Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Susie O on July 18, 2009 at 10:02pm

I think this is a really tough one.

The path that I have chosen with family/friends that disagree with me is to acknowledge the disagreement, and then suggest that for the sake of the family/friendship we agree not to discuss religion. And/or politics (I would guess that you don't agree on that either!) :o)

There is absolutely no way to come to an agreement on this subject in this case, because that would take one of you admitting that he/she is wrong. That obviously can't happen without one of you flat out lying, or having your mind changed. Is that gonna happen? Nope. So all you will do is argue.

I don't know about you, but I think that arguments are very emotional when it's about core beliefs. We can argue about the price of gas, but I don't think that we would end up not being friends because of that subject. I would actually give in on the argument of gas prices, but when it comes to matters of being condemned to hell...that is one that I won't budge on. So I give them the choice of putting that subject off limits.

If your dad won't agree to stop harrassing you about it, I guess it's either put up with it or hit the road. It's sad to see how religion can literally tear families apart.

~sigh~ not fun, is it? But worth taking a stand on. Suggest that your dad read Sam Harris' book "Letter to a Christian Nation". Great stuff.

One of my favortie sayings is, When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.

Perhaps your dad will see the "light" of freedom from religion someday. You just have to be tactful, loving in your response to him. He probably really believes that he has your best interests at heart. Families are worth working to keep together, so finding a way to co-exist is really important.

Take care and good luck! You can always come back here for support. This is a great website. I'm so glad I discovered it!

Permalink Reply by Kitty on July 19, 2009 at 4:39am

Firstly, let me tell you I'm sorry you are going through this. You've gotten some good advice here already, but none of it is pleasant, unfortunately. The position your father has put you in is difficult.
When my sister tells me I'm going to hell, I tell her I don't believe in hell, but that only makes her mad and she escalates to telling me I'm calling God a liar. Doesn't work.
So perhaps you can just let your father know you're sorry he feels that way, and walk away every time he says something like that.
If you indeed walk out of the room every time he tells you you're going to hell, you may be able to change his behavior toward you.
Good luck, and try not to take it to heart.

Permalink Reply by Matthew Dolezal on July 19, 2009 at 1:07pm

I was raised in an evangelical Christian household, so after my deconversion, I faced similar predicaments. I would say you could talk to him about your perspective (try not to be condescending, though this will be difficult due to the childish superstitions you're up against) and explain how you arrive at conclusions. Then ask him to present evidence that Hell exists. If they are unable to do so, tell him that since there is much better evidence that this current world exists, we should focus on it (especially without our relationships). If he is able to see from your perspective (which, I admit, is sometimes extremely difficult for Christians), he may realize that such unfounded threats are not constructive, and do not compel or persuade non-theists in any way. Most importantly, he may realize that such a disagreement is not worth putting your relationship with family members in jeopardy.

Permalink Reply by William Young on July 19, 2009 at 5:41pm

I say I have been to hell, It is a town in Germany, called Hölle, which translates to Hell in English.

Permalink Reply by William Young on November 21, 2009 at 8:15pm

my reply, that's interesting, going to a place that doesn't exist.

Permalink Reply by Richard Healy on July 6, 2010 at 11:03am

What do you do you do when somebody you love tells you that you are going to hell.

well on the whole they don't but if they ever tried,

"Oh grow up."

would probably be my response.

Permalink Reply by Kevin Ray Smith on December 16, 2010 at 2:19pm

I loath the fact that someone else is having to deal with the doctrine of hell being shoved in one's face. However, I have found something that has shut my family up for the past few months and it is the greek translation of the word hell in the N.T. It translates to "Gehenna" which was a trash heap outside the walls of Jerusalem. Bodies, criminals, and deformed or still-born children were thrown into it and the Romans would set fire to it every month. However, when the city was taken the trash heap was lost. Therefore, worrying about it now is rather foolish. And then I informed them of the Norse Goddess Hel and the underwotld that deity had dominion over, and this also has my family thinking. Of course, I have had to di it little by little. Doing it all at once was not productive. Of course, a person could offer them the gospel of the flying spaghetti monster and tell them that since they refuse it they are doomed to the freezer. Of course, you may not want to go that route.

Permalink Reply by George on February 26, 2012 at 9:19pm

Tell them they can't possibly know that.