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‘Looking’ Invites Gay Men To Be Tourists To Gay Culture, Not Hostages
New York City Schools Implement Transgender Inclusion Guidelines
The Morning Pride: March 11, 2014
How One Vermont Town Tried To Force Out A Lesbian Couple
The Morning Pride: March 10, 2014
Sure, there are many biggoted gay people, but the danger is that preference can be mistaken for some ism. I am heavy set and I know that there are many who are not going to be attracted to me, but I do fine in the sex department. It is hurtfull, not when somone is not attracted to you, but when people, gay or straight, feel that it is ok to comment on the appearance of someone else.
I think Cory is an attractive guy, but I am not usually attracted to asians or black men. I like whites and hispanics, but I'm also not generally attracted to people with red hair, but I don't have an actual rule. It depends on the person.
When any group experiences a lot of prejudice and/or discrimination, it is sometimes difficult to separate those experiences from preference. Years ago, a black man was trying to pick me up in a bar and I was very polite and told him that I was with friends. He stated that it was because he was black. Well it was, but not based on racism, it was based on the fact that I don't have a strong sexual response to black men.
It would never occur to me to judge his appearance or comment in a negative way about him, because of the color of his skin. But, I am amazed over the insensitivity and lack of manners which some people exhibited when dealing with anyone who does not fit the "normal" standard of beauty.
Being a 52 yr old "bear" type, I often feel as if I'm treated as a fetish because I'm not 20, blonde, smooth, and a gym rat. All I can say is that we older more experienced men know things that those twinks haven't learned yet. So there!
Darren: Racism is the theory that the colour of someone's skin allows you to infer some behavioural trait or propensity.
I would add to that: ...or that race is a valid means to determine their value as a person or citizen.
DT: That said it might seem a bit shallow for appearance to be a deal breaker.
I certainly think a lot of people are shallow, and they treat good looks like a status symbol, as if they can only sleep with gorgeous people because it would be beneath them to do otherwise. However, I can't say that it is universally shallow. I don't like obesity at all. Not one bit. I like them lean and thin, without exception. I even tried to be with a bear once, and it was not working for me. But that preference has nothing to do with their value as a person.
Oddly enough, I'm increasingly bear-like myself, and seem to attract that type of man. Alas!
SB, thanks for the video of Cory Quach. I certainly think some gay people can be racist, or ageist, or whatever, and can be pretty rude about it. But I also see interracial couples and no one bats an eyelash over it.
Of course, not seeing what he has experienced, we can't say to what degree he has or has not experienced racism. However, I do know that sometimes people perceive racism out of fear of racism, as if their mind is primed to pick it out and then mistakes neutral comments / actions for racist ones. Just as we sometimes see homophobia when there actually isn't any.
Again, not knowing his experiences it is impossible to say exactly what is going on, but my comment is about people in general -- a human tendancy.
When I was young I didn't like Asian men at all, and I only liked white guys or black men who were light-skinned (or creme mocha, as we used to call it). Now, I'm almost exactly the opposite in my preferences. For many years I thought nearly exclusively of hispanic men. But now, not as much.
I do like some Japanese and Chinese men, but I don't generally like Vietnamese, Cambodian, or Malaysian men (or phenotype, perhaps?), as well as Hawaiians or Pacific Islanders, etc. But those preferences are not based in racist attitudes, just physical / sexual responses which are out of my control.
I think Cory is kind of cute, actually.
@SentientThanks for the video. I didn't realize there was discrimination like that against "Asians." To be completely honest, I never thought of them as people "of color," as the guy in the video referred to himself. It's hard for me to blame people for not being attracted to people of color, as my attraction definitely has limits too. Is it conditioned? Probably. Could it be overcome? Perhaps, but I have no real desire to change even if it could.
Sentient, you can read into it what you want, but his words are exactly how I feel. He doesn't just think "sexuality is diverse"; he thinks sexuality is so diverse that it can't be "reduced to binary terms." Even in the time of our discussion on here, I have included links that attack the construct validity of dichotomous sexual orientation, which is exactly what Vidal has done. It's kind of like pointing out the absurdity that anyone would be biologically exclusively attracted to one sex when sexuality is so complex.For the record, I do see how a man of your faith could interpret it differently, as if sexuality is so complex that it cannot be accurately defined by singling out one attribute like sex. Doing so might even be deceptive, but not necessarily untrue.
Thank you The Nerd. Just asked to be a member.
Thank you for posting. You are right, we get an interesting perspective looking at the past. We still have progress needed ahead, but we have come so far....
Hi all...first time I post here but watching these videos is making me feel not too bad about being teased in high school......really. I can't believe that was the way it was back then.
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