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Personal validation comes from paying attention to one another, giving more than you get. Everyone respects you and themselves, despite our amazing range of personal tastes and interests. They'll tell you they don't agree with an idea or behavior without implying you're a bad person or somehow deficient. It's an "I'm OK, You're OK" kind of fellowship, where nobody tries to make himself look better by picking on somebody else.
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Comment by Joan Denoo on October 6, 2012 at 11:12am I need to clarify one thing about the calico cats. I had each one spayed after their first litter, kept the calico baby and when they proved to not be good mothers I had them spayed and that went on for three or four generations. No disinterested mother had a second litter. Thus, Calico I, II, III. So, I never had more than two mother cats and her kittens, and on a military base, with people moving in and out all the time, there was a lot of demand for cats. I don't know about dogs. We didn't have a mice problem, and cats even took care of the scorpions and spiders for us. I could never understand how a cat could eat a poisonous spider, but they did.
Comment by Idaho Spud on October 6, 2012 at 10:35am Interesting story Joan.
Comment by Tony Carroll on October 6, 2012 at 5:55am
Comment by sk8eycat on October 6, 2012 at 4:12am Halloween has always been my favorite holiday, too. But living with a JW makes it difficult now that I'm unable to run to the door and hand out the treats. The JW sits out back by the pool so she won't be "contaminated."
When I was in Holiday, we had FAAAAAABulous Halloween parties. The company had nothing to do with them; we did all the work ourselves, including a "floor show" that was a parody of that year's production. LOLz all over the place.
Comment by Ruth Anthony-Gardner on October 6, 2012 at 12:42am I kinda see Yosemite Sam in the black orchid. Napoleon Bonaparte, *yuch!* that's not what I had in mind by "Hang With Friends", it's supposed to be a casual form of Hang Around With Friends, as in keep company together.
Joan, I think both genetic and environmental factors influence mothering behavior. I would not have kept breeding a cat, no matter how pretty, who was a disinterested mom. To me a cat's behavior is most important, and beauty less so. Cute analogy.
Comment by Joan Denoo on October 6, 2012 at 12:06am A black cat wandered into our lives when we lived in Ft. Hood, TX. We named her Ebony and she joined another female calico cat who also wandered in and we named her Calico. They always came into heat together and Ebony would take excellent care of her babies, keeping fed, clean and cuddled. Calico immediately abandoned her nest and returned only long enough to have her milk sucked away, then she would leave. Her babies were in constant motion, always hungry, dirty, never cuddled. When Ebony's babies were a few weeks old, she would take care of her babies and then go to Ebony's baby, feed them, clean them and their nest and cuddle them. This went on for several pregnancies.
I tried to entice Calico into her nest by putting food and water in with her babies, but she would stay as short time as possible and then be off. She always had a Calico baby, so I would give mama Calico away and keep her daughter.
The same pattern repeated, Ebony and Calico would come into heat, have their babies and Ebony cared for her babies and Calico abandoned hers. I tried with Calico II to keep her in the nest, but she refused. When Calico III matured and had kittens, she abandoned them and Ebony adopted them. Calico III was barren and so the experiment ended and I gave away all the cats but Ebony. She continued to have a few more litters and then became a crotchety old lady. I had her spayed and she was a young, frisky, playful cat again. Kind of like a human female who gets worn out having babies.
Obviously, I contributed to the overpopulation of cats at Ft Hood, but there was always someone who wanted the babies. When Calico I proved to be a poor mother I wanted to see if I could break the pattern. No, I could not.
Is motherhood learned or inherited?
Comment by Tony Carroll on October 5, 2012 at 10:03pm
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