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Relationships with Religious people

All of my past relationships were with religious people, and I know in the back of my mind it always bothered me.

Now Im wondering if there will ever be a chance that if I give up and date another religious guy, would there be a way that I could make it work?

"Love" can only be a good excuse for so long.

I was wondering if anyone else is wondering the same thing?

Do you care if your person of intrest is religious or Atheist?

and why?

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Will Faithless Sophia on March 15, 2011 at 1:58pm

For there to be any chance of a long-term relationship, my significant-other would have to fall under the Atheist label, yes.

Permalink Reply by Navitta Nelson on March 15, 2011 at 2:15pm

How is that working for you Will Faithless, do u meet many atheist partners?

Permalink Reply by Joseph P on March 16, 2011 at 8:07am

It's worked pretty well for me, for the past several years.

Permalink Reply by Samuel Richardson on March 15, 2011 at 10:33pm

For me I would not have a problem with it but at the same I would never date someone who is very religious. It just simply amounts to how important your views and their views are to each other. I would certainly not have a problem dating someone who believes in god but if it actual related to a specific religion maybe cause they would more than likely have issue with my viewpoint, or at least that's how it has been in my experience. The people I typically meet it is not usually an issue because most of them are non-religious, agnostic or atheist.

Permalink Reply by Tim on March 16, 2011 at 7:16pm

Ha! Just ended yet another relationship with a theist not but a few hours ago. I'm so fucked in the south . . .

Things got too "serious" for her and she couldn't see herself moving on with someone she couldn't marry. I had brought up the topic earlier on (since I believe in being fair up front), asked her if she had a problem with my Atheism, and she said she didn't. We continued to see each other for a couple weeks, then she gets ideas in her head, and now yet another attempted compromise for companionship lay in ruin.

I definitely care if the girl I'm interested in is religious or Atheist. Unfortunately, I have NEVER met an Atheist to even try to start something with!

Also, I don't think I could ever really "love" someone who wasn't Atheist or agnostic about gods. I haven't met one of those "softer-believing" theists.

Permalink Reply by Joseph P on March 16, 2011 at 7:58pm

Move to the Atlanta area, man. Plenty of atheists there. Savannah is horrible. Or try to get stationed at Fort Bragg or something. That puts you vaguely within driving distance of the Triangle. Lots of atheists here.

What are these ideas that she got into her head? Was she one of the type who thinks she can bring you back to Jesus? That you just haven't had the right experience in a church and just need to find the right one (hers)?

I've never had a girl break up with me over religion, though. I've always been the one to cut the cord, after they glommed on and attempted to use their emotional leverage to bring me back to Christ. When they start that nonsense, it's time to go.

Permalink Reply by Tim on March 16, 2011 at 8:15pm

Apparently things were getting too serious too quick, and although we were having a great time up until that point (had a lot in common, both athletic, libertarian-ish, convulsed laughing simultaneously at the random comedians on Comedy Central) she decided she couldn't be with a guy she couldn't see herself marrying.

As far as the religion thing this time I didn't let it go at the outset and brought it up in conversation on our 2nd date (think I said "I'm a big fan of evidence" when we were talking about something else, and she said "Well there are some things you have to believe without evidence . . .) and we had a talk. I told her that unless someone comes up with a god claim that can be evidenced, I will die an Atheist. She told me she didn't want me to die an Atheist but she wouldn't force her beliefs on me. I asked her how devout she was, she said "not very", and we went on from there.

I don't think it would ever have occured to her to try to convert me. I'm a reasonably imposing figure in person, and while my preferred manner is that of the jovial goofball, about this topic I slipped back into serious mode (which everyone that knows me tells me is "scary" mode - I just stop joking, look you in the eye, and tell you exactly what I am thinking in a clear, concise manner) because I wanted there to be no mistake about what I was saying, as this is a topic that is rather dear to me.

During the breakup conversation, I told her she is not looking nearly hard enough, that there are plenty of god-fearing guys all around her (that can honestly be said with NO hyperbole down here!), but she had the nerve to tell me that they weren't as "nice a guy" as I am. I bit my toungue hard to continue to be polite and didn't tell her that there is probably a reason why the first Atheist guy she had met was the first one she had serious thoughts about settling down with . . .

Permalink Reply by Joseph P on March 17, 2011 at 6:35pm

I've gotten something similar to that a few times, myself. Effectively, I'm nicer than any of the Christian guys she had dated, so if I would just become Christian, I'd be perfect.

I know what you mean about all of the god-fearing types, yeah. The Triangle area is very liberal, but if you go more than 5 or 10 miles outside of a major city, NC is conservative, fundie central.

Permalink Reply by Tabi on March 23, 2011 at 8:44am

My ex was a Catholic, and we lasted 5 years and we have 2 kids togeather. I told him up front that my kids will all be raised atheist, and he said he was ok with it. But now, he has a new girlfriend, and they have gotten serious, and she is a Jahovas Witness, and she is pushing for him to bring my kids to church with them. To top things off, she was one of my friends!!

I will have to give her a warning that she will mess up the "still good" relationship we all have going, if one of my kids are forced to attend.

Permalink Reply by Joseph P on March 23, 2011 at 11:43am

Yeah, that highlights my concept of the layers of delusion that await a relationship with theists.

First off, they may just be flat out lying about it, and they go into the relationship thinking they can bring you back to God. Then, they could be lying to themselves, and once the relationship gets serious, they start thinking about it more and realize that they're not okay with it. Finally, they could be okay with it, but once they have children, and the fear of Hell starts taking hold, suddenly they're not okay with it.

Personally, I don't see how any theist who believes in a literal Hell that non-believers go to could be okay with having a real relationship with an atheist, except through self-deception. It's different with the less rabid Catholics and faiths like that. They believe in salvation through works, so I can see how a liberal Catholic could adopt a belief that atheists can get into heaven, too.

Permalink Reply by Benny on April 2, 2011 at 11:02am

I have never been involved with an Atheist, and I really don't care what someone I love believes as long as she respects my view without trying to "fix" me. But I do believe that I would really enjoy being involved with someone who isn't delusional for a change. So I am trying my best to meet atheist or agnostic women.