing at (and printing) all the silly animal pics, and I really do appreciate all your "welcome back" notes and stuff.

To Melinda...my biggest problem with my dad's drinking was that for the first 10 years of my life, he was my hero.  He was a very intelligent man, and he was interested in a lot of different things....boating, astronomy, parrots, cats, books.  On my 6th birthday he took me to the library, showed the clerk my birth certificate, and voila...I had my very own library card! 

I didn't notice that his drinking was out of control till I was 12 or 13, but mother said it started when I was in 5th grade.  Anyway, he just gradually became a stupid stumblebum...mostly only at home. I was ashamed to have my friends come to our house (so we gathered at their homes), and when I started dating in high school I NEVER ONCE introduced any of my boyfriends to him. Never even let them come to the door. I would wait outside for my dates to pick me up.  I didn't want anyone to see him almost passed out on the sofa or trying to be sociable, but slurring his words, obviously drunk.  (This was the 1950s...."Father Knows Best" time.)

Joining Holiday a few weeks after graduation was such a relief!  I didn't have to pretend anymore because we never played anywhere within 1,000 miles of SoCal. (We toured mostly in the midwest and the deep south, and ended the tours by playing Mexico City for a whole month! We loved THAT!)

I was on the road when there was one of those "confrontations" here, and he was dragged, kicking and screaming (well...not really, but reluctantly) to one of those drying-out hospitals.  It worked for him, but I think even today those places have only about a 50% success rate. If that.

But he was sober. So I came home and went to work for him....he had a small bookkeeping and tax preparation practice.  I was always rotten in arithmetic in school, but with a good old Addo-X, I found that balancing ledgers and reconciling bank statements could be fun.  I've always liked solving puzzles, and that's what it feels like to me, even now.

Years and years later, after he died, I finally figured out why he always refused to have anything to do with AA...I'm pretty sure he was a closeted atheist.  Mother, raised in the buybull belt, was the only one who talked about god and Jeebus and heaven and hell, and dragged me to Sunday school when I was little.

That's my story, and I'm sticking to it. 

 

Comment by Patricia on January 8, 2013 at 8:04pm

Not for awhile yet Steph, but thanks anyway.

Comment by Steph S. on January 8, 2013 at 6:09pm

I love that booklover!!

I am taking it for my collection.

You are right Melinda (booklover) you should not care what others think about you.

Congrats on your anniversary Patricia.

Comment by booklover on January 8, 2013 at 2:38pm

Here's a picture describing how we feel when others have a bad opinion of us. LOL

Comment by booklover on January 8, 2013 at 2:37pm

Thanks Patricia, realistic is a better word!  I'm 45 now and I'm so over caring what people think of me!  I can't believe how much I cared when I was younger.  That saying is SO true that youth is wasted on the young!

Grinning Cat, I feel like we're all getting to know each other better also!  Real friends!  The internet does have some very great uses!~ Melinda

Comment by Grinning Cat on January 8, 2013 at 2:11pm

Tony, I like the caterpillar/caterfly!

Felaine, Ruth, Melinda, I appreciate your stories, and feel like I too am getting to know you better.

When you have genuine caring and affection, compatibility in bed is a wonderful bonus!

... I'm lucky to have found a lot of much nicer guys. And smart enough to give back the engagement rings of the first two prospects, when their true nature showed through. Never regretted those decisions. My second husband has been the real keeper.

Ruth, that sounds like creating your own luck!

Comment by Patricia on January 8, 2013 at 1:15pm

Oh Sk8ey, that's a worry. 

Not cold Melinda......realistic!!!!

I'm rather cold about lots of things & don't give a damn about what people think of me over it.

I was married at 19, & we're coming up to 47 years, as long as my husband stays on the up side of the grass. 

Comment by Joseph Corder on January 8, 2013 at 11:19am

Your welcome Flying Atheist!

Comment by The Flying Atheist on January 8, 2013 at 10:28am

Thanks for the John Lennon quote, Joseph.  I like it.  If there's one thing I'm good at, it's relaxing and wasting time.  I have a sneaky suspicion that I'm going to enjoy retirement when it happens. 

Sk8eycat, nice to have you back.  Always great to hear from you.  :)

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