Relationships with Religious people

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Joseph P on October 31, 2010 at 11:31am

Question of the day: When did "Stupid" become a religion?

The same year as NASCAR.

Permalink Reply by Michael on October 31, 2010 at 2:08pm

Careful, now about lumping things together; I know people who who are neither stupid nor religious, yet are NASCAR fans. It's just another sport, and certainly no more stupid than watching overpaid, overgrown children chasing around after a football or basketball.

Permalink Reply by Joseph P on October 31, 2010 at 2:48pm

Pro Wrestling would have been a better flippant correlation, then?

Permalink Reply by Michael on October 31, 2010 at 10:08pm

Perhaps - at least pro wrestling FANS. Some of the wrestlers themselves seem to be pretty sharp people.

Permalink Reply by TNT666 on November 1, 2010 at 1:09am

As sharp as any other pro-athlete I guess! LOL

Permalink Reply by Michael on November 1, 2010 at 3:33am

They seem to consider themselves more as entertainers than as athletes. Sort of like professional stunt men.

Permalink Reply by Scott Macauley on March 12, 2011 at 3:28pm

There's a guy in my local atheist group (Omaha Atheists!  Free plug for my peeps!) who's married to a Christian, and has been for a long time.  I believe he's in his 60s, though that's just a guess.  I don't think they're real pushy towards each other about it.  He even goes to church with her every Sunday, because he likes the social interaction and also presumably out of love for his wife.  So, it CAN work.  As one person said on here, you have to be willing to have your relationship without bringing those beliefs into it, and yes, for some people (or maybe most people), that can be hard.  I've recently met a Catholic girl who I think is pretty amazing, and I try to keep religious beliefs out of it.  It hasn't really been an issue thus far.  She has said once that she would like her children, when she has them, to go to Catholic school.  However, we're a long way from having that discussion, and should we ever get to the point where we have to have it, I think I'll have had enough time to think that I'll be able to make my case against it pretty strongly.  Despite her beliefs, she comes from a very accepting (if conservative) family.  Her sister is dating a Democrat (she called him lazy) and she was bummed to find out I have some very liberal beliefs, but it's not a dealbreaker for either of them.  Her sister is also a recently-converted atheist, within the last couple years, I think, and her family is accepting if not happy with the choice.  So, contrary to what I may have said earlier in the thread, I think there are cases where it can turn out all right.  But who knows?  In a few months I could be back to looking for strictly atheist women.  I hope that's not the case, but such is life.

Permalink Reply by TNT666 on March 12, 2011 at 6:06pm

Well for a 60 y/o guy, I'd be willing to concede that you take whatever you can get... But as for the rest, I can't understand that perspective at all. My scepticism, my rejection of all religious fabulations is central to my existence, and has always been. Children and parental values are central issues, if you wait a couple of years until you're emotionally invested with a person, and only then make important decisions "as you get to that bridge", well, I flat out disagree. It's the comparison between planning and knee jerk reactions. "She is from a very accepting family" well, for me, people's "accepting of anything" is a crucial problem in our society, its exactly these types of conservatives who accepted deregulation of our economies and created the financial meltdown. You'd like to be with an "accepting" woman... That's a line straight out of one of those old fogies who hire mail bride agencies to buy 3rd world brides... "find me someone who's accepting", apparently those Filipino agencies are particularly efficient at finding "accepting" brides.

I'm real sorry if this seems harsh... sweeping values under the carpet to me is the mother of all lies. I would hope that atheist singles look for character and outspokenness and realism and integrity from a prospective life partner.

Anyway, it's your life, these are just my thoughts.

Permalink Reply by Scott Macauley on March 13, 2011 at 3:27pm

I'm pretty sure the guy and his wife have been together for a number of years.  On acceptance, I think getting them to accept us is probably the first step, though I certainly do enjoy getting believers riled up on a regular basis.  I don't believe in pandering to them, not at all.  It's not an "accepting" woman that I want to be with.  When it comes to relationships, I think where you stand on religion is just another facet of compatibility.  If you don't treat it as important, then it's not.  Things only have the importance that you give them.  And if it's not important to her that she date a Christian, nor to me that I date an atheist, then we can make the relationship work so long as we're compatible in other ways.  I could just as easily find (and have come across in the past, in fact) atheist women that I'm not compatible with or not attracted to.  Given that, statistically, there don't seem to be enough matches for me amongst the atheist community in my area, I've decide not to make that a factor in choosing who I date.  Her having an accepting family just makes it easier for me to make nice-nice with them.  Would I prefer that she were an atheist?  Sure.  But if the relationship survives, it's a moot point.

Permalink Reply by TNT666 on March 13, 2011 at 4:12pm

What about: She has said once that she would like her children, when she has them, to go to Catholic school. ?

Do you not think that should be settled before you get there rather than when you get there? Unless you yourself don't see her as that woman, then it's an entirely different story.

But if you do have kids, in the event that she 'accepted' your view and they were not sent to a religious school, she would be going against her values to please you. That is not something I'd wish my mate to do.

Permalink Reply by Scott Macauley on March 13, 2011 at 4:20pm

First of all, I wouldn't be having the discussion so late that the kids would already be of school-going age.  Seeing as how she and I have just started dating, I think I've got some time before I have to have that discussion.  Second, there's a reasonable assertion to be made that they'll get as much or more benefits out of a non-Catholic private school.  She's not an unreasonable person, and I think she'd come around to the idea.  Time will tell.

Permalink Reply by Scott Macauley on March 13, 2011 at 4:42pm

Waited too long to edit...  as much = as many

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