A Cynic is a skeptic on steroids

Why stop with the rejection of gods? All authority deserves contempt. Rules are dispensable, as are customs, conventions, public opinion, reputation, honour and dishonour. Everyone's an asshole unless they give very, very good reason to the contrary. We find humour in the deepest blackness and despair. We stare at reality in all its brutal glory without blinking. We use lanterns in daylight to seek honest beings. We are Devil's advocates and court jesters. We sleep in tubs. We will drink your last beer. We will steal your dog. For when Atheism just simply isn't enough - we are The Cynics! We are dogs ! Woof!

Please rise for the Cynics anthem

“Dogs and philosophers do the greatest good and get the fewest rewards.” “When I look upon seamen, men of science and philosophers, man is the wisest of all beings; when I look upon priests and prophets nothing is as contemptible as man.”

“Of what use is a philosopher who doesn't hurt anybody's feelings ?”

“We have two ears and one tongue so that we would listen more and talk less.”

"The mob is the mother of tyrants."

"Those who have virtue always in their mouths, and neglect it in practice, are like a harp, which emits a sound pleasing to others, while itself is insensible of the music."

"The foundation of every state is the education of its youth."

"In a rich man's house there is no place to spit but his face."

“What I like to drink most is wine that belongs to others.”

"I pissed on the man who called me a dog. Why was he so surprised ?" -- Diogenes of Sinope
"I've never done anything shameful or undignified under the influence of alcohol that I can recall" -- Sir Les Patterson

"I'm not anti-society, society's anti-me" -- Suicidal Tendencies

"Cynics regarded everybody as equally corrupt... Idealists regarded everybody as equally corrupt, except themselves."
“Belief is the death of intelligence." -- Robert Anton Wilson

"A cynic is not merely one who reads bitter lessons from the past, he is one who is prematurely disappointed in the future." -- Sidney J. Harris

"Religion began when the first scoundrel met the first fool." -- Voltaire

"If you’ve reached the point where being called a bad name is your primary gripe in life, you have it pretty fucking good." -- Jim Goad

"Reasons are for sippers" -- The Vulgarian RUFC

"Give me convenience or give me death." -- Dead Kennedys

"Whatever a theologian feels to be true must be false: this is almost a criterion of truth. His most basic instinct of self-preservation forbids him to respect reality at any point or even to let it get a word in. Wherever the theologean's instinct extends, value judgements have been stood on their heads and the concepts of 'true' and 'false' are of necessity reversed: whatever is most harmful to life is called 'true'; whatever elevates it, enhances, affirms, justifies it, and makes it triumphunt is called 'false'." -- Friedrich Nietzsche

"I've stolen from people with AIDS. I've also stolen from second hand stores that donate their profits to people who have AIDS. It's not the same. People with AIDS have better stuff than you'll ever find in those stores." -- claw71

"Listen up, maggots. You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You're the same decaying organic matter as everything else." -- Tyler Durden

"Goatse is the reason the internet was invented" -- some clown on a|n chat

"She's so fucking hot I'd suck a fart out of her ass and hold it in like a bong hit....." -- some celebrity smut connoisseur on PirateBay teaches us the meaning of respect

"Don't be humble. You're not that great." -- Golda Meir

"Idealism increases in direct proportion to one's distance from the problem." -- John Galsworthy

"I prefer the company of peasants because they have not been educated sufficiently to reason incorrectly." -- Michel de Montaigne

"EAT A BOWL OF DICK" -- MC Deuce

"Once your reputation is ruined, you can do anything you like -- Voice of experience." -- Renee Cooperman

"I can't understand why people are frightened by new ideas. I'm frightened of old ones." -- John Cage

"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt." -- Bertrand Russell

“The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who haven't got it.” --George Bernard Shaw

"Don’t worry about what people think, they don’t do it very often." -- unknown

"Home is where the floor is." -- X

“The opposite of the religious fanatic is not the fanatical atheist but the gentle cynic who cares not whether there is a god or not” -- Eric Hoffer

“The citizen's job is to be rude - to pierce the comfort of professional intercourse by boorish expressions of doubt” -- John Ralston Saul

”It’s not illegal to be an asshole” -- Guy Earle

“Jesus is just a word I use to swear with” -- Richard Harris

"Bad company is as instructive as licentiousness. One makes up for the loss of one's innocence with the loss of one's prejudices."
"Man will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest." -- Denis Diderot

ROT13 is your friend.

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