Well, well, well, I have just read a very interesting article entitled "Disbelief Is Not a Choice": (http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/our-humanity-naturally/201109/d...). It offers a rather innovative approach to atheism I think. At least, it helps me figure out some things I couldn't put words on.
I'd love to hear what you guys think about it, if you agree with the author or not.
And I came from a fundie family: tried to believe to fit in and to make that god show himself. Same as you, I couldn't do it.
I was born in a Catholic family, not very religious, but at the time in that part of France, it was "natural" to baptize babies. So I was baptized, went to Sunday school and quickly realized something was wrong in those stories. I was already too rational I guess lol. Later on, when I was able to discuss that matter, I tried to at least understand what people exactly believed in - to no avail: none of the believers I tried to talk with (they were friends) could explain what they meant when using the word "god", they said that I should ask a nun or a priest... So I thought WTF??, these guys don't even know what they believe in, so that was it. I've never tried to discuss religion with religious people ever since.
In my case, it was definitely not a choice, but something obvious.
A thoughtful article. I especially liked
... personal secularity is primarily the result of brain function combined with access to knowledge, information, and a social setting allowing disbelief. Given the right conditions, the result will be an individual who does not accept supernatural explanations.
in general we find two interesting patterns with regard to the formation of religious belief and disbelief.
..., the major environmental factor that promotes disbelief (and discourages belief) tends to be accumulated knowledge, whereas the most significant environmental factor in promoting belief (and discouraging disbelief) tends to be family and social indoctrination.