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Started by Heather McIntosh. Last reply by Tom Sarbeck Sep 8. 503 Replies

Do I have to get married to be with a woman?

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Where is everyone?

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To settle or not to settle

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Why are you single?

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Loneliness and Self-Pity

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Arriving on time

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Intentional Communities and Synthetic Families

Started by Keith Brian Johnson Jan 1, 2013. 0 Replies

Atheist Dating Service

Started by Steph S.. Last reply by Bud the Wonderer Dec 11, 2012. 26 Replies

Facebook: You Are What You Post!

Started by Robert Affinis. Last reply by Kalliope Wörter Nov 28, 2012. 7 Replies

Pretty close to done.

Started by Xtian Cousineau. Last reply by Joseph P Oct 13, 2012. 8 Replies

How far is too far?

Started by Harridan20. Last reply by Tonya Wynn Oct 13, 2012. 14 Replies

Can You Love Someone With A Religious Faith?

Started by Maruli Marulaki. Last reply by MolotovDerp Aug 23, 2012. 23 Replies

How do you cope with the criticism of religious people?

Started by Heather Geraghty. Last reply by MolotovDerp Aug 23, 2012. 115 Replies

To Date or Not to Date: Should Religion be a Dealbreaker?

Started by Shannon Equality Barber. Last reply by Shannon Equality Barber Aug 8, 2012. 4 Replies

Word or Puzzle Game

Started by Harridan20. Last reply by brian Jun 27, 2012. 3 Replies

looking for a pen-pal

Started by Peter Nothnagle Jun 24, 2012. 0 Replies

Ok, so I think I'm an atheist nun....lol

Started by Kelly M. Last reply by Harridan20 Jun 23, 2012. 182 Replies

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Comment by LauraP on January 19, 2011 at 12:18pm

My standard comment to an attack like that by a Christian is "Oh, come now, that doesn't sound very Christian.”

Comment by Katie Ranting Redhead Smith on January 19, 2011 at 12:00pm

Well, I guess it's a lie to make it look like I ALWAYS got attacked for being atheist, but when I was, it was pretty bad.  I was called a fat pig, a stupid cunt, a retard that will get what's coming to her, etc., all by "religious" men. 

 

Once in a while, I was complimented for being "bold" enough to put my beliefs out there, but was subsequently rejected for them. 

 

"Wow, it's really brave that you tell people you're an atheist!  I'm impressed....but I'm a devout Christian, so good luck to you!"  Blugh

 

Most of the emails I got were just from.....unacceptable people.

Comment by Jaime Martinez on January 19, 2011 at 10:31am
I've tried the online dating profiles and I really didn't have much success. I guess I'm not really the type that is comfortable trying to pick up someone online. Also as a guy and an atheist it is really hard to even get a girls attention without being extra funny or just plain not being myself, at least online anyways.
Comment by Orson_Zedd on January 19, 2011 at 10:29am
Hey Katie, I'll comment on both your comments.

Firstly, the people who aren't really religious doing religious things in times of crisis is probably a... I don't know if this is the right word for this... internalization of religion. Basically, I mean, it's a part of their world view, something they assume everyone believes, whether or not they actually do. For similar reasons a lot of believers think atheists believe in their god, and are just being spoiled children.

As for your other point, thankfully I have not. It's weird that you have, actually. I guess there are more violently religious men than women, perhaps? Not to stereotype, just a hypothesis.
Comment by LauraP on January 19, 2011 at 10:13am

I’ve only been single for a little while (4 months, divorce isn’t even final yet, was married for 9 years) so I haven’t had anyone trying to convert me yet. I had one even say I was brave to state I was Atheist and another guy said he puts himself down as Baptist to keep from running women off. I’m in Dallas and I would think I’d get the same as in GA. I try to be humorous so I think that softens it. And the site I’m active on seems to have lots of Atheists (OKCupid), so I really haven’t gotten anyone trying to convert me… yet.

 

I also find I can deal with some brands of theists better than others. I find Pagans the least objectionable. But then as a friend pointed out, Pagan rarely try to convert. Their view usually is: If it isn't your path, it isn't your path.

Comment by Katie Ranting Redhead Smith on January 19, 2011 at 9:15am

OH!  Here's another question.  I used to have profiles on a lot of online dating sites, but I gave up on that too.  How many of you have done all of the following:

-had dating profiles online

-listed yourself as atheist

-gotten more emails from people bitching about you, making fun of you, or criticizing you for being atheist than you got from people wanting to date you?

 

I dunno, maybe it's just me because I'm in GA......

 

Comment by Katie Ranting Redhead Smith on January 19, 2011 at 9:13am

Frankly, I've kinda given up on non-atheists.  I dunno, maybe there are some agnostics, Jews, or Buddhists I could deal with, but definitely no Christians or Muslims.  For some reason, those last two are particularly toxic brands of the dessert dogma and even those that call themselves "non-religious" cling to it at the core.  My mother, for example, is "Catholic" but has to be one of the most secular people I know....never goes to church, never prays, doesn't agree with the pope on anything, etc., but when my dad was in the hospital, she was practically begging for people to pray for us.  She said the kids at the Catholic school I attended where she substitutes were all praying for us and that's why he got better, "because God hears the prayers of children louder than those of adults."

 

....

 

Oh, and she also vehemently refuses to eat meat on Fridays in lent. 

 

Honestly, if they haven't really let go of god, I won't be able to deal with it.  On a friendship level, I give everyone a chance, but on a romantic level, no way. 

Comment by LauraP on January 19, 2011 at 8:45am
 

Zel - Can I use her response and just change the last word to Christian??? Because that is how I feel. Of course in my profile I say that I do not reply to people that are listed as Christian (unless they tell me they are willing to convert… LOL). So they should expect no response.

Comment by T Rose on January 18, 2011 at 11:29pm
@Zel Morris... I ignore emails from guys I don't think I have anything in common with but I've heard guys complain and say they'd rather get a "no thank you" than not hear from someone they've written to.

Then again, I've written to guys and didn't hear a word back so I figure there's something they're not interested in and them not writing back is their (and my) way of saying "no thank you."

This lady felt she had to give you a reason which is...interesting. I mean, there have been plenty of times I'd check out some guy who'd written to me and I'd see in his profile that he was Christian or self-identified as "Catholic" so I'd simply ignore his email asking for contact. I'd never think to respond back saying what this lady said.

It's actually a tough call. In one way, you gotta appreciate her honesty and the fact that she even bothered to write back and on the other hand, she wasn't exactly nice about saying what she said. She could have said, "I don't think we're a match due to our religious beliefs/non-beliefs." So, right there you know you're not exactly dealing with a cool person.

My advice is to cut your losses and don't let it bother you. I understand you're upset about being rejected due to your atheism but I embrace mine and, like this lady, could never, not would I ever date a theist.

As for a witty response back to her, I dunno. Personally, I wouldn't respond at all even if I could think of a witty response. She probably thinks she's helping you by letting you know you're being rejected due to your atheism in the hopes that someday you'll "see the light" and convert.


"Whatever you into, your woman
gotta be into, too, and vice versa...
or the shit ain't gonna work.
lt ain't gonna work.
That's right. lf you born-again,
your woman gotta be born-again, too.
lf you a crackhead,
your woman gotta be a crackhead, too...
or the shit won't work.
You can't be like, ''l'm going to church,
where you going?'' ''Hit the pipe!''
That relationship ain't going nowhere.
Two crackheads can stay together forever."

Chris Rock / Bigger and Blacker
Comment by Patrick on January 18, 2011 at 10:02pm
by 'seeing' i mean fucking.
 

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