If you have cancer.

If you had cancer.

If you know someone with cancer.

If you want to talk about cancer.

We won't pray.  We won't blame gods.  We won't give credit to gods.  

We face the diagnosis and know, it is what it is.  

To the extent that we can, we will define our own course.

Members: 20
Latest Activity: Aug 9


Cancer changes lives.

We have to deal with medical profession.

We have to deal with medications.

We have to deal with new discomfort and pain.

We have to create dignity, where there is indignity.

We have to deal with family members, friends, coworkers, and strangers, in a changed way.

We resolve to go forward with strength, resilience, purpose, pride, and integrity.

We define ourselves. Cancer does not define us.

A Personal Cancer Blog

Loading… Loading feed

Comment Wall


You need to be a member of Cancer to add comments!

Comment by booklover on January 11, 2014 at 9:38am

Actually Joan, he and my son lost touch long ago when they moved away!  I did run into his mom at Target, and we hugged and had a nice conversation, but we're not in their lives.  Truthfully I don't think I could spend any amount of time with someone so religious, nor would I want to.  And she seems so sweet and delicate, I think if she found out I was an Atheist she'd faint!

I love the way you talk about life Joan.  You make me want to do more in life, and not be in bad moods, because life is too short!

Daniel, I will have you in my thoughts and I hope to see good news posted on here after your next CT scan.

Comment by Joan Denoo on January 10, 2014 at 11:22pm

Mindy, if the young man begins to question whether faith and belief continue to be justified justified, given all the evidence that he will encounter that supports skepticism, you will be there to discuss the matter with him. Or your son will undoubtedly be a source of searching and seeking. That is where my hope lies. When the truth begins to knock on doubts, there are better ways of being alive. Trained to obey, not question, sacrifice oneself, follow as a sheep, gets very old very quickly as one matures. There are more enlightened and satisfying ways to think. 

Comment by Joan Denoo on January 10, 2014 at 10:56pm

Daniel, you are on my thoughts. I hope things improve. Each day holds so many opportunities to care and participate in life. The turning of the seasons offers a nice chance to hunker down, without extra chores beckoning one out of a comfy chair. Getting ready for another season of engaging with the elements of life enriches in very many ways. Warmer days, more daylight, the greening of the Earth all invite us to take on another season. 

I feel very encouraged that there are growing numbers of people who embrace the reality of being free of promises and threats of dogma of all kinds. We are becoming a nation of non-believers, with all that implies. The numbers joining A/N encourages me that we don't have to be silent about our thoughts. More people accept differences of gender orientation. 

There continue to be rapids to maneuver, and individually we become stronger. It feels so good to be able to be open and honest about who we are and not motivated by fear of damnation and hope of heaven, neither of which were ever real.

Take good care dear friend. Congratulations on the fine start of your new site, Food. It is taking off with very good participation.


Comment by Sentient Biped on January 10, 2014 at 10:12pm


"I am absolutely certain there is a plan for his life. He interprets it as a plan created by god for him. I say to him, the plan already exists inside of him, he is the author, the creator, the definer of his plan."

I really like that.  Often we don't know it, and often life intervenes with disruptions of whatever conscious or unconscious plan we have write.  But we are the authors of our plans.  Now, I need to have a talk with my editor.  :-)

They didn't PET scan me.  Just CT scan.  Next one is a week from  Saturday.  That's the 6-month point.  I've been sicker than usual lately, but no weight loss.  I suspect the "sicker" is work and exposures, and the "no weight loss" is a good thing.  Then again, I didn't lose weight while growing a 2 pound tumor in my belly.  I've been faithful taking the adjuvant therapy.  We'll see.  :-)

Comment by booklover on January 10, 2014 at 9:02pm
Unfortunately Joan I don't think this young man will ever figure it out. His mother is EXTREMELY religious, the rest of his family is very religious, including his girlfriend. He works at a religious camp in the summer... Oh well. I just hope his PET scan shows no more cancer also. I am sorry about your friend Ed!
Comment by Joan Denoo on January 10, 2014 at 8:34pm

Oh yes, that wonderful PET scan. It is what tells the professionals if any cancer cells remain after the treatments. If the PET is clean, then the assumption/hope/passionately desired verdict of "free of cancer cells" may be true ... or there may be some hidden little devils that the scan didn't see. Or new ones just waiting to spring into being. 

My closest friend, Ed, the fellow who sends me all those funny pictures, and cartoons, had testicular cancer, went through all the protocols. Just this week he let me know that the cancer has spread to his bones. He is now in radiation trying to keep the pain down. Prognosis is not good. 

I hope the young man is free of cancer and can resume his life in a normal fashion to old age. Perhaps he will have to face the fact one day that he is not clear, that he has more rounds of whatever protocol they prescribe, and he can rest on the good work of his god or faith or belief.

Meanwhile, the doctors, nurses, technicians, all those people who sit with those who throw up in emesis basins, or who cry out in pain, faithfully care for and provide what comfort is available. 

Their god sits serenely by, not giving a hand at cleaning up the messes, or holding hands, or giving comfort to family who suffers a different kind of pain than the patient.

I am absolutely certain there is a plan for his life. He interprets it as a plan created by god for him. I say to him, the plan already exists inside of him, he is the author, the creator, the definer of his plan. His life is in his own hands and he needs no crutch to hand him a plan on a silver platter.  No god can provide the kind of comfort, certainty, confidence and competence that comes out of his own wisdom.

Well, I hope he doesn't have too hard of a time figuring that all out. Delusions are a dreadful thing to overcome. I wish him well.  

Comment by booklover on January 10, 2014 at 7:27pm
Well I saw on FB that that childhood friend of my sons with the testicular cancer had his last chemo today, and is going back to school. A while ago he said something about having to have a PET scan when done? Today he acted like the whole thing is over. He also reiterated that god has a plan for him. So I guess god thought he should have cancer, miss a semester of college, then go back having learned some kind of lesson. I certainly hope it IS over for him, but if he hasn't had the scan to see if the tumor is gone? I don't know. I guess I will see on FB. I certainly hope his scan is good!
Comment by Idaho Spud on December 29, 2013 at 4:08pm

Daniel, so sorry about your horrible experience aspirating cancer medication.  I would give-up secrets as well.

Comment by booklover on December 29, 2013 at 4:01pm
*paid-off TOO, not TO.
Comment by booklover on December 29, 2013 at 4:00pm
Well Daniel at least it's not as bad today. Obviously better than the opposite! I admire your determination to keep working, and doing it for Ning as well. My husband is the rock that keeps our family able to get the medical care we all need, and he hates his job. He is a union worker, and technically he's been there long enough to collect his pension, but we need the health benefits! They have been wonderful benefits for over 25 years, but they are going to change in the new year due to the contract being up, and the company not negotiating such awesome benefits that we've had. We knew it would end sometime! This is why we have no debt (except a loan on my husbands car.) I want that paid-off to. We paid our motgage off years ago. I just feel so much more at peace being debt-free.
Sorry, I got carried away there! Of course I will be so happy to see you post that you are doing awesome after your next scan!!! The world needs wonderful people like you to be around for a long time!!!!

Members (20)


Support Atheist Nexus

Donate Today



Help Nexus When You Buy From Amazon




© 2014   Atheist Nexus. All rights reserved. Admin: Richard Haynes.

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service