This is strange in many ways, and delightful at some levels.
A few days ago, Christian music star (apparently - I've never heard of her) Vicky Beeching, came out of the closet as gay. (I know, not politically correct, but that's her term here, not mine). In her interview, as a celibate, singing-nun-esque Lesbian, but still Lesbian.
Then all of a sudden there's this interview with arch-evil global hate-monger obsessed antigay former druggie Scott Lively.
What a naive woman - she thought the US was more open minded than the UK!
Anyway, it's a somewhat surreal, sometimes creepy, sometimes fun interview. Kind of like chocolate covered wasabi chips.
Stupid, weird and untrue things that Scott Lively says:
I don't want to enforce stereotypes, but when I look at him and hear him speak, to me my gaydar is telling me that he looks and sounds like a bitter, old queen. What a mess!
I don't think it is politially incorrect to call a homosexual woman "gay." Were you thinking that the thought police want you to say the L word? Men and woman are both gay if they are homosexual. I used to object to use of the word gay. It seemed to me it was wrong to take a perfectly good word for "happy" and forever make its use in traditional ways awkward. (Of course, the argument could be made that punsters could use "gay" in traditional ways with a subtext of queer, which incidentally is the word I prefer for all the sexual minorities.
Yes, I know the homophobic history of "queer" but in the dictionary it also means "different," and that is what I am: different. It's like saying heterosexual, homosexual, or "other." I am not fond of the alphabet soup of "lgbt.") But both women and men can be "gay." To me "gay" means a man or a woman who, exclusively, likes other men or women respectively. Just that. During the 60s, when Stonewall prompted all sorts of coming out "manifestos" one Carl Wittman wrote a piece, I think in Fag Rag, to the effect that it was not politically correct to come out saying you were "bisexual." Why not, i wondered, if that is what you are. Wittman's argument was that it was "a cop out" since it was rather like saying to a straight "I may be gay but I also sleep with [women/men]." Fortunately, we are beyond such immature polemics.
That is why I identify as "queer". I am different. I am asexual.
I have been repeatedly lectured, "gay" refers only to gay men. Many times, over decades. When Ellen Degeneres came out with the headline "Yep, I'm gay" it was interesting to see. The alphabet of LGBTQI and more is both divisive and inclusive. Scott Lively and his ilk don't give a fuck - they hate us all.
In general, I'll call people what they prefer to be called. (As long as it doesn't imply an untruth or a false relationship, such as "Master" or "Mistress"!)
The subtext of "gay" that homosexual people can and should be happy about their orientation is a good one!
Having not been personally hurt by "queer", I too use it as an umbrella term for everyone who doesn't fit into the two conventional boxes of straight cisgender woman or straight cisgender man. (I'd prefer a broad term that doesn't stress difference from a "norm"... or, in a longer view, a world where all of this diversity is seen as unremarkably as hair color!)
In "LGBTQrstuv: Bisexuality & Transgender", John Corvino points out that "some of us in coming out as gay people weren't ready to say we were gay, so we said we were bisexual as a way of kind of dipping our toe in the water .... It should go without saying that there are genuine bisexuals in the world." (That's not as visible as it should be, because it's easy to make a monosexual assumption based on the genders of a person and their partner.) There are also people who, in various ways, don't identify with the common gender binary.
As well said as anything I've come across unless it is Marjorie Garber's "Bisexuality," which caught my eye when the cover had a Gore Vidal recommendation. It was Vidal's opinion that this is the best book on the matter ever. I loved the chapters on the prescient Bloomsbury Group in particular, since these post-Victorians enjoyed a sexual smorgasbord.
It's hard not to psychologize assholes like him. I have no idea what his life was like growing up. Maybe he was sexually abused. I have seen one or two others among the "professional homophobe activist" camp who reported childhood abuse. The infamous homophobe-obsessed atheist rapper "Charlie Check'm" who trolled nexus under various identities until he was repeatedly banned, I think he reported having been abused. I'm not certain about that. But it's one tempting speculation for the virulence of hatred.
True, there could be the repressed gay in him. I doubt he would ever admit that.
Or he could just be seething with hate, no excuses needed.
Devoutly to be wished, Susan Stanko! Congratulations. I am almost there. At 71, I have interest in sex beyond self pleasuring from time to time. Now, I am trying the old boy Freud trick of sublimating my sexuality into my writing. Seems to be a good way to tap the muse. Only lack of discipline has held me back in the past, but I am slowly mastering that, too.
I was born with my asexuality. :)
We are all part of a spectrum, and we all have our journeys in live. The one thing I hope for everyone, is to be happy.
Great statement, Daniel. Ditto for me!