How would you go about meeting people with similar values?

I ask this both in the general sense, and also regarding relationships.

Dating is extremely hard.  It's very difficult to find any women who are political conservatives, let alone non-theists.  The local Young Republicans are mostly male, and the few women are all married.  Needless to say, church groups, even those like the Unitarians, have the same issues; the only single women there are over 60 or lesbian.  The only exception seems to be the fundamentalist churches, and they politely insist that you must share their beliefs, which leaves me out.  (Same with the Catholics and the Jews.) 

On the other side of things, atheist groups are openly hostile to anyone who is not a liberal.  

I've tried online, and it's a vast desert.  After trying a dozen different online services like Match, OKCupid, eHarmony, POF, and so on, I've concluded that conservative women just don't use online dating.  A search for terms like "conservative" and "republican" gets nothing but hate-filled rants from liberal women, telling any non-liberals to stay away from them.

There are, of course, a few online sites catering specifically to the right. Unfortunately, these have so few users that there are usually no women at all within 500 miles or more of me.

Of course, everyone always suggests activity groups.  What sort of activities would tend to attract single, 30-something, Republican women?  I'm scratching my head and trying to think of some.  Most of the things that I enjoy doing (hunting, fishing, scuba, riding, building things, etc.) tend to be heavily male-centric.

Any suggestions?

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Replies to This Discussion

I can tell you what worked for me finding a conservative woman even though it was by accident.  I wasn't looking for a girlfriend or relationship at the time.

I met my wife online in 1997 before people were regularly meeting that way.  I was living in Hawaii and she was in Ukraine.  I was planning on moving to Las Vegas and was not looking for a girl or anything serious, just started browsing this free dating site "American Singles" to laugh about the ads people wrote.  Not sure if that site exists anymore or if it is still free if it is.  Anyway, I started writing to her because her ad was sarcastic and funny and I needed something to kill time while waiting to move and not wanting to get involved with anyone where I was living since I wouldn't be staying there.  In 1999 after two trips to Ukraine I married her.  We're going on 15 years this April and our fourth child is due in March next year, our oldest is seven.

She is very socially conservative because of her childhood upbringing under the Soviet Union.  Even though she was only twelve when the soviet union collapsed, she remembers her parents telling her not to say certain things in front of neighbors and that people were always worried about getting targeted by the state and maybe arrested.  She is amazed that people here in America can be so blind and ignorant in their views and understanding of what socialism and communism are and cannot stand the socialist policies of the left and what they are doing.

Not sure what your age range or background is or what you are looking for in a lady, but Eastern European or former soviet block women are a great source to find conservative women that are also atheists.  They know the dangers of socialism and the destruction it reaps on society.  Unfortunately a lot of the Russian or Ukranian immigrants in this country that have been here for a while are religious as their families often left that region because of religious persecution, but not all.  If you can meet someone online that is still in one of those countries great, but be very wary of knowing who you are talking to and don't fall into scams to send money or anything. 

My wife and I wrote to each other for almost a year before I finally went to meet her.  Again, I was writing just to make friends and never thought I would even travel to that country.  I would advise against traveling to another country to meet someone, you should know who you are going to meet and have been writing and calling them for at least three to six months before travelling.  There are some dating places that charge to set people up with a number of dates that fit their profile that one can meet in a one or two week period, but that is just as unreliable as doing the same thing here.  No one can get to know a person in a few dates.  With online relationships just like in person relationships, I think six months is the magic number to spend enough time getting to know someone to know if you have anything real in common or if it is just a new infatuation that made you like them.

Another possible bonus which is also a negative to meeting someone not in your immediate area is not having to deal with confused sexual tension that makes it tough to know if the woman is right for you.  A long relationship is about what you will be doing outside of the bed more than in it, so online dating can really build a strong and lasting friendship.  I am not saying this to minimize sex mind you.  My wife and I were both young, attractive and fit when we met. She was 19 when we got married and I was 25. I wasn't an old fat greasy haired slob that couldn't find dates.  I was a young man enjoying life but moving soon and didn't need to get into a serious relationship while moving from Hawaii.  It helped me get to know her better since I wasn't trying to constantly get her top off or into her pants as I would with the girls that I dated in person. 

So I strongly recommend online dating to get the most exposure.  Look all over this country and any other country that you think might have the type of woman you find attractive and try to find the one that is also interesting and the right fit.

When you write to them, I recommend that when you write, you speak to each other as old friends instead of prospective dates, because that will help you and her to be more honest with each other.  Online is just the quickest way to sort through the most choices when your ideal woman must be a minority member of a minority group "conservative atheist."

Also, if you have any friends in the activities you do, you can ask them in a round about way that you are looking for someone.  No one wants to ask their buddy if his sister is available, but if you mention to your friends how hard it is to find a good woman who is a conservative atheist like yourself, they just might help you find the right woman as well.

Hope this helps and good luck.  I can attest though that there are amazing women out their that are not religious and not brainwashed by the feel good fantasy world of liberalism either.

Here is an idea I have just started trying.

            I ask acquaintances, old and new, if they know of any people who are Jewish, atheist, Buddhist,  and other non-typical religions around here.  I hope that they will say,"yes, so-and-so believes..." and then maybe they would introduce me to them, or I might already know them, but did not know this information about them.

            I used it twice; they did not know of anyone.  My job is changing, which means that I do not circulate among many familiar people like I used to.  So I have not used that question lately,  I do not know how successful it is.

Huh.  That's certainly a unique approach.

I don't understand. How does being Jewish, atheistic, or buddhist indicate that one is likely to be  a conservative?  

In my experience, it actually tends to be just the opposite - the groups you mention are mostly extreme, bigoted liberals.

I seem to get along best with Mormons, born-again Christians, and Southern Baptists.  Unfortunately, they usually aren't interested in me.    

     The reason I ask the question is to first, find other atheists (and to find other uncommon belief systems for my area, because it is interesting).  Once I have found an atheist, I would try to discover the conservative part.

     My area is filled with Catholic, Lutheran, Baptist, Methodist, and a smattering of all of the other Christian types.  My friends tend to be Catholic and Methodist.  I know two Buddhist families, and aware of maybe five Jewish families in my community of 25,000.  I am acquainted with only six atheists: 4 are teenagers, and one of the adults lives 4 hours away from me.   The closest town with an atheist group is 45 minutes away, and they seem liberal.  I joined an online meet up group that also seems liberal.  I want to fish for conservatives there by asking if there are any there, but I do not want to deal with the flack I might receive.  It feels desert like in my area.

    I am not yet ready to "go public" in my community.  Only my very close friends know of my views.   Since I work around a lot of teens, I decided not to be a "friend" there yet; too public.  Maybe I will create an "also known as" name and dive in.  :)

I am happy that I found this site.

There is a Conservative Atheist Facebook page that Chris Z. started. 

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