Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Michael on October 11, 2011 at 4:21pm

Maruli: You are a very exceptional person. 

 

Jonel: I agree completely.  I was surprised that there are so many females who are rabid football & baseball fans (I can't stand sports) and I get the same crap that you do, regarding stupid attempts to disguise the obvious.

Yes, I understand that it's human nature to lie, but I wish they would at least bother to do it well. 

Permalink Reply by Joseph P on October 11, 2011 at 5:30pm

"I just don't feel anything special or magical between us."

"There's just no spark with our relationship."

(Means: I don't feel like I'm winning a prize by talking to you.)

Eh, maybe; maybe not.  Don't you remember getting the light-headed, tunnel-vision effect when you're with someone, because you're so deliriously infatuated?  Those guys are probably just coming down off of the hormones of their teen years and don't realize that that doesn't have to happen for a girl to be worth dating and being with.

They're immature, certainly, but perhaps not lying.  They have this absurd concept of falling in love that only lasts until their body develops a resistance to the new hormones.

 

Either way, though, they're emotionally retarded, and you don't want to date them.

 

And the best one:

"I have many levels, and you only have a few."

(Means: I think you're shallow for not realizing that I deserve a better-looking sex partner)

What the fuck does that even mean?  Did the guy specifically use the word 'levels'?  Maybe he's a WoW nerd.

 

I -was giving- them a chance to say "oh yeah I totally love Doctor Who and Stargate." or something--but nope. Just bitched at me and said I was a whore most of the time. Ah well.

Yeah, you seriously need to get away from Alabama.  Too many rednecks per capita.

Permalink Reply by Jonel Burge on October 11, 2011 at 6:13pm

Maruili: See, I'm the exact opposite. I have no problem with tattoos, piercings, shaving, or growing beards or grooming facial hair into a soul patch or whatever. I have guaged ears and I want a tattoo eventually.

I wouldn't like for a guy to reject me because I dye my hair or wear a bra.

 

Joseph: He wasn't a WoW nerd, and some of these guys passed puberty 7 years ago and still replied like that. It's not an excuse, and yeah, I don't need to date them anyways, but I wish they -weren't- emotionally the age of a 12 year old boy, you know?

And yeah, I need to move out of Alabama. The amount of people who assume I'll have sex with them because "fat girls enjoy any attention whatsoever because they never get any."--it's exponentially higher here. Which is sad, because we're actually one of the fattest states--and yet we're also one of the states that treats fat people less like 'real humans'.

Permalink Reply by Maruli Marulaki on October 11, 2011 at 6:21pm

Naturalness is not about looks.  It is the contrary.  It is a very important personality trait.   Naturalness means, that somebody does not bother to waste any time, money or effort on his exterior.   A natural person prefers to cultivate the mind, the intellect.   Naturalness means to prefer to look into a book and not into a mirror.   So I am looking for a partner, who shares naturalness.

Permalink Reply by Jonel Burge on October 11, 2011 at 6:37pm

Maruli: I think the right word you're looking for is "Intellectual"--naturalness would imply that he's not using deodorant, doesn't shave or groom, and doesn't use products that he hasn't made himself--think hippie. Naturalistic would be akin to how a nudist is. Now, body modification--and you seem to be bundling basic hygiene like haircuts and soap use into body modification, which makes no sense to me--in with intellectual and bookishness, which they have nothing to do with one another and are mutually exclusive--you can be intellectual and have body piercings, and you can be completely 'natural' and not even read the label for your hemp shoes. Being 'natural' is completely seperate from what you're looking for, and outward appearance has nothing to do with the mental state of someone.

 

I'm sorry if I seem a bit harsh, but this is a major pet peeve of mine. I've had a ton of people assume that I'm stupid(IQ of 144), lazy(I actually run the house for my mom, who works full time), and that I go through buckets of frosting each day(I cannot TELL you the last time I had desserts--last night was grilled cheese and fresh apples). This is assumed because that's what they see when they look at me. It's been assumed that I don't read, and that I am basically the representation of fat people on the news---a  headless body with a gaping maw that shovels up everything in sight. It's completely ignorant, arrogant, and belittles me as a human being.

