Picture yourself spending some time with congenial friends, sharing your lives and pictures from your cell phones." They're curious about that cool game, song, movie, camping trip, art show, or other event that fascinated you. You talk about all kinds of stuff, poetry, styles, personal achievements, relationships, and bad days. You can share your inner child, and laugh together. They sympathetically listen to your feelings about serious topics like politics or climate change, even when they don't agree.
Personal validation comes from paying attention to one another, giving more than you get. Everyone respects you and themselves, despite our amazing range of personal tastes and interests. They'll tell you they don't agree with an idea or behavior without implying you're a bad person or somehow deficient. It's an "I'm OK, You're OK" kind of fellowship, where nobody tries to make himself look better by picking on somebody else.
Nobody here is into mind games. A discussion started with a loaded guilt-throwing question will be deleted.
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Comment by Ruth Anthony-Gardner on October 6, 2012 at 12:42am I kinda see Yosemite Sam in the black orchid. Napoleon Bonaparte, *yuch!* that's not what I had in mind by "Hang With Friends", it's supposed to be a casual form of Hang Around With Friends, as in keep company together.
Joan, I think both genetic and environmental factors influence mothering behavior. I would not have kept breeding a cat, no matter how pretty, who was a disinterested mom. To me a cat's behavior is most important, and beauty less so. Cute analogy.
Comment by Joan Denoo on October 6, 2012 at 12:06am A black cat wandered into our lives when we lived in Ft. Hood, TX. We named her Ebony and she joined another female calico cat who also wandered in and we named her Calico. They always came into heat together and Ebony would take excellent care of her babies, keeping fed, clean and cuddled. Calico immediately abandoned her nest and returned only long enough to have her milk sucked away, then she would leave. Her babies were in constant motion, always hungry, dirty, never cuddled. When Ebony's babies were a few weeks old, she would take care of her babies and then go to Ebony's baby, feed them, clean them and their nest and cuddle them. This went on for several pregnancies.
I tried to entice Calico into her nest by putting food and water in with her babies, but she would stay as short time as possible and then be off. She always had a Calico baby, so I would give mama Calico away and keep her daughter.
The same pattern repeated, Ebony and Calico would come into heat, have their babies and Ebony cared for her babies and Calico abandoned hers. I tried with Calico II to keep her in the nest, but she refused. When Calico III matured and had kittens, she abandoned them and Ebony adopted them. Calico III was barren and so the experiment ended and I gave away all the cats but Ebony. She continued to have a few more litters and then became a crotchety old lady. I had her spayed and she was a young, frisky, playful cat again. Kind of like a human female who gets worn out having babies.
Obviously, I contributed to the overpopulation of cats at Ft Hood, but there was always someone who wanted the babies. When Calico I proved to be a poor mother I wanted to see if I could break the pattern. No, I could not.
Is motherhood learned or inherited?
Comment by Tony Carroll on October 5, 2012 at 10:03pm
Comment by The Flying Atheist on October 5, 2012 at 8:54am Thanks for all the fun posts, everyone. I enjoy catching up. Halloween is my favorite holiday....always has been. Even as a kid I loved making homemade decorations and reading/watching/listening to anything scary or ghostly. Still do!! I guess I can honestly say that purchasing vintage Halloween decorations from eBay in recent years has been my attempt to re-live the spirit and era of my childhood.
Comment by booklover on October 5, 2012 at 8:38am Grinning Cat, you are right! :)
Comment by booklover on October 5, 2012 at 8:35am Tony cool orchid! Hope you get some time to yourself this weekend!
That's cool black is your favorite color Steph! I'll bet you have a lot of fun decorating for Halloween! I gave my daughter a bunch of our Halloween stuff to use in her college apartment, and she put the rest up around our living room last weekend.
I hope everyone has a great Friday and relaxing weekend!~ Melinda
Comment by Tony Carroll on October 5, 2012 at 7:09am
Comment by Ian Mason on October 5, 2012 at 6:41am Am I the only one who sees Yosemite Sam in the black orchid?
Poor young men. What were they supposed to have done? Being gay is the first thing that springs to mind.
Lillie replied to Joe S.'s discussion Intergroup Intelligentsia - The Thought Police in the group Atheists, Addictions, 12 Step Recovery, and Alternatives
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