If you have cancer.

If you had cancer.

If you know someone with cancer.

If you want to talk about cancer.

We won't pray.  We won't blame gods.  We won't give credit to gods.  

We face the diagnosis and know, it is what it is.  

To the extent that we can, we will define our own course.

Members: 20
Latest Activity: on Monday


Cancer changes lives.

We have to deal with medical profession.

We have to deal with medications.

We have to deal with new discomfort and pain.

We have to create dignity, where there is indignity.

We have to deal with family members, friends, coworkers, and strangers, in a changed way.

We resolve to go forward with strength, resilience, purpose, pride, and integrity.

We define ourselves. Cancer does not define us.

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Comment by Plinius on February 5, 2014 at 11:29am

Yes, and it stopped after my parents' death. But look what wonderful people I found! (((GROUPHUG))))

Comment by booklover on February 5, 2014 at 8:29am

That's so sad Chris.  You are such a wonderful person.  So you cried in your sleep because you needed to do that.  {{{Hug}}}

Comment by Plinius on February 5, 2014 at 6:01am

I'm not a crier, or perhaps I am; I first try to decide what can be done best and I do that. Tears come later, but I discovered very late that you must make room for tears - or else. From perhaps my 10th to somewhere in my 40s I woke up every day feeling like I had been run over by a van. Never remembered dreams, but I was broken every morning. One day husband remarked that I had been crying and moaning very much that night - I never knew that I did that! Then we made the connection: my parents never wanted or liked me, and I cried about their betrayal.

Comment by Joan Denoo on February 4, 2014 at 11:05pm

Don't pray for us, don't make sandwiches, go get a check up to make as sure as possible your body is free of cancer cells.

Comment by Patricia on February 4, 2014 at 10:50pm

Very glad to report that my husband is checked every year!

The thing that would anger anyone would be not being told this test needs doing regularly as in the mammograms for women!

"All is well" & ''saving a few bucks'' just doesn't wash, & we already have to rely on the medical people to keep us informed of everything available as it is!

Everything being about money just makes me livid!!! 

Comment by Dr. Terence Meaden on February 4, 2014 at 10:32pm

The day the GP told me that I had prostate cancer I was polite and quiet with him while being so very angry inside. Not angry because of getting the cancer  because that was decided by a gene defect in my genome---so that was my destiny; but angry because every January I went voluntarily for a medical and every time I asked the GP to check me for everything including blood tests for everything. And every time I got a verbal message saying that all was well. I did not know that to save a few bucks he was omitting the PSA test. So suddenly one year (six years ago) he calls me in to report that a PSA test had been done and my PSA was a startling 34 (which rose to 42 over the next 4 months). I had had the cancer for three years without anyone knowing (the PSA number was doubling annually). The cancer is what they call locally advanced and I am swallowing pills that cost thousands every year. So I am angry---but not depressed. I have always been a supreme optimist and will fight this to the end. The latest news is that I have 5 years to go---and of course I am hoping that new pills will appear during this time period to lengthen this further. Do any of you others in this group have prostate cancer? 

Comment by Patricia on February 4, 2014 at 8:47pm

I came home the day of diagnosis & physically slapped my breast for betraying me, but then I knew I had to just get on with the drs. orders.

I am not naturally an upbeat, cheerful, positive, funny, sort of person, so I really have to work hard at it, & I guess it's been a little successful now & then.

Comment by booklover on February 4, 2014 at 7:12pm
Good Spud. Sometimes I think my way of thinking is bizarre! My mom and I "get" each other, but we tend to laugh and make fun of (not in any mean way) everything! Maybe seeing the weirdness of life and laughing because of it, and/or in spite of it, is our way of coping. We laugh together a LOT! Laughing feels good. :)
Comment by Idaho Spud on February 4, 2014 at 6:46pm

Doesn't sound morbid to me Mindy.

Comment by booklover on February 4, 2014 at 6:33pm
I know you know it's not your fault Daniel. It's a testament to your character that you feel bad for putting your partner through this with you. It's obvious he loves you and wants to take care of you, and wants you to take care of yourself.
This sounds horrible, but my mom and I have a goofy sense of humor. We were talking about how life can suck so much at times. I said it's like a big game where you just try not to die for as long as possible, balancing pleasure and risk, with healthy habits and safety measures, so that you can be happy and have as long a life as possible. Does that sound morbid?

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