LGBTQI atheists, nontheists, and friends

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LGBTQI atheists, nontheists, and friends

Nontheist lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and intersex people & friends.

Location: International
Members: 608
Latest Activity: 5 hours ago

Discussion Forum

Gay Marriage Steals Rights From God

Started by Pat. Last reply by James M. Martin Jun 28. 21 Replies

Obama quietly advances transgender rights

Started by Ruth Anthony-Gardner. Last reply by Sentient Biped Jun 23. 6 Replies

West End Girls - Suburbia

Started by Napoleon Bonaparte. Last reply by Napoleon Bonaparte May 16. 4 Replies

Finland's Gay Bondage Stamps

Started by Ruth Anthony-Gardner. Last reply by Joan Denoo Apr 23. 19 Replies

Utah's Governor Grinch

Started by Idaho Spud. Last reply by Idaho Spud Apr 18. 2 Replies

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Comment by Joan Denoo on March 3, 2014 at 1:06am

Oh! I accept your invitation to answer my own questions, but not tonight. I am too tired. Seems like a good project for tomorrow. Good night.

Comment by Sentient Biped on March 3, 2014 at 12:28am

Joan, those are interesting questions.  I suppose I could ask you the same.

As for support, it would be Ning.  We are pretty mutually supporting, but also give each other space.  He can be over-assertive - part of Chinese macho, I think - but he knows my limits, and is pretty much live and let live.  He doesn't understand some of my values but accepts that is who I am, and I do him as well.

I feel fully accepted on Nexus.  No other venue.  Never.  Is anyone ever fully accepted in a particular venue?  There are some individuals who accept and respect me, and it's mutual.  But that is the individuals, not the venue.

I don't know about people giving support.  I try to think of myself as an adult, and I shouldn't need support.  Obviously, that's not true, everyone needs a hand.  We all do.  But I try to be the strongest one in the room, emotionally, and give support to people who need it more.  If I am conscious when I die, my thought will be to tell the person I care about the most, go on and  have a good life, thank you for being so good and so kind, you really did do your best and I'm grateful.

Is anyone comfortable being who they are?  As what part?  As a gay man - relevant in this group - almost never.  As someone who is over-intellectual - almost never.  In my profession - almost never.  Are we supposed to be comfortable?  :-)  Probably saying too much there......   :-)

I don't know about what principles anyone could tease from my experiences that would be helpful to others!  The golden rule applies.  Stop and really listen to people whenever possible.  Nobody is perfect.  Ingersol's lines about happiness apply more than any other.  

You have never offended me or caused discomfort.  Never.  Thank you.

Comment by Joan Denoo on March 2, 2014 at 11:51pm

Daniel, where do you get your best support?

In what venue do you feel fully accepted?

Who are the people or groups who give you the support you need?

When are you most comfortable being who you are?

What principles can we tease out of your experiences that we can be helpful to others? 

How do I/we offend you or cause others discomfort? 

Comment by Sentient Biped on March 2, 2014 at 9:53pm

Comment by Patricia on February 23, 2014 at 11:43pm

The cousin always has his homes built.....huge, fancy, shmancy high end places for he & his wife....no kids. Not my cuppa that's for sure, I want comfort & something you don't need a long distance plan to be heard from one end to the other. They've lived from LA to St. Louis, to Phoenix, to Payson, building mansions each time. 

Comment by sk8eycat on February 23, 2014 at 11:14pm

I must say that Payson is a nice little town; I spent 2 weeks there dog-sitting for Al and his partner a few years ago, and met a lot of nice people.  It's at 5,000 ft, so the summer climate is usually mild, and they get some snow in the winter.  It's becoming a popular retirement area...certainly a LOT less expensive than California!  Many of the homes are factory-manufactured, but you can't tell just by looking at them.  Very sensible. And comfortable.

My cousins live in Winslow (as did my favorite aunt who died a few months ago...dammitall!); some of them bitch about the large number of Navajos that come into town from the reservation, but...good grief!  The Navajos were there first!

Comment by sk8eycat on February 23, 2014 at 10:55pm

NOTHING makes me angrier than bigotry and injustice!  I just don't know what I can do to stop it...feeling helpless also makes me mad. All I can do is write letters to editors, and sit here hissing and spitting.

Comment by sk8eycat on February 23, 2014 at 10:49pm

The big question is how the *bleep* do bigots tell who is gay, or whatever, unless they advertize what they are?  What if two (or any number of) businessmen go to a "working lunch" together; do they somehow have to prove they aren't gay before they can be seated and served?  How are they supposed to do that?

The whole thing is stupid.

I remember when Jesse Helms was carrying on about "family values" and anti-gay everything...he had NO idea how many gay and lesbian voters lived in North Carolina, or any other state.  Quite a few, actually...I know some of them....

All these idiots focus on is the syllable "SEX" in "homosexual" or "transsexual"...religious people are obsessed with everyone else's sex lives.  Fundies are today's version of puritans:

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
H. L. Mencken
Comment by Joan Denoo on February 23, 2014 at 10:00pm

Felaine, your story, and the one you shared with us through the film reveals a dark and ugly USA past, which sadly goes on. You are quite correct in the national hatred of atheist, non-believers of any stripe, and religions that don't stand upon the pedestal of Abraham. Hatred, bigotry, dogmatism, narrow-mindedness, all play their part in holding us back from the next leap forward in the human evolutionary journey. 

We are, without a doubt, at a cutting edge in history. A lot rides on the outcome, even life as we know it on Earth. If we remain shy, or afraid of being called names or having dirty tricks played on us, then we lose, automatically. The only way humanity can progress is for individuals who share a vision of justice and peace stand together in coalition. One person alone can submit to fear; a whole community caught in the talons of dominators means maintaining and perpetuating the status quo. 

Standing up before family, friends, the community and stating, "I am a nonbeliever; I do not see evidence of a god!" isn't really all that difficult ... long term. What is difficult is living under the shroud of any theism. 

Comment by Patricia on February 23, 2014 at 9:52pm

Payson is where my husband's cousin lives.

 

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