This question was asked before by another member of Atheist Nexus who, unfortunately, left the site about 6 months ago. When he left, his discussions went with him. (I hate that about Ning.) That is too bad, really, because that topic received more responses than any other discussion thread on A|N that I have ever seen -- well over 400, I believe.

Well, I don't plan on leaving A|N anytime soon, so I'm going to ask that question all over again. We've had a lot of new members since the first time, so this will be a good chance for all the new faces, and some of the old, to vent once again about why they are single.

So, why are you single?

Tags: atheist singles, companionship, dating, lovers, partners, romance, single, singles

Views: 2276

Replies to This Discussion

It could be my suspected Asperger's or something, but my ex-husband would complain a lot about how I never expressed my feelings and that he never felt loved. I think I loved him as much as I have ever loved anyone, probably still do, but I find putting feelings to words about as easy as giving sounds a colour, so he finally filed for divorce two years ago, and it became final a year ago.

I thought it would be horrible and frightening to be alone (and in my own apartment - he kept the house), but I find I live a very different and personally fulfilling life every other week when I don't have the kids; I love having them here, but I have discovered "me-time" in the past few years, and am not very likely to give it up. My ex can be controlling, and is the most passive-aggressive person I have ever come across, so being free of that is also a surprising relief.
Sounds pretty Asperger's from here.
Why am I single? Numero Uno........I love my own uninterupted company. 35 years ago when I got divorced I was miserable, lonely and frightened. I knew I would have to start looking at all the positives about my new circumstances so I did. I was free to do what I wanted when I wanted and do it any which way I wanted. I could stay up all night; I could eat whatever I wanted. There was no one to report in to -I was totally my own person. My friends and co-workers were for the most part, prisoners to one degree or another........not me. No more of that for this gal. My life was relatively rid of all the resentments, all the worry and fretting about how the "other person" would feel or think. And there's not a day goes by that I don't relish my life. Now that the cosmic bellhop is out of the picture my life is truly calm and maybe freedom IS "just another word for nothing left to lose" or should I say noONE left to lose.

I'm an artist, an American History fiend, and a huge Oklahoma Thunder fan. I follow lots of sports but my favorite is golf. I love movies and music. I work for the Federal Govt but I am getting ready to retire in the next two or three years.........so you see my life is quite full w/o anyone else in it.
My friends and co-workers were for the most part, prisoners to one degree or another........

My first 'career' was working for the airlines, where I took full advantage of the free travel benefits. I lost count of how many female coworkers told me, "Oh that's so great that you can do all this traveling now while you're young and single."

A) I wasn't aware there is an age limit to traveling. What, you hit 40 and a force field goes up, locking you in place?

B) When and if I get married it will be to someone who either respects or more likely shares in my interests, including travel. Those same women would smirk at the fact that I'm now 42 and never married - obviously having set my standards way too high. I say as much as it sucks sometimes on a primal level to go to bed alone, it sure beats the hell out of 'settling.'
I am separated pending legal dissolution of marriage.

I will probably remain single because of my age, financial status, children, and my personality quirks. There is an unspoken agreement between me and the world at large which I have summarized with a tongue in cheek philosophy: It would be irresponsible for me to begin a relationship with anyone who would have anything to do with me : )
Anyone I could fall in love with would be distressed by the complexities I bring to the table; I could not in good conscience claim to care deeply for someone and subject them to my shortcomings.

The romantic in me sees something bittersweet in this course.
I dont feel cursed... its more like challenged by the continuous negative assertions from the forces governing the universe : D
Its good to know Im not alone in this
Tsk tsk.
unless you have a habit of eating your mates, how bad could you be?
I'm single, in short, because my husband died. But it really involves more than that, since he died more than 5 years ago. I was also engaged to someone who turned out to be a raging alcoholic. I tried to "fix" him for 2 years and finally got him out of my life with the help of the police.

I've had no problem meeting and dating men in the last 1.5 years, since the ex-fiance left, but no one has been the right match for the long term (or even the 4 month term LOL). I recently became comfortable with the fact that I like my life as it is, and I do not need a mate. That is precisely how I felt when I was 20-something and started dating my future husband. I now have a lot of friends, a busy social life, and a high pressure job. If I find someone who fits my life and adds to it, that would be great. But I don't NEED to find a mate to make my life wonderful. It already is wonderful.
Bully for you - on so many levels!
Because I'm not sure how to be in a relationship. Being the only atheist I know in my immediate family there are no examples I can reflect on. I've never been married and I come from a divorced family. I don't like the traditional examples of marriage since it is so deeply involved in religion. Where I live there is very few people who I would consider a possible partner in life since most are religious. Man this sounds depressing. Help.
I'm single because I'm picky.

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