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Cancer

If you have cancer.

If you had cancer.

If you know someone with cancer.

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We won't pray.  We won't blame gods.  We won't give credit to gods.  

We face the diagnosis and know, it is what it is.  

To the extent that we can, we will define our own course.

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Cancer

Cancer changes lives.

We have to deal with medical profession.

We have to deal with medications.

We have to deal with new discomfort and pain.

We have to create dignity, where there is indignity.

We have to deal with family members, friends, coworkers, and strangers, in a changed way.

We resolve to go forward with strength, resilience, purpose, pride, and integrity.

We define ourselves. Cancer does not define us.

Discussion Forum

Men at risk of Prostate Cancer could in future be identified by Gene Tests

Started by Dr. Terence Meaden. Last reply by Patricia on Tuesday. 3 Replies

Ex Nature Genetics... Genetic tests could identify men having up to 100 genes that together can raise their risk of prostate cancer sixfold. One per cent of men carry a combination of the genes that…Continue

Tags: Prostate Cancer, Genes

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Comment by Patricia on February 4, 2014 at 10:50pm

Very glad to report that my husband is checked every year!

The thing that would anger anyone would be not being told this test needs doing regularly as in the mammograms for women!

"All is well" & ''saving a few bucks'' just doesn't wash, & we already have to rely on the medical people to keep us informed of everything available as it is!

Everything being about money just makes me livid!!! 

Comment by Dr. Terence Meaden on February 4, 2014 at 10:32pm

The day the GP told me that I had prostate cancer I was polite and quiet with him while being so very angry inside. Not angry because of getting the cancer  because that was decided by a gene defect in my genome---so that was my destiny; but angry because every January I went voluntarily for a medical and every time I asked the GP to check me for everything including blood tests for everything. And every time I got a verbal message saying that all was well. I did not know that to save a few bucks he was omitting the PSA test. So suddenly one year (six years ago) he calls me in to report that a PSA test had been done and my PSA was a startling 34 (which rose to 42 over the next 4 months). I had had the cancer for three years without anyone knowing (the PSA number was doubling annually). The cancer is what they call locally advanced and I am swallowing pills that cost thousands every year. So I am angry---but not depressed. I have always been a supreme optimist and will fight this to the end. The latest news is that I have 5 years to go---and of course I am hoping that new pills will appear during this time period to lengthen this further. Do any of you others in this group have prostate cancer? 

Comment by Patricia on February 4, 2014 at 8:47pm

I came home the day of diagnosis & physically slapped my breast for betraying me, but then I knew I had to just get on with the drs. orders.

I am not naturally an upbeat, cheerful, positive, funny, sort of person, so I really have to work hard at it, & I guess it's been a little successful now & then.

Comment by booklover on February 4, 2014 at 7:12pm
Good Spud. Sometimes I think my way of thinking is bizarre! My mom and I "get" each other, but we tend to laugh and make fun of (not in any mean way) everything! Maybe seeing the weirdness of life and laughing because of it, and/or in spite of it, is our way of coping. We laugh together a LOT! Laughing feels good. :)
Comment by Idaho Spud on February 4, 2014 at 6:46pm

Doesn't sound morbid to me Mindy.

Comment by booklover on February 4, 2014 at 6:33pm
I know you know it's not your fault Daniel. It's a testament to your character that you feel bad for putting your partner through this with you. It's obvious he loves you and wants to take care of you, and wants you to take care of yourself.
This sounds horrible, but my mom and I have a goofy sense of humor. We were talking about how life can suck so much at times. I said it's like a big game where you just try not to die for as long as possible, balancing pleasure and risk, with healthy habits and safety measures, so that you can be happy and have as long a life as possible. Does that sound morbid?
Comment by Sentient Biped on February 4, 2014 at 6:07pm

I guess I'm different here. Maybe it's a gender thing. No tears, no anger, no denial, no panic.

Temperamentally I sometimes veer into depression, and there has been that. Or maybe grief is more accurate. Definitely for me there has been grief over losing the "no cancer" version of me, and some grief about other losses along with it. Some loss of the sort of physical or bodily integrity, where I've had to let other people do things to my body. I don't like that.

Also I feel I let my partner down by getting cancer. I do not want to put him through, what this puts people through. I still feel grief about when he came home and the EMTs were there getting me onto a gurney. He looked so panicked. He still tries to make me eat better and wants me to quit work, thinking that will help me get better.

I also feel some relief, that I am not putting my parents through this. They had good, long lives, and did not lose a child to cancer or to any other disease. That is a good thing.

Comment by booklover on February 4, 2014 at 3:22pm
I don't cry as much anymore. When my son, now 19, was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes at age 10, I HAD to be strong and be the mom. I certainly wasn't going to make him more afraid. I cried in the car by myself once, and that was it. I talked to him about how I hated it that he had it, and I wish I could have it for him, but I just let him know he would still do whatever he wanted in life, just with some extra work due to this sucky thing he now had. I everyone kept waiting for me to crash, but I just didn't. I think I went into warrior-mommy mode.
Comment by Joan Denoo on February 4, 2014 at 3:05pm

I'm a crier, at anything and everything. A real patsy for the stuff designed for gullible people. Usually the tears energize me to figure out what is so painful to hear or watch and attempt to make systemic changes. I guess crier, thinker, doer, celebrator just about sums me up. I am seriously lacking humor in that string

Comment by Patricia on February 4, 2014 at 1:44pm
I was always a ''crier'' about almost anything, but after my diagnosis all I had were a few tears & that's the last time I cried, even slightly, until we lost my inlaws. After they died, I haven't cried about anything. Even my husband mentioned to the dr. that I didn't react as expected to the cancer news. That's why I think nature froze my emotions.
Yes, we have gone through a lot with my husband's heart etc., but that's the way it is......nature doesn't give a damn.......
 

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