Why are you single?

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Jarrell on January 2, 2010 at 10:42pm

There are a few reasons I can think of...

Recent relationships have left an impression on me.

I have been a loner most of my life anyhow, why should that change now?

Future plans, such as joining the Peace Corps and obtaining my graduate degree out of state.

Plus I find social situations awkward and really don't know how to make small talk, but even when I do I find most girls aren't really attracted to the conversations I find interesting. I guess I am just to much of a nerd.

Permalink Reply by Dallas the Phallus on January 3, 2010 at 6:20pm

Plus I find social situations awkward and really don't know how to make small talk, but even when I do I find most girls aren't really attracted to the conversations I find interesting. I guess I am just to much of a nerd.

I empathize, Jarell. I have that exact same problem. Most people don't want to discuss anyting compelling, they just want to complain. Not that that is always a bad thing. I do it to, so I can't be all high and mighty about that, but there are other things to talk about.

Permalink Reply by Jarrell on January 4, 2010 at 12:22am

Very true

Permalink Reply by Jo Jerome on January 4, 2010 at 12:36pm

-Most younger women won't date me because of my age eventhough I look younger.

I can relate. Got the gene that will always make me look a decade or two younger than I am. Hasn't been a dating issue yet, but it's getting there. I crush on a guy only to learn he's like 10 years younger than me. :-/

And on the baggage-laden folks ... *Shudder*. I'm happy to be a shoulder to cry on but I'm no therapist.

Permalink Reply by Jo Jerome on January 31, 2010 at 9:25pm

Most of the women who are attracted to me are either fat, homely looking, or aren't that bright.

Well, if we count halfways on the first two, I can offer two out of the three.

;-)

Permalink Reply by Rachel Melinek on January 4, 2010 at 4:55pm

I am single because my ex decided he wanted to go and travel the world and I wanted to stay here and concentrate on having a career. He is going to Libya for six months at the end of Jan so I feel that I made the right choice in spliting up with him.

Permalink Reply by Karina on January 9, 2010 at 4:16pm

Personally, I've stopped wondering why. I just try to keep in mind the fact that if I weren't single, I would occasionally find myself wishing I didn't have to put up with someone else's snoring and farting, especially since I have been single for soooo long and am not really used to sharing a lot of my personal space or decisions. (Sorry, I know this is oversimplifying the matter, but the nasty bits are also part of the whole relationship deal.)

I think it all boils down to no more than a handful of factors: personality, beliefs/interests, geography, and the effort you put into dating. Each--or all--of those things might play against you and you end up stacking up on frozen dinners for one or playing solitaire into the wee hours of the night.

I went through a lot of hardship and grief to finally come to terms with who I am, what I want, and the kind of partner I would like to be with. I remain optimistic and keep actively looking for someone, with a very practical approach (it's not really that different from interviewing for a job opening after all, is it?).

The fact that I have found somebody yet doesn't mean that I will remain single for the rest of my life, and even if I do, I'll still have my books, my music, my pet, my friends, my travels, my family, my profession and all the good things life is made of.

Permalink Reply by Karina on January 9, 2010 at 4:45pm

Sorry, my last paragraph was supposed to read:

"The fact that I haven't found somebody yet doesn't mean that I will remain single for the rest of my life, and even if I do, I'll still have my books, my music, my pet, my friends, my travels, my family, my profession and all the good things life is made of.

Permalink Reply by Jo Jerome on January 12, 2010 at 3:12pm

if I weren't single, I would occasionally find myself wishing I didn't have to put up with someone else's snoring and farting,

LOL! Well said. I have a friend right now on the brink of divorce, dealing with tons of drama with in-laws and such.

In addition to having to compete for the remote, sleep time, and the larger decisions of life.

I found myself reminding myself; don't let loneliness push me somewhere I don't want to be. I've turned down many a date because I can see it will only lead to no good (like, and especially, if the guy is religious).

Permalink Reply by Matt on January 17, 2010 at 4:01pm

I'm told I'm picky. I not attracted unless we can have deep conversations and really be able to discuss thoughts ideas both logical and emotional aspects. Lets face it.... most theists will not work for me although there have been a few rare ones, When I've found found myself really attracted to a girl it's not always seen the same way for them. So I just don't go beyond dating and cool friends very often. It's mostly mind for me. I love a great mind

Permalink Reply by Jo Jerome on January 18, 2010 at 10:55pm

I'm with ya on that Matt. Not that I go into a date with wedding bells in mind, but I also don't want to waste my time with something that has no chance in hell of being anything deeper than ooh-you-have-cute-eyes.

Permalink Reply by Heather on June 15, 2010 at 2:48am

I'm with you on this. If I can't connect with someone intellectually, it just isn't going to work.

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