The World’s Largest Coalition of Nontheists and Nontheist Communities!

Why are you single?

This question was asked before by another member of Atheist Nexus who, unfortunately, left the site about 6 months ago. When he left, his discussions went with him. (I hate that about Ning.) That is too bad, really, because that topic received more responses than any other discussion thread on A|N that I have ever seen -- well over 400, I believe.

Well, I don't plan on leaving A|N anytime soon, so I'm going to ask that question all over again. We've had a lot of new members since the first time, so this will be a good chance for all the new faces, and some of the old, to vent once again about why they are single.

So, why are you single?

Tags: atheist singles, companionship, dating, lovers, partners, romance, single, singles

0 members like this

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Kira on October 2, 2009 at 5:31am

The sad reason why I'm still single: the guy I like only likes me "as a friend". That's the story of my life!

Permalink Reply by Larry Smith on October 4, 2009 at 5:15pm

Married and divorced. Don't meet a lot of singles my age at work and don't have any other avenues to meet singles. Women in dating sites either ignore me (guess my intro is not intriguing enough) or expect instant chemistry which leads them to give up after one meeting/telephone call. Kinda used to being alone by now.

Permalink Reply by Dallas the Phallus on October 4, 2009 at 8:05pm

...or expect instant chemistry...

I know exactly what you mean. What do people expect from these sites. Getting to know someone takes effort. You have to ask questions, and feel out the situation. Most people don't have that kind of patience. It's as if they expect to know instantly if you're right for them. My experience with dating sites has been abysmal.

Permalink Reply by Dallas the Phallus on October 5, 2009 at 11:44am

I think that only works if you're good looking (not trying to imply anything about your Larry, one way or the other). That doesn't work for me. :(

Permalink Reply by Tracy Donahue on October 12, 2009 at 10:00pm

I haven't found a guy worth giving up being single for. Single life is hassle free, I hope one day I'll meet a guy that's worth the hassle (& one that thinks I am worth the hassle).

Permalink Reply by Kylyssa Shay on October 13, 2009 at 1:33pm

I'm single because I wasn't born with my twin attached to me. I don't buy into the two-become-one mythology. Two become two-who-walk-together for a time. And for me, it's OK to involve more than just two for the walk.

Actually, I'm not what most of society considers single. I'm in an open relationship which I hope lasts a lifetime. So, I guess, technically, "dating" and "looking" might be better terms for me than "single" is.

Permalink Reply by Dallas the Phallus on October 14, 2009 at 8:59am

I don't have a problem with that at all. But I also acknowledge that different people want and need different things.

I don't think that we ever become "one" with another person, not completely. But some companionship sure would be nice, IMO.

Permalink Reply by Jo Jerome on October 13, 2009 at 4:26pm

"shy, introverted, and autistic"

If you haven't stumbled on it yet (and are interested), there's a fairly new group here:

Asperger Atheists.

Permalink Reply by Jason Spicer on October 15, 2009 at 1:27pm

Jacqueline, I suspect the negative response to putting your IQ in the ad was because that can come across as bragging. Probably better to mention your intellectual pursuits as things you enjoy. That way, they are attractive to those who share them, but just look like unappealing hobbies to those who don't. Of course, I have no empirical research to back this up. :)

Permalink Reply by Jason Spicer on October 15, 2009 at 2:12pm

Well, you might not think of your intellectual pursuits as hobbies, but you could list them in that box in an ad. I still think that would warn off the undesirables and attract people who might appreciate your intellect. And hell, Bill Gates is a college dropout. Degrees are important, but life happens.

Permalink Reply by Nate on October 15, 2009 at 1:13pm

I believe that this denigrating, wrong-headed prejudice is based on a poor (and limited) understanding of what it takes to live the uncertain life of the committed artist and of what it takes, year after year after year, to produce effective, engaging art, whether it be a poem, a painting, a fugue, a fiber hanging, a theater piece, a glazed bowl, or a novel.

Good points. It could also stem from jealousy. Perceiving the artist to be free, the denigration could be a projection of their own frustration with the "straight" life.

Permalink Reply by Jo Jerome on October 14, 2009 at 6:11pm

I've wound up with several artists in and around my circle of peers. Yes, most do fit a particular persona-type of flaky and/or New Agey and/or hippie-ish. But not all. One such friend is about as NASCAR, pickup-trucks, redneck as it gets.

And many are academically talented. In fact I find some of the best artists are people looking for an outlet for that uber-IQ.

:-)