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As hard as it is when you are 20-something or 30-something, we all need to know what to do if we invest emotions and money in a partner, then lose them.  

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Knowing that families might not be supportive, and most familys haggle over possessions even when there is a male/female marriage, it's important to make sure that, if you are really bonded, you have mutual ownership and plans.  I think that a lawyer is needed.

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Marriage helps but isn't everything.  I'm no expert.  I lost my partner 20 years ago, and wound up on my own with far less than I had before I met him.  It was more complicated than that, but for a while I was homeless.  I never saw his family members again.  To my family, my partner was "just a friend".  The grieving was in isolation, and I buried myself in work and studies.

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Life does go on, if you make it and let it.  It's hard to think about these issues when you are in the midst of it.  I wound up moving to a different city, I did not date, and was celibate for a couple of years - no interest in sex - but finally moved on.  My partner and I have gone to a lawyer, and drawn up agreements.  The mortgage is in`my name, because we got a VA loan (I am a veteran), but in every place possible, he is named the beneficiary.  My state has domestic partner law, so e did that as well.  Having gone through that loss, I think I am more flexible in this partnership than I otherwise would have been.  For me at least, having someone "imperfect" - as we all are - is much preferable to having someone "perfect" - who is far from it - and losing it all.

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Rambling as usual. 

Views: 219

Replies to This Discussion

I can't mark "Liked" because this powerful message needs to be told, not because it is one man's story, but because many men and women experience pain caused by insensitivity, cruelty, ignorance and hate, all because two people enjoy each other, care about each other and build lives together. Again, silence is not the answer. 

Sentient, my dear and trusted friend, as you always do, you offer sound counsel. 

That video is heart-wrenching.  I'm pretty much speechless.  The raw emotions it stirs up are hard to put into words.  I can only say that I absolutely know I'm making the right choice by standing up for full equality.   

The Flying Atheist, ABSOLUTELY! Full equality at the very least. There is no reason family has to be defined by religious dogma and as long as we stay silent, they will continue to push their damnable values down our throats! Enough!. 

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