Life offers many opportunities for health and flourishing and our bodies have all kinds of red flags it sends up to tell us something is wrong. Pay attention to those flags, they can save your health and your life.
I talked to a lady yesterday who had some front teeth missing, her complexion was aged, she had a very negative attitude about the whole CA thing. She became addicted to Rx drugs. I asked the usual questions any good counselor asks and when her children fledged her nest she reported being very depressed, used modern drugs and became addicted. When cancer developed her support system wasn't there for her. She lives far away and had to sit alone in the chemo room with no one to hold her hand. Her stories were ones of loneliness, no one to talk to, and she couldn't see an edge of a dark cloud. She made many phone calls to her local children asking them to come see her and none came. She called her brother and asked him fervently to come, he was too busy. She is now a part of our support system.
On the other side of me was a woman with a doting husband, in fact he helped me with my wires and tubes when I had to go to the bathroom. Can you imagine it, I had to ask for help from a nurse for a protocol for going to the bathroom, and she was right there when I needed her to teach me. Well, nothing to it, just unplug, get your balance after sitting for so long and then trot off to the potty. The contrast between these two ladies and the need for support flashes before my memory eyes.
Yes, we need support and I caution you on the kinds and qualities of your support. If you hear the "Killer" words or phrases in your support community, run do not walk from the sounds of their voices and seek out voices that are healthy and support flourishing. I spent twenty years of my professional life teaching in college, in battered women's shelters, boys ranches for out of control boys and I can support everything I am telling you with research and anecdotal evidence.
The Passive Gospel: any word, phrase, or sentence that states these ideas:
yield, pray, obey, submit, trust, forgive, turn the other cheek, love your abuser to the lord, be patient, you will not be given more than you can endure, crucify yourself in imitation of the crucified christ, rejoice in your crucifixion. These are Killer words and phrases.
Remember that pathetic little rat of a woman who went around with her hand out collecting money for the poor, sick and dying in India and around the Earth, raking in fortunes, and did not provide clean, healthy, nutritious food or potable water for these wretched lives, she handed her purses/sacks of gold to the church institution to buy more gold chalices, funny looking hats, silly regalia, even as she had doubts of the presence of god or the love of jesus. She believed lies, trusted delusions, and denied her own body telling her there was something terribly wrong with her thinking. Her delusions didn't hold up in the long run.
We engage in an unprecedented experiment and when the theories prove to be wrong, we throw them in the waste bin. When new information becomes available we observe the consequences and pay attention to effects. That is how cancer is managed, how life could be managed if we only have the tools to do the looking and thinking and acting.
The tools are there, they are to be questioned and examined for reliability and replicability and validity. We have brains as part of our equipment and we can use them to think critically, act out of personal experience and knowledge, speak clearly, precisely and welcome challenges and criticisms, and know that you have everything you need to find meaning and purpose in life, that you are born with an inborn sensitivity to know right from wrong because Homo sapiens is a social creature. We have to learn from our mistakes and healthy family life leads to healthy individual life. If the family is not healthy it is very difficult to learn healthy thinking and it is possible, not probable. Free your mind from delusions and denial.