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AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!! The Time Of The Beast!?!?!?!?

Today I recieved a glossy, Christ-tard pamphlet about Dale Pollett's "exciting new lecture series," THE TIME OF THE BEAST. It is a World of Prophecy Bible Seminar! Never heard of Dale Pollett? Don't worry not many really have. He is a Geensboro, NC Adventist who has decided to send me his advertisement for his "making the book of revelation make sence" (thier words not mine) seminar this weekend. Seeing how I just love torturing myself I have decided to show up for the 'Seminar' this Friday, that and I just love any opportunity to receive free shit from the nuts (on arrival a free "gift" of the book "The Passion of Love", $9.95 marked down book on the life/teaching of Jesus).

I don't plan on starting any shit or disturbing thier rights to organize, but I do plan on calling them out thier bullshit conspiracy non-sense and will be bringing my copy of "The God Delusion" and bringing my iPod for easy drowning out of shitty music. I have attached the pics from the pamphlet for reviews and comments. If anyone has anymore suggestions for things I may bring up for topics or discussions for the after-crowd.

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Permalink Reply by Eli on February 23, 2010 at 5:53pm

Is that a cup filled with the "filth of her fornication?

Soldiers shooting green goo out of their Night Vision goggles? (I'm not remembering this prophecy).

Barry Gibb on a white horse... now that fits MY image of the apocalypse.

Permalink Reply by Robert Madewell on February 23, 2010 at 6:59pm

I thought that was The Burger King on the horse in pic#3. The green goo is shooting out sideways too! Has the artist heard of perspective? The 666 on the forehead doesn't look very stylish. I don't think anyone will be having that done soon.

Reminds me of that terrible Jehovah's Witness artwork. Except, the JW art is probably of a slightly better quality.

I also noticed how euro-centric this second coming is being depicted.

Permalink Reply by Robert Madewell on February 23, 2010 at 7:17pm

Is that Stevie Nicks standing next to the Burger King in picture 3? Barbara Walters with horny tigers on a leash?

Permalink Reply by david brooklyn on February 24, 2010 at 4:00pm

Now THIS is the calibre of artwork I'd want air-brushed onto my 80's van. If this were the 80's. And I had a van.

Doesn't the cover look like the cover of a D&D clone rulebook?

Permalink Reply by Adrian Ramirez on February 23, 2010 at 6:10pm

Oh sh*t. you're joking, right? you drew those, right? lmao!! what the hell is that? dude, you have me laughing my ass off at work. thanks.

ultimately, however, it is not that funny that we are part of a civilization that is saturated with people who really believe this stuff, that they are gonna be taken away by space-jesus on a white horse, that there are evil supernatural forces, and so much more wackiness. so crazy....and scary.

for a bit of constructive criticism..... i dont see the point of bringing the god delusion, or ultimately making any claims. i say, dont bother making any claims that you would have to defend and just focus on having them give reasons for believing their wacky beliefs.

have fun

adrian

Permalink Reply by Susan Stanko on February 23, 2010 at 6:11pm

These pics look like promos from He-Man.

Permalink Reply by Adrian Ramirez on February 23, 2010 at 6:14pm

haha!! i totally thought that too. so funny.

and why is everyone white except for one of the people with with the 666 on their heads.

it looks like one of those Mormon cartoons.

Permalink Reply by Robert Madewell on February 23, 2010 at 7:10pm

Hey dooby, can I use your scans on my blog? I started a blog series about wierd religious artwork. My first post in the series is here.

Permalink Reply by Dooby Snax on February 23, 2010 at 7:54pm

your more then welcome to use the pics for anything, it's thier BS, not mine

Permalink Reply by Brian on February 23, 2010 at 10:55pm

I wanna party with the chick on the cover. She looks like she knows how to have a good time.

Permalink Reply by Robert Madewell on February 24, 2010 at 10:04pm

Dooby, my hat is tipped to thee, sir!

Wierd Religious Art: White Jesus Comes Again

Permalink Reply by mxyzptlk on March 4, 2010 at 11:21am

Watch this shit. A few years ago, we got a book like this dropped at our door on a Sunday -- everyone in the neighborhood did. Turns out, the people dropping the books were checking for unlocked doors, and came back the next day at about 10:00 a.m. and started breaking into places. They'd hit three neighborhoods at that point, nicking TV's, computers, dvd players, etc.

I was home the morning after the book drop prepping for a class, and my wife left the front door unlocked because I was there (we didn't know about the thefts at that point). At around 10:00 a.m. the dude walked in, my beagles lost their minds, and chased his ass out to the highway.

That was the end of the break-ins in our neighborhood.

Lesson: Lock your doors or get beagles. Or both.