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Ok, so due to my inability to lower my standards, I have unwittingly dedicated myself to becoming an atheist nun....(kidding, but that's the way it's turning out). So I live in the buckle of the bible belt, I'm educated, attractive for my age, own my own business, and mindless sex is just so easy (and boring) for us....isn't it ladies??? (You guys know that's true) But finding someone you actually WANT to be with, now that is where things get good and complicated!! I've decided in my wisdom, that I will not settle. Since MOST atheists live far far away from me, it never really occurred to me to try and find a man that could keep up with me intellectually on this site, but what did occur to me, was that I would meet awesome people who are intelligent, well spoken, educated, (whether self taught or schooled), witty and socially aware. I have hit the mother load there!!! This site helps me hold on to the fact that there are growing numbers of people just like me out there and I am not alone!! Rational, kind, and well spoken non-believers! I LOVE yall people....!!! (no but really, I do! That's a facetious southern accent btw and yeah, I am a southern girl and lovin there are so many talking atheists on this site!!!)
Now that being can be a lonely life. But I just can't, and won't settle. You feel me?

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Replies to This Discussion

Hello Sister Christine....hehehe....I know this is a club we would not like to be in...but snaps...don't lower your standards!!! You will get bored VERY QUICKLY!!!

ok, so i came to this discussion late (and i haven't read all the posts), but i betchya a good deal of us are alone and lonely, and unwillingly celibate. so, we've killed the myth of god, and there's one more that i think needs killing... that's monogamy. i don't think as a species we are (most species aren't), and as its turns out, its a by product of religion! now, i know most people are gonna jump on me, especially the ladies, but two things: 1) i don't mean that sex has to be emotionless, and you should just go out and screw everything and everybody, and 2) below is some info i found (on the web, if anybody knows more about it please verify/refute) on the history of monogamy.


ok, #2 first: its a link to a web page by dr. israel lim, which talks about patriarchy and monogamy, and while i don't believe in the patriarchy or religious content, i wonder if the history and reasoning are correct. they seem to be. here's the link: HISTORY OF MONOGAMY. again, please verify or refute if he's a crackpot.


and for #1: i don't think you need to wait for a monogamous committed relationship for sexual fulfillment. i think you can find somebody who is attractive to you and suited to you, and you shouldn't wait for commitment to give eachother pleasure. again, i'm not saying go jump into bed with anybody and everybody, but even somebody you've just met can have a connection. i think what's more important is mutual respect, and the desire to make eachother feel good. why should we be alone and unloved? unless you're really going for some jerk, instead of somebody who is thoughtful, loving and spiritual (not in a religious way, but human connection way), i think you'd have a good time, and who knows, it might grow into something more significant.


at this point in our lives, aren't we done with playing games?


Hey Joe, sorry for the late response, but here it is.  I'm looking for just one worth having sex with.  Sex for exercise is so easy, but at my age, that just does NOT cut it.  I have to have a well rounded attraction in order to want to even feel like being intimate with a guy.  That is where my problem just isn't happening.....who knows, I may get desperate break down, and just get the make sure I remember how......????

And the hormonal accompaniment to the orgasms is nice.  Masturbation may be a nice stress-release and take care of the physical need, but there's an additional buzzy head-rush that comes from the cuddling and conversation, after the orgasms.

I guess, like you said, sex just for exercise is little better than masturbation, but if you've got any kind of connection with someone and enjoy being with him/her, talking about random things while in the afterglow, that makes it worth the effort.  I don't hold out for The One (and anyway, Keannu Reeves doesn't do anything for me, sexually) but definitely someone whom I like and enjoy being with for the sake of being with her.

Hey can men join? I would be one of those atheist celibate priests, pretty much for the same reasons you describe. (Although I had never until now considered being any kind of priest.)
Welcome brother Clifford!!! Yes, unfortunately men have just as hard of a time as we chicks!!
Lots of non-atheists say I'm preachy ("Kettle? It's the pot. You're black!"), so I guess I'd qualify for atheist priesthood, too.
Welcome brother Scott!! I hate it for you too!!! You have trouble finding a date that is actually interesting to you too???
"Interesting" is a relative term. On the rare occasions that I've been able to find a date, it's been interesting. I just have trouble finding atheist women in my area who are single and have enough in common with me to make something work. I'm a member of the local atheist group, and everything. Though they say that when you stop looking is when you find the right one, so I've been considering that tactic lately.
I dunno brother Scott, I quit looking, quite some time ago....but, you have at least groups you get to go to, so maybe this bodes better for you! I know exactly what you mean about making things work. I find that a lot of times, guys will just tell me what I want to hear, so we can go out. Then, I start to hear things that piss me off. Like little slips, that are the red flags of things to come.
Some guys will tell you anything, just so they have a shot at "scoring". I'm certainly not saying all guys here...ok???? It's just that the last few dates I have had, I feel like they would have agreed to be pagan or wiccan, just to get a little.
I haven't been on a real date, in ages. Its a shame too, because it would be cool to have someone to go to the movies with, besides my girl friends.
I am having the same hopes you are.....stop looking and it will happen. Until then, I guess I'm a nun....hehehe
Whats a real date?

So, rejoining the convo months later...  I'm sure TN has atheist groups, even in the most Bible-y parts.  I recommend doing various Google searches and checking out  You may just be surprised!

Also, yeah, I do know this one guy who's Catholic, but only really pours on the Catholicism when he thinks it will get the girl he's after into his bed quicker.


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