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Can atheist brothas be faulted for looking for love outside their race?

First off dont get me wrong, whoever one chooses to love is certainly their business, and I have no problems with inter-racial couples. I myself have dated outside my race in the past, and would have no concerns about doing so again. However, truth be told I would love to find a sista, (woman of color-from wherever) who was atheist,or at the very least maybe spiritual but not religious. Talk about needle in the haystack! Maybe one that actually lives in my city, or state (we all cant relocate). Usually w/ sista's upon hearing my belifes, or lack thereof, 'the party's over". Which is not a bad thing I, since I certainly could not deal with the whole xtian mindset, customs yatta, yatta. I am not a god-fearing man and am very proud of it! At the same time there seem to be more white women for whom it is not a concern. So would I be settling? I mean, you fall in love with, who you fall in love with. Maybe I just feel my sista's eyes already rollin at me, just for the thought of it. But hey, a brotha cant wait "forever" for yall to come around.

Not patiently waiting.

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Kenneth James on April 28, 2010 at 2:46pm

My brother, this situation is truly the curse of an enlightened and freethinking black man. Personally I sometimes wish I were more physically attracted to white women. Good luck, maybe "de good lawd" will send you a good black atheist sista.

Permalink Reply by Kenneth James on April 28, 2010 at 2:52pm

Mr. Muntu, I see you are in Dallas, so I know you are dealing with demographics which are similar to the ones here in Atlanta.

Permalink Reply by Dean Smith on April 28, 2010 at 5:18pm

My last gf was a bisexual pagan who loves anime' (a lot, her toddler is half-Japanese). We weren't that good a match, but she never gave me grief about my atheism.

Permalink Reply by J.Muntu on April 28, 2010 at 7:22pm

Thx Dean, I find it interesting that we face ridicule for not believing in sky gods, talking snakes, boats that hold two of every animal on this earth ( what about the insects?), and the rest of the ridiculousness. Good luck on your search.

Permalink Reply by Jenkins on April 28, 2010 at 6:26pm

Dallas is a good place to work, But finding a good Atheist woman is out of the question. I was lucky enough to find a woman that I knew from California and she is ok with it. But she still goes to church every Sunday and over time is getting more into her church, alter duty. I'm now looking any and everywhere to find someone else. I think part of the problem is a church on every block.

Permalink Reply by J.Muntu on April 28, 2010 at 7:16pm

Well you can say that again! I definitely feel I'm in the wrong part of the country, for my mentality anyway. I mean, I pretty sure I'm not alone, and that there are some enlightened sistas out here (one of which helped me get to this point) but I'm thinking of resorting to drastic measures like wearing a t-shirt stating "I'm a single atheist... and looking", or a billboard or something. I've joined a atheist meetup group but, low and behold, no sista's. Well ok, one but she was like 50 something frm the east coast (she was real cool though,and she stated I was the 1st atheist blk man she had met, funny huh!) I know we dont always get what we want but, there is no way I can, or would ever want to go back to a xtian way of thought, so with that I certainly can not se me dealing w/ a mate who is in that frame of mind. Living in the bible belt is hard enough, w/o having to debate (which I probably would) w/ my mate on the subject.

Permalink Reply by J.Muntu on April 28, 2010 at 7:23pm

Ok now I know we have a good number of sista's on this site soo... Dont hold your tongue ;)

Permalink Reply by J.Muntu on May 1, 2010 at 10:56pm

There we go I knew there were some great comments coming from the sista's. You caused me to realize the woman I am looking for is possibly going through the same thing;not that this brings her any closer, or makes me any more patient. I will definitely keep a look out for open minded women who are not trying to get me baptized lol. Understand though, this is the bible belt.

Permalink Reply by Self Know on May 1, 2010 at 8:13am

I can't even tell you how many black women have dumped me over the fact that I don't believe in a GOD!! I'm always getting black women who are down for sex and just chillin, but a real relation with a non-theist? Sheeeet!! They ain't having it!! So I hooked up with a white girl who is becoming skeptical of religion, but could fall back into it at any time I guess. It just is what it is... Fuck what someone inside or outside your circle thinks though. We only live once and we're all human beings anyway. PEACE!!

Permalink Reply by J.Muntu on May 1, 2010 at 11:01pm

Man I could not of said it better. Like I said I have no problem really w/dating a white chick, but ultimately I know I wasnt a sista- Just not a xtian one, though I'm starting to think there not made any other way. I'll try not to belive my lying eyes.

Permalink Reply by Navitta Nelson on November 4, 2011 at 9:48am

Well, us Sistaz, have the same problem!!! I don't find many White dudes attractive and we usually don't have a whole hell of a lot in common, but...I don't rule them out.

Permalink Reply by Rayven on May 1, 2010 at 10:15pm

Not all of us rolled our eyes. LOL. I suggest singles sites or freethought organizations and gatherings near you. You may meet someone at a freethought gathering who knows someone that may be a religiously liberal so you won't have all the drama about your non-belief. And I don't think you would be settling *I also married a white guy so my opinion is bias lol*, you have to find someone you click with. If non-belief *or at least acceptance of your non-belief* is one of the most important things in a relationship for you, then you aren't settling. You are just setting a standard for yourself and acknowledging what it takes to be happy in a relationship.