Tying in someone's 'body modifications'(if they cut their hair and use deodorant) with them being intellectual is wrong--naturalness does not apply to mindfulness, intellect, or intelligence--it's tied closer to a fashion statement than a philosophical movement.

So you can say you want a guy without body modifications, who doesn't use deodorant, non-natural clothes, and doesn't eat non-natural foods--but keep that seperate from the proper definition of your second thing:

Intelligence, scholarship, bookishness, philosopher: Reads a lot, thinks a lot, ponders life, it's questions, and it's mysteries.

I've met too many hippies who are empty-headed to assume that all people who don't use deodorant are philosophers. There's plenty of people with tattoos and are 'non-natural' who are deep and intellectual people. You don't get to tie in being a hippie with having a high intellect--those are two separate things.

 

Ironically definition 34 of "Natural" is "an idiot".

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/naturalness

Permalink Reply by Maruli Marulaki on October 11, 2011 at 6:48pm

Body-modification changes the body, shaving is a body-modfication.   Cleaning, hygiene and deo does not change anything. 

Intellectual does not include the preference, what is wasted time.   So whatever word would be right, I like people, who for intellectual reasons do not waste time and money on modifying their body.  

Hygiene is consideration for others.    Not being bothered about modifying the body is a strictly personal choice, which I appreciate in a man. 

 

Permalink Reply by Brandon Captain on December 30, 2011 at 3:38pm

I'm either too picky or there just plain isn't anyone out there for me. The things I look for in a woman are pretty basic, but finding them all in one person ... well, it's never happened.

One of them is intelligence, and I don't just mean being an atheist. I mean really being actually smart, having interests and hobbies in some art or science. Most of the women I've met in my life literally do nothing except watch TV or go to the bar. I can't be with a girl who's prime motivation is to "go shopping." I'd rather die in my sleep by asphyxiating on my own vomit then spend my life with someone that bores the hell out of me and has nothing to talk about that I even remotely want to hear.

Another thing I want in someone is a humor that works with my own. I've got a quirky sense of humor, and finding people that think I'm funny is rare. Rarer still are people that *I* find funny. Humor is one of the most important things to me in life.

Another thing I require in a mate is that she be loyal. I once met someone that I thought was perfect for me - she was really smart, close to graduating from a university with a degree in microbiology. She was gorgeous, and made me laugh like nobody I'd ever known; and to top it all off she was atheist. She was perfect... until she cheated on her bf with me. It was a complicated matter, but I deluded myself into thinking that it was forgivable because I wanted to be with her. Sine then I've been leery of everyone. Loyalty is an absolute requirement.

And so lastly, we have to be attracted to one another - obviously. I shouldn't have to explain that one lol.

So all combined, these *basic* things I need makes finding "miss right" just plain impossible.

Permalink Reply by JF on January 21, 2012 at 3:03am

I'm single because I live in the USA....its just safer. I bought into the marriage stuff for about 8 years, but then my ex wanted to live like Lohan while we had kids...sooooo out the door I went. Been single for about 4 or 5 years now, and its been kind to me.

Permalink Reply by TJ Roberts on March 19, 2012 at 4:20pm

Because with every partner I've ever had, feminism and opportunism leaves me behind in the dust for some guy with a bigger bank account.  Never had someone stick with me through the rough times.  Oh well.  

Permalink Reply by Atheist on April 6, 2012 at 11:29pm

We all go through that women want a guy with money and men want a model trophy. With society the way it is I'm not surprised by the amount of Atheist's married or in a relationsip with religious people because Atheist's are so rare to find because we hide due to the sigma attached to being an atheist. So we find comfort in what we can find. We just settle for less then what we deserve.

Permalink Reply by Joseph P on April 7, 2012 at 10:17am

Personals sites help a lot with that.  You can actually filter people for things like theism, rather than meeting a dozen people in a club and maybe one of them being an atheist.

Permalink Reply by Kat B on April 3, 2012 at 12:31pm

I'm single because i am chubby and I have a high standards in men - practically on the financial side, not totally a gold digger but im just being practical.

At the age of 20, I'm much serious in handling long-time relationship but now I ended up alone and single. WOW. I guess, I need to change myself a little bit to have a better partner in life. Honestly, I like Older guys from 25-36, because they are more establish and easier to please than the guys who's with the same age or so.

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