My Thoughts

So, I'm counting on the assumption that since this is a group for atheist bisexuals, you will probably be about the most open-minded (at least on some level) group of people that I'm going to find anywhere.

While I think I'm pretty open about things, and I'm typically not afraid of offending people or being rejected by people, this is one of the few topics that I don't feel like anyone I know can really relate to me on, and I'm hoping that at least some of you will be able to understand my point of view.

I'm not sure what I would label myself, because I have yet to meet or hear of anyone who shares my thoughts on the issue.  I guess bisexual or pansexual would be the closest to describing myself.
Before I start offending people, (which I can hopefully avoid) I want to clarify that I neither consider myself any sort of expert regarding anything I'm about to say, nor claim to know or understand how any other individual feels about the subject.

First, I think it's somewhat important to mention that I have never been in a serious relationship, and I've never had sex.  It's not that I've never wanted to, or that I've never had the opportunity, I just haven't really found anyone who I've really feel comfortable with in that way, so I guess I just haven't met the right person or something.

I guess what I really want to say, and what all these disclaimers are leading up to, is that I just don't see what all the fuss is about regarding gender.  I don't think that gender has any impact whatsoever on how I feel about a person, and I think it's rather ignorant to assume that you could never be attracted to or have certain feelings regarding another person simply because they are of a certain gender.

I understand how someone could tend to be attracted to a certain kind of person, and how people with certain characteristics which someone admires could tend to be of a certain gender, but that is entirely different from just blocking out half of the population cause they've got the wrong thing in their pants.

I'm not saying that I think people are lying to themselves or anything stupid like that, I'm just saying that I, personally, do not understand it.  I certainly respect everyone's different opinion or preference, so please don't think I'm trying to criticize anyone for that, I'm just telling you how I feel, and I guess my perception of others is part of that.

This is just something I've really wanted to say for a long time, and it feels good to get it out.  There is actually a lot more I'd like to say regarding my own personal feelings about the subject, but I don't want to drown everyone in my endless stream of ranting text.  I just wonder if this is something you've heard a thousand times over, or if you've never heard it before at all, and I'm interested in what others think.

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Nick Blair on August 1, 2010 at 4:11pm
That makes since, but I do think that people have more influence over how they respond to certain stimuli (sexual, emotional or otherwise) than society gives them credit for. Sure, if you are used to reacting to people a certain way, you won't be able to make an immediate change, but over time you can certainly train yourself to react differently in certain situations.

I guess I wonder if it is possible that people who would otherwise be open to relationships with persons of another gender have closed themselves off to it by repressing (consciously or otherwise) their feelings for certain groups of people (especially at a younger age when they might be more influenced by society, etc.)

I'm not saying I think that is necessarily the case, I'm just saying that I wouldn't be surprised if more people could be open to either gender but are pressured to identify as either "gay" or "strait" which is, of course, a false dichotomy.
Permalink Reply by Prog Rock Girl on August 1, 2010 at 4:18pm
Some people are less rigidly categorized than we are led to think. Since I mentioned that I like man on man action a lot of guys on OKcupid or other places have admitted some interesting things to me about what they have done or wanted to do. They probably don't admit this openly, though.

A lot of bisexuals feel the same way, that it's about a person, not about what equipment they have. I've felt like that too, although anymore there are certain features about men, and certain features about women, that I am attracted to.

I look on sexual orientation as the same as taste in anything else. Some people like certain colors. Some people are cat people or dog people. Some people are straight, or gay, or both/neither. None of these tastes are set in stone forever.
Permalink Reply by Fae (fay) Koay (koi) on August 2, 2010 at 2:55am
i feel that being Bisexual or anything else for the matter usually means they don't care upon gender. if they like someone for their personality and just how they (like mike says) are neurologically wired that way. i personally think if your bisexual, you have an excuse to hit on, hook up with, or flirt with any (and every) good looking person !

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