November 30th - John Grow

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I have always loved birthdays, as it seems the most appropriate time to celebrate a friend/loved one's life. I have been trying to get it though the collective skull of my family for years that Xmess is not that big of a deal to me, but birthdays... oh yes! They get me gifts and religious cards on their religious buying holiday, I get them gifts and cards for them on their birthday.

I just celebrated my 50th birthday. It was a big transition for me, as neither of my parents made it past 50. I don't fear aging like many people do, so I wasn't upset that "Omg... my value on the meat market has decreased even more!!!1111" My issue was that my parents didn't make it past 50. Now that it looks like I may outlive them, I'm ready to have a party.

The only 50th birthday party that I've ever been invited to was the one thrown by my cohabi-tater's aunt's domestic partner. It was a lovely event, with good food, a table of memorabilia about his aunt, and more people than I even know.

I'm thinking about having a 50th party this summer, and inviting all the people who have been good to me over the years. It would be a small way of honoring them, and thanking them for their kindness.

My family's birthday ritual was to invite our grandparents over, and maybe a few friends, have cake with candles that the birthday boy or girl blew out, making a wish while we all sang "Happy Birthday". We also had ice cream, and were given a few gifts. Now that I'm past 50, and my grandparents and parents are dead, I miss these gatherings. Once upon a time, everyone in my family spoke to everyone else, and people actually seemed to get along.

As an adult, one of the rituals that I enjoyed for a few years was going out to eat at the only Indian restaurant within driving distance, spending time in a bookstore, and then ending the day in a hottub on the roof of a hottub place, watching the sun set.