I feel you!! I have been living in Japan for a while now. Most people here are atheist. I have not really connected with anyone I have dated here so far, and mostly because of the language barrier. I am planning on possibly moving back to Florida soon. This is a problem for me, because doing so pretty much ensures I will be single for a long time. There are very few atheist there, and even fewer out of the closet atheist. I too cannot settle for mindless sex, and I don't want to get into the buisness of having religious debates to try and change everyone I date. I guess I would have two options. 1. Mindless sex or 2. Mail order bride from Sweden. Its a sad world in the bible belt!
Awh! Why'd you have to move! ;D Just kidding. But yeah, I think most of the gaijin guys here that I know end up with J-GFs who either know enough English and/or are looking to improve their English, or the guys speak well enough to get by. Us girls, on the other hand... well, it is a bit of a dry spell for many of us who come here. I've also seen how I've become shier and shier the longer I stay here. Definitely not good if I want to meet someone!
Well you should never lower your standards. Anyhoo, is it tough living in the buckle of the Bible Belt? Do you have to keep a low profile?
Yes it is very challenging to live in the buy bull belt.... I do keep a low profile. What I DO find encouraging is that I'm seeing MORE and MORE Darwin Fish on cars around here. Like almost daily. I used to see those more like only once a year. Still, I live here and freekin hate that I cannot speak my mind without there being very real social consequences to my doing that. I wish I were kidding when I say that my ex husband tried to use my postings on Atheist Nexus, and the fact I am atheist, to prove I was an unfit parent and gain custody of our son. Yeah.....that one blew up in his face, but the fact it can even be considered...is DISTURBING!!!! I don't do well in an environment that promotes closed mindedness. I've decided that once my son goes off to college, I am HAPPILY getting the hell outta dodge, and finding a place that has people I can relate to. Any suggestion???
Hmmmmmmm, I'm thinking climate. Heading much north of you might be problematic. Parts of Atlanta are somewhat secular, but then you've got the rest of the state of Georgia pulling you down.
North Carolina has two solid pockets. The Charlotte area apparently has a decent group, and the Triangle has multiple, very active groups. I don't recommend the Triad, though. We get several people who drive in from the Triad multiple times a month, since they can't get local groups going solid. The cities of the Triad are much more widely spaced, so it's hard to get central meeting places that will pull a decent number of people from the whole area.
No idea about Richmond, VA or the DC area. I know the Chicago area has an active group, too, but I don't think you'd enjoy the winters.
The west coast is much more secular, as long as you stay close to the coast, but they have some massive, new-age woo woo issues going on. The anti-vaxers out there are turning it into a third-world-like area. Several countries have vaccination warnings, if you're going to visit the west coast of the US, just like Africa or something.
I could be way off, maybe my in your face demeanor is effective. I have been very up front and adamant about my lack of belief since I was 5 or 6 and I have never been in a situation that made me uncomfortable when dealing with stupid religious people. Point is you can stay where you are if you can learn the effective communication skills to control your interactions with idiots. There are stupid people everywhere. Just head for the high ground Kelly M. Learn how to be in control of yourself and no one can hurt you.
Thank goodness for toys*****
Kelly, that's fantastic! Let your success be an inspiration to us all, the spurned and the lonely. Perhaps a dissolution of the monastery is possible after all, even without royal edict!
As to where to move, my view is that the difference between big-city and small-town is larger than between north and south. I would opine that rural western Massachusetts is more bible-belt than urban Atlanta. What makes the North, and especially the North-East comparatively secular is the high population density and the close proximity of major cities, where the suburbs of the one don't end until the suburbs of the next begin. So maybe you just need to find the closest major metropolitan area.
Thanks so much for your positive words! The hardest part about being atheist is the temptation to settle out of loneliness.