Metaphorically speaking, anyway. I just haven't had a lot of luck lately, I get shot down or friend zoned anytime I go on a date, and frankly, it's getting annoying. I mean, it's Mississippi, and I have to be here for the foreseeable future. So the number of people period times the number who aren't religious? Statistically I don't have a lot of options. I imagine if I were in a population center it really wouldn't matter, but it sort of does here.

For the most part, I've dated women younger than me, but it hasn't worked out yet. I'm told older women don't friend zone people so easily, but that's tricky in Mississippi. Seems like everyone my age and older around here has a kid and, I'm sorry, but I'm not looking for the one, just someone. I don't want to be substitute dad.

I'm told you're supposed to rely on friends to fix you up, but I don't have many friends. My closest friends won't. I dunno, everything's starting to really affect my self-efficacy. Which is the thing, I mean, I'm not a normal guy. I'm really weird, and that apparently doesn't work for most people.

I mean, what do you guys do? I'm really starting to get disheartened. I figured by the age of 25, I'd have accomplished something in this field, and I haven't. All I've got's a few first dates and a few friend zones, and frankly, the city council is starting to get on my ass about these zoning problems.

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Replies to This Discussion

Which is why they get the label.

Note: Girls do want the nice guy. I've asked out plenty of "nice guys" who turn out to be not so "nice" after all.

Yeah, but a lot of girls want the nice guy who looks like Robert Pattinson.  Also, they have the habit of going for the aggressive, possessive type, that the movies tell them will become a sweet, sensitive guy after the drama that throws the two together.

Hollywood has created a fucked-up image of what you look for in a guy to form a loving, stable relationship.  It's been particularly bad since the 80's.  And don't even get me started on Twilight, again.

Annnnd now we know why I loathe 99% of chick flicks.

 

Also, if you're dating girls that use Twilight as a blueprint for future relationships, you're doing it wrong; those girls usually have never dated any guy, and don't understand how a real relationship works yet. Unless you want to be the one she cuts her teeth on, then I suggest you back away and let another dude deal with that.

 

Re: Chick flicks

 

I know you right.  I've basically given up on girls much younger than me.  They still have idealism.  I don't date idealists.

Yeah, I never identify with the chicks in chick flicks. Now, if they crossed Fanboys with a chick flick... I might go for that. o.o

 

...maybe. c.c

 

I did like that in one of the Shrek movies, the princesses rescued themselves. :D Oh wait, that wasn't a chick flick. 

My movie pitch: Gamer girl, making a pilgrimage to a nerd mecca before it closes down, with her lady friends who are also gamer girls--there will be about 5-6 total ladies, all of them with various nerd things/references, as well as a sprinkling of smartphones and tech talk/laptops while they're on the road.

 

During it, the car breaks down or one of them gets arrested for kicking a douchebag in the face, etc. Fun hijinks like that.

 

Add in some atheism and I'd totes watch that. It might actually be my favorite comedy.

Done and doner.  But if you need someone to make you feel good about yourself when you're in or around the area, give me a hollar.

Really, what I'm doing right now is investing in my hobbies. I'll be taking up spinning soon, hopefully.

 

But really, I've dated 3 guys--I've talked to countless more, asked out countless more--but 3 have said yes, and all 3 were horrible and not worth putting up with. There are times when it's honestly best to just make do with yourself and throw yourself into work and hobbies, rather than spending all your energy on something that may or may not work out. I'm in the same boat as you--I'm currently back at My Parent's home in the middle of Rural Alabama,  any guy around here is going to be obsessed with football, religion, and girls that aren't me--it's just not worth looking here.

I had a thought... there are a LOT of secular groups in Alabama.  I know of a few near north alabama.  You should join them.
Sadly, I am in southwest alabama and cannot drive very far for group meetings.
Try one of the closer Mississippi groups then.
If you need to go to Mississippi to find sanity, that's saying something about where you live.

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