If you have cancer.

If you had cancer.

If you know someone with cancer.

If you want to talk about cancer.

We won't pray.  We won't blame gods.  We won't give credit to gods.  

We face the diagnosis and know, it is what it is.  

To the extent that we can, we will define our own course.

Members: 15
Latest Activity: yesterday


Cancer changes lives.

We have to deal with medical profession.

We have to deal with medications.

We have to deal with new discomfort and pain.

We have to create dignity, where there is indignity.

We have to deal with family members, friends, coworkers, and strangers, in a changed way.

We resolve to go forward with strength, resilience, purpose, pride, and integrity.

We define ourselves. Cancer does not define us.

Discussion Forum

Participant Observer, loose bowel syndrome, unexpected and unprepared.

Started by Joan Denoo. Last reply by Patricia on Tuesday. 25 Replies

I thought I had given my last participant observer report, but just so others who may go through the same protocol as I did, here is another report on the loose bowel syndrome. The lesson here is,…Continue

Participant observer, toe and finger nails update

Started by Joan Denoo. Last reply by Joan Denoo Apr 2. 4 Replies

Finally got all through the red-tape of health insurance referrals and saw a podiatrist this morning. A man in his late 60s, I would guess. Extremely thorough about checking my health history, and…Continue


Started by Ruth Anthony-Gardner Mar 31. 0 Replies

CD47The most promising cancer treatment to date will begin human trials in mid-2014.CD47 is a kind of protein that is found on the…Continue

Tags: antibody based cancer therapy, CD47

Partipant observer update: cancer treatment and toe and finger nails

Started by Joan Denoo. Last reply by Joan Denoo Mar 18. 4 Replies

My present pain is these damnable toe and finger nails, wanting to curl into my skin. I see the doctor today about my big toe. It is now infected and looks a little like this picture. The tips of my…Continue

A Personal Cancer Blog

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Comment by Sentient Biped on January 10, 2014 at 10:12pm


"I am absolutely certain there is a plan for his life. He interprets it as a plan created by god for him. I say to him, the plan already exists inside of him, he is the author, the creator, the definer of his plan."

I really like that.  Often we don't know it, and often life intervenes with disruptions of whatever conscious or unconscious plan we have write.  But we are the authors of our plans.  Now, I need to have a talk with my editor.  :-)

They didn't PET scan me.  Just CT scan.  Next one is a week from  Saturday.  That's the 6-month point.  I've been sicker than usual lately, but no weight loss.  I suspect the "sicker" is work and exposures, and the "no weight loss" is a good thing.  Then again, I didn't lose weight while growing a 2 pound tumor in my belly.  I've been faithful taking the adjuvant therapy.  We'll see.  :-)

Comment by booklover on January 10, 2014 at 9:02pm
Unfortunately Joan I don't think this young man will ever figure it out. His mother is EXTREMELY religious, the rest of his family is very religious, including his girlfriend. He works at a religious camp in the summer... Oh well. I just hope his PET scan shows no more cancer also. I am sorry about your friend Ed!
Comment by Joan Denoo on January 10, 2014 at 8:34pm

Oh yes, that wonderful PET scan. It is what tells the professionals if any cancer cells remain after the treatments. If the PET is clean, then the assumption/hope/passionately desired verdict of "free of cancer cells" may be true ... or there may be some hidden little devils that the scan didn't see. Or new ones just waiting to spring into being. 

My closest friend, Ed, the fellow who sends me all those funny pictures, and cartoons, had testicular cancer, went through all the protocols. Just this week he let me know that the cancer has spread to his bones. He is now in radiation trying to keep the pain down. Prognosis is not good. 

I hope the young man is free of cancer and can resume his life in a normal fashion to old age. Perhaps he will have to face the fact one day that he is not clear, that he has more rounds of whatever protocol they prescribe, and he can rest on the good work of his god or faith or belief.

Meanwhile, the doctors, nurses, technicians, all those people who sit with those who throw up in emesis basins, or who cry out in pain, faithfully care for and provide what comfort is available. 

Their god sits serenely by, not giving a hand at cleaning up the messes, or holding hands, or giving comfort to family who suffers a different kind of pain than the patient.

I am absolutely certain there is a plan for his life. He interprets it as a plan created by god for him. I say to him, the plan already exists inside of him, he is the author, the creator, the definer of his plan. His life is in his own hands and he needs no crutch to hand him a plan on a silver platter.  No god can provide the kind of comfort, certainty, confidence and competence that comes out of his own wisdom.

Well, I hope he doesn't have too hard of a time figuring that all out. Delusions are a dreadful thing to overcome. I wish him well.  

Comment by booklover on January 10, 2014 at 7:27pm
Well I saw on FB that that childhood friend of my sons with the testicular cancer had his last chemo today, and is going back to school. A while ago he said something about having to have a PET scan when done? Today he acted like the whole thing is over. He also reiterated that god has a plan for him. So I guess god thought he should have cancer, miss a semester of college, then go back having learned some kind of lesson. I certainly hope it IS over for him, but if he hasn't had the scan to see if the tumor is gone? I don't know. I guess I will see on FB. I certainly hope his scan is good!
Comment by Idaho Spud on December 29, 2013 at 4:08pm

Daniel, so sorry about your horrible experience aspirating cancer medication.  I would give-up secrets as well.

Comment by booklover on December 29, 2013 at 4:01pm
*paid-off TOO, not TO.
Comment by booklover on December 29, 2013 at 4:00pm
Well Daniel at least it's not as bad today. Obviously better than the opposite! I admire your determination to keep working, and doing it for Ning as well. My husband is the rock that keeps our family able to get the medical care we all need, and he hates his job. He is a union worker, and technically he's been there long enough to collect his pension, but we need the health benefits! They have been wonderful benefits for over 25 years, but they are going to change in the new year due to the contract being up, and the company not negotiating such awesome benefits that we've had. We knew it would end sometime! This is why we have no debt (except a loan on my husbands car.) I want that paid-off to. We paid our motgage off years ago. I just feel so much more at peace being debt-free.
Sorry, I got carried away there! Of course I will be so happy to see you post that you are doing awesome after your next scan!!! The world needs wonderful people like you to be around for a long time!!!!
Comment by Sentient Biped on December 29, 2013 at 3:23pm


I'm an internist.  it's a long story.  I don't go into it online, because it gets in the way of some interactions.

Comment by Plinius on December 29, 2013 at 2:23pm

I'm glad you feel a bit better, Daniel! What work do you do, or what makes it meaningful to you?

Comment by Sentient Biped on December 29, 2013 at 1:40pm


Still not in that great shape today.  But not as bad.  Today mostly online doing homework.

Fortunately this week will have a day off for New Years.  Glad for that!

Joan, work gives my life meaning.  Also without work I can't afford treatment without giving up being able to provide for my partner, especially if my life ends soon.  Statistics say that probably won't be the case but its something i think about.  Next scan in is mid Jan.  Most of my human interaction is also via work and I would miss that too.  It's very difficult.  I wish there was a way to cut back.  But I continue.


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