Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Joseph P on August 18, 2010 at 8:21pm

It's ... umm.

It's when you ... err.

Uh, I know it when I feel it?

And yeah, it's definitely not what the teenage male means, when he says it to girls. It generally means, "I want sex," when guys that age say it. They learn to say it for the effect it has on girls, not for what it actually means.

Permalink Reply by Tabi on August 18, 2010 at 8:26pm

How do you know its not lust that you are feeling?
And what about what I like to call the "Honeymoon stage"?

Permalink Reply by Joseph P on August 18, 2010 at 8:36pm

Basic awareness. *shrug* Essentially, it's just a matter of knowing about that sort of thing and taking it into account.

Every time my one friend got engaged, after dating a girl for 2 months, I wanted to slap the hell out of him. He was such a dumbass ... well, I'm sure he's still a dumbass (present tense), but I don't have to deal with it anymore.

As for love/lust? You just have to pay attention to which head is the one that's doing the feeling. You learn to tell after a few decades. Teenagers ... not so much.

Permalink Reply by M3KH4N1X on October 8, 2010 at 3:41am

The line between love and lust is a fuzzy one at best.This is true for men AND women alike,regardless of age.Although him being just a teenager I'm sure it's a bigger factor than with most adults.

Permalink Reply by Black Magick Woman on August 18, 2010 at 8:56pm

Love is a neurological con job.

Permalink Reply by Ken Westervelt on August 18, 2010 at 9:00pm

I think the Greeks had the right idea when they have different words for different kinds of love. The loyalty type of love I know and practice very well. The love I hear about where one person I'm attracted is put above all others, not so much.

Permalink Reply by Michael Pianko on August 18, 2010 at 11:39pm

There are various different things that the English language or us others lump together and call love. For example when my mother keeps saying she loves me, she and I both know darn well without ever saying so that neither one wants to have sex with the other. My Aunt (she is 54 and has never been married and is probably a lifelong virgin) has said she loves me and it is the same way between me and her and between most people and their family. I have told various male friends, "you are a good person, and I mean that in a non-sexual way."

My brother and his wife probably epitomize love, not that I would want to have an arrangement that is too similar to them. I talk to my brother, and less frequently some cousins, just because they are related to me, and I know I wouldn't talk to them if they were not related to me. My bother and his girlfriend are married, and they are only 22. She is like a battery that drains quickly and needs to be constantly recharged with corney, silly, romance, and romantic things; my brother bought her flowers and took her to a fancy restaurant for their 6 month anniversary and she was quite happy about how "amazingly romantic" my brother is; they put on the pretense that they are so ultra mature, they planned their own wedding and honeymoon and refused any input from their parents, and they have mentioned how they love each other so much; he visits her relatives whenever she wants him to, and goes anywhere with her that she wants, she seems to make most or all decisions for him and he is amazingly happy with this arrangement and she is quite like my mother, and she wants children and when I talked to him he smirked and laughed about how he is going to end up spending all his money on his children. They only have one car and he drives her to work and then drives himself to his job and then picks her up from work and when I talked to him he admitted he doesn't like that arrangement but he won't tell her...there is no way to know how frequently, if ever, they have sex; she is obese (like my mother) and he is skinnier than average, and when I even hint at a remark about her weight he gets offended or mortified...

Permalink Reply by Joseph P on August 19, 2010 at 7:33pm

For example when my mother keeps saying she loves me, she and I both know darn well without ever saying so that neither one wants to have sex with the other. My Aunt (she is 54 and has never been married and is probably a lifelong virgin) has said she loves me and it is the same way between me and her and between most people and their family.

Hmm, I dunno, maybe you should be really worried. :-D

there is no way to know how frequently, if ever, they have sex; she is obese (like my mother) and he is skinnier than average, and when I even hint at a remark about her weight he gets offended or mortified...

You might be surprised. I know a similar couple. She outweighs him something like 2 to 1. Some guys like that sort of thing. The couple I know are annoyingly warm and fuzzy all the time, and I'm sure they're quite sexually active.

Permalink Reply by Jo Jerome on October 8, 2010 at 7:06pm

You might be surprised. I know a similar couple. She outweighs him something like 2 to 1. Some guys like that sort of thing.

A friend of mine is getting married in the next couple of months. He is moving from the UK to the US to marry her. And she probably outweighs him 2:1. He is very much on the thin side and damn hot.

I have another friend who has never been more than about 30 pounds overweight. But even when she lost those few pounds, she said she almost preferred being just that wee-bit into the realm of love-handles. Because that way she knew the guys asking her out weren't so shallow as to be put off by that.

Me, I do put some importance on healthy appearance, and healthy includes not-obese. Just my personal preference. I myself am no skinny minnie and don't demand that my love interest be one either. While obese to me brings into question health concerns, love handles and some junk in the trunk often simply means "I'm not going to give up all the foods I love just to drop those extra two jeans sizes."

Permalink Reply by Jezzy on October 8, 2010 at 6:13pm

Why exactly DO you hint about her weight?

Permalink Reply by Michael Pianko on October 8, 2010 at 8:38pm

I pointed out to my mother that my brother's girlfriend is very fat, and she was someone dismayed and warned me to not mention her weight to anyone else. I told my father and he he was not angry but brushed it off and tried to say why they like each other even though she is so fat. I started to tell my brother that she will break their bed and then he got too serious and mortified. I have told a few friends about how my brother is skinny but she is 2-3 times as fat as her and they were not mortified but I don't think they cared but they pretended they thought it was interesting for a few seconds.

She was mortified and very angry when I said if she has a son she should not get him circumcised.

Permalink Reply by Jezzy on October 9, 2010 at 12:14pm

Um, okay, but why is that important to you?

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