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Comment by Patricia on April 22, 2014 at 1:14pm

That ``explanation`` is a joke that has been around for years so it's nothing I made up.

I did print & take it to my doctor a long time ago & told him his higher education was a waste of time when all he had to do was read this stuff....he laughed, & then I had to find some joke to bring in with every visit.

He was an atheist as well, which I found out after my cancer diagnosis, because he asked if I was religious. I said not a chance....religion is based on superstition & I don`t buy any of it. Then we had many discussions, & being a traveller, he had visited the vatican once, & said the riches there would solve all the world`s hunger issues......& on it went.

Too bad he retired last year, I miss knowing we had a man of ``no gawd`` treating us.....& the jokes of course.

Comment by Randall Smith on April 22, 2014 at 8:27am

Patricia, your "chocolate is a vegetable" parody reminds me of the sillyness in a belief of god. I guess rationalization is the word.

Comment by Pat on April 22, 2014 at 7:22am

Patricia, I'm going to copy and print your explanation of chocolate as a vegetable. I want to hear how my physician can counter that. Take that, Doc!

And, I'll then make another pilgrimage to the greatest health food store in the world. The M&M's Store on the Strip in Las Vegas.

Here's the wall on the 2nd floor. Each column, 8' high, has every color of every flavor they make.

Comment by Joan Denoo on April 22, 2014 at 12:04am

Patricia, that is exactly right chocolate is a vegetable and for all the reasons you give. 

Comment by Sentient Biped on April 21, 2014 at 10:22pm

I need to have a vegetable now.

I always said that about carrot cake, too.

Comment by The Flying Atheist on April 21, 2014 at 7:14pm

That's funny, Patricia....and oh, so true!

Comment by Patricia on April 21, 2014 at 6:42pm

Chocolate is a Vegetable

Chocolate is derived from cacao beans. Bean = vegetable. Sugar is derived from either sugar CANE or sugar BEETS. Both are plants, which places them in the vegetable category. Thus, chocolate is a vegetable.

To go one step further, chocolate candy bars also contain milk, which is dairy. So candy bars are a health food.

Chocolate-covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.

The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.

Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite, and you'll eat less.

If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves. (We're testing this with other snack foods as well.)

If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don't they actually counteract each other?

Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger. Therefore, you need to eat more chocolate.

Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.

A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Now, isn't that handy?

If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you?

If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated. You can't let that happen, can you?

Comment by Idaho Spud on April 21, 2014 at 6:36pm

But, but.... I thought the peanuts made M&Ms a health food!

Comment by Patricia on April 21, 2014 at 6:34pm

OOOHHHHH such will power over your ''weakness"!!

Comment by Pat on April 21, 2014 at 5:58pm

OK, I'll admit it's a weakness. M&M peanuts are one of my all time favorites. However, the diet I put myself on with type II diabetes really doesn't define that as one the necessary food groups. I was at a store today, and saw the 1/2 price giant bags of pastel colored ones they were peddling for yesterday. My left hand was fighting my right had from putting half the shelf into the cart. I got out there without one piece. Ratatouille for dinner.


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