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Coming Out...

I've noticed that a large number of you were religious at some point at your life, but at some point saw the light (or lack of it) and decided that no just and loving God presides over this wicked world (excuse my gloominess lol). I declared myself an Atheist around April 2010, but have not yet come out to my family and most of my friends. This is not out of fear but the embarassing fact that I still live at home and am slightly dependent on my parents. However, that will no longer be the case come this December and as a result I plan to make my confession around this time. I would like you all to share your stories of coming out to your family about abandoning your belief in fairies, umm... I mean God and turning to reason. Have you been rejected by former friends and/or family members just because you don't share their beliefs?

Thanks for taking the time to read, I'm looking forward to your replies. :)

Albert L. Terry, III

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Carolyn on June 28, 2011 at 9:17am

I'm glad that worked out for you! I share your sentiments as I too was pretty surprised about my friends' lack of negatively towards the news. Buuut, as I said previously, I don't hear from some folks as much as I used to, and they happen to be devout believers, so I wonder.... *hmmm*

Permalink Reply by Albert Terry on June 30, 2011 at 12:27pm

There's one that I'm actually sitting within speaking distance of right now that's been giving me the cold shoulder. She tried to politely explain to me how she and I, as a Heathen, were of unequal yoke and that we shouldn't be conversating. I then questioned her about the Bible saying to love thy neighbor as thy love thyself, to which she had no answer. I enjoyed the awkward silence.

Permalink Reply by Carolyn on June 30, 2011 at 2:00pm

The awkward, "my-argument-was-just-proven-to-be-inconsistent-thus-I-will-not-respond" silence irritates the shit out of me. I too enjoy it admittedly, but the believer on the opposing end is very much aware of the bible's contradictions. Yet and still, they'll continue to pray for their wishes and attend church. I don't mean to be harsh, but some believers (certainly not all) honestly appear to be too weak mentally/ intellectually to critically evaluate their religion. Any thoughts on this (anyone)???

Permalink Reply by L.Hunter on July 1, 2011 at 10:54am

I too wonder about the mental abilities of some believers. They consistently and persistently refuse to analyze their beliefs. This both frustrates and irritates me. However when we critize their beliefs we're the devil or not spiritually understanding the texts. It's so frustrating to listen to them yammer on about nonsense and the unseen. It's hard to remember what I was like when I was a believer, but after a while I woke up and saw the world for the way it is, not the way I wanted it to be.
I had this conversation with a friend recently. Most believers indulge in "wish thinking". They view the world through the magical lens of the bible and say that's the world we should live in. However they persistently refuse to look at the world and see how it really is. Once a person can do this, I believe they are on the road to recovery.

Permalink Reply by Carolyn on July 5, 2011 at 8:52am

Very well said L.Hunter. In my opinion, believers are basically living in a bubble out of fear. Something or some element must protect/ shelter/ guide them, even provide answers to their philosophical questions. Without this element, I believe they would feel lost and hopeless.

Permalink Reply by Albert Terry on July 2, 2011 at 7:35pm

I've noticed myself that faith and intellect are inversely related. I understand that it's hard for people to reject a belief system that was imposed upon them not long after birth and that they were taught not to question. But really, if people would look at their beliefs objectively instead of subjectively, they would realize that it makes no sense. God is mericful, but he's wrathful? God is all-knowing, but he gets angry (anger is an indication that an unexpected event has occurred)? Why does a supernatural being have any emotions at all? People dismiss all of the gods worshipped by the Mayans, the Greeks, the Romans, and even current gods outside of their own religion as myth, but what makes their god any more likely to exist than the thousands of others? In the 21st century, when we have knowledge of things that the founders of the Abrahamic religions couldn't have possibly known, people still rely on faith (the acceptance of a claim as truth without evidence supporting that claim) to answer life's questions. It's sad to say the least.

Permalink Reply by L.Hunter on July 3, 2011 at 6:44am

Well said.

Permalink Reply by Carolyn on July 5, 2011 at 8:57am

"People dismiss all of the gods worshipped by the Mayans, the Greeks, the Romans, and even current gods outside of their own religion as myth, but what makes their god any more likely to exist than the thousands of others?"

This is one of the top five problems I have with believers, especially Christians as they do this the most. Further, good point regarding supernatural beings having human emotions. Give me a break.

Permalink Reply by Crommunist on June 27, 2011 at 11:07am

I came out on Facebook, where I have lots of cousins and other family members. Not a peep from any of them (although a pianist I used to perform with gave me some god-babble when she found out). I later came out to my father, a former Catholic priest (albeit extremely liberal). His response: "Yeah, I know." Apparently I hadn't been hiding my gradual deconversion that well.

Then again, to provide some context: I came out at 25, after I had already been living on my own for 4 years. I live in Canada, where the stigma of atheism doesn't really exist in the same way as it does in the USA.

It sounds like you're still figuring stuff out if the lack of a deity is still a gloomy thought to you. I'd encourage you to read some of the more uplifting atheistic stuff (Carl Sagan is an obvious choice, but Douglas Adams never fails to amuse). It will help you form some positive beliefs that can be framed in terms of your nonbelief in that specific idea.

Permalink Reply by estevan on June 28, 2011 at 11:39am

Yeah, being Canadian doesn't count. Atheism is default over there. It's like being American and admitting you like hot dogs.

Permalink Reply by Albert Terry on June 30, 2011 at 12:35pm

You live in Canada, huh? Room for one more? Lol. The thought of there being no deity isn't as gloomy to me as it once was, the really depressing part is that so many people believe in this 3,000 year old fairy tale with men walking on water and standing in furnaces and such. I'll be looking up the authors you mentioned, but reading "god Is Not Great" by Christopher Hitchens and especially "Godless" by Dan Barker have given me some positive reinforcement. There isn't a more positive feeling that challenging a theist on their belief and watching them flounder against simple questions of logic. Hehehe :)

Permalink Reply by Maurisio Santiago on July 2, 2011 at 10:42pm

Just do it when you feel as if the time is right. You'll be surprised how many family and friends will agreed with your non belief. Quite a few people are just afraid to admit it. I knew it was time to "come out" when my then 14 year old daughter declared her non belief. Coming out allowed me to protect her from those family members and friends that tried to attack her with faith based nonsense.

My advise to you Terry is to be real to yourself, and truthful to others. It's the only way to go.