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Comment by Steph S. on May 5, 2012 at 6:30pm

On a happier note ... Happy Cinco De Mayo.

Comment by Pamela on May 5, 2012 at 10:40am

My father-in-law died last summer, and although he never made his beliefs known he did leave specific instructions for the disposal of his remains.  His instructions started with "call someone to haul my carcass away" and didn't get much more serious after that!!  He wanted a cremation and burial next to his wife and even wrote "don't be afraid to go cheap on a container, it's just going in the ground).  No clergy, no wake, etc.  His two sons and their wives stood in complete silence while the small box was buried.  Nicest funeral I ever attended!

Comment by sk8eycat on May 5, 2012 at 10:23am

Ruth, what is so not-green is/are the fancy metal caskets...our molecules should be returned to the Earth that nourished us, but most "civilized" places won't allow that.  It's even against the law to bury dead pets in your own yard...so we don't tell anybody when we do it.

One friend still has the ashes of her first Chow in a plain brown wrapper that she puts under her Solstice tree every year.  She says he always took such pleasure in lifting his leg on her holiday decorations....

Comment by Ruth Anthony-Gardner on May 4, 2012 at 11:58pm

The Neptune Society option is interesting. I just asked that my useable organs parts be donated, the rest used by a medical school, and what was left could be disposed of the cheapest way that's legal. Taking up a cemetery plot seems so not-green. The ocean is greener.

Comment by sk8eycat on May 4, 2012 at 11:26pm

I don't know if the Neptune Society is a national organization or not, but I joined and paid in full more than 10 years ago.  They take care of the cremation and then scatter the ashes at sea.  They give you wallet cards with instructions for EMTs and hospitals, and papers with more complete instructions to keep at home. 

I told my Jehovah's Witless sister that she could just flush my ashes down the toilet with the cat poop if she wanted to. I don't care.

I think my dad was a closeted atheist, and some years before he died he told Mother that he just wanted to be cremated and be tossed in the ocean with no services, but mother forgot to tell me until after I'd made the mistake of having his body sent to Forest Lawn because I thought he'd bought a plot there.  (I'd seen receipts and cancelled checks when I worked in his accounting office.  Turns out he sold the plot back to them, but I didn't know that, and by the time it was obvious that he was going to die, he'd had a massive stroke, and couldn't speak.) We had to go through a lot of phone calls and extra paperwork to have them do things the way he wanted, and it cost a lot more than the Neptune Society. 

Dad's sister and her husband were offended that we didn't even have a memorial service...my uncle was "a son of a preacher-man."  He always had to pray over his meals, no matter where he ate.

I did call Neptune when Mother died.  Almost 20 years ago!  Seems like yesterday.  She was a bit of a fundie, and got more so with age and illness, but she thought funerals were a waste of money, and god wouldn't care..

When our neighbors have lost a family member, I usually avoid the funeral and send a single white rose, or a white or pale pink phaleanopsis (SP?) orchid, in a bud vase to the house.

I also wear a MedicAlert bracelet (because I'm diabetic and allergic to morphine) that has "DNR" at the very top.  If/when I stop breathing, that's IT.

Comment by Patricia on May 3, 2012 at 3:09pm

So sad Jessica, but thankfuly the church thing was changed. Yes, I've thought long & hard about funerals etc., as I grew up next to a cemetary & seeing all the public grieving almost daily. NO THANKS!!!

I have put it into my will as well as my living will that there will be no funeral, religious deals, or anything whatsoever. I am donating my remains to the university & have the signed papers saying so. No matter how brainwashed my daughter became when she married a bybull thumper, I flat out told her there will be nothing like that when I die.....deal with it.  

Comment by Steph S. on May 3, 2012 at 11:14am

Well Jessica you could state in your will the kind of funeral or non-funeral you wish. I just want cremation .. no ceremony or nothing.

Comment by Jessica on May 3, 2012 at 10:57am

Thank you everyone!  Unfortunately, there was not a lot of money left for her to buried so there will only be a graveside service.  I feel selfish in being happy over this development but I will not have to sit in a church and I am thankful.  

My Father in law was an Atheist adn my mother in law comes from a fundie family with preachers and all.  He told her after he got terminally ill that she could have whatever funeral she would like for him.  So, they had an all out Christian one.  I sat there ill at what had happened.  Ii know when you die that is it but I will be damned that someone throw me a christian funeral in my memory.  I'm just saying...

Since she passed I thought a lot about funerals and christianity.  Anybody else had a similar situation? 

Comment by Steph S. on May 2, 2012 at 11:55pm

You're the only Atheist in your family Jonathan? Same here with me.

Comment by Steph S. on May 2, 2012 at 11:53pm

Sorry to hear about your aunt Jessica. My thoughts are with you!

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