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Ok, so I think I'm an atheist nun....lol

Ok, so due to my inability to lower my standards, I have unwittingly dedicated myself to becoming an atheist nun....(kidding, but that's the way it's turning out). So I live in the buckle of the bible belt, I'm educated, attractive for my age, own my own business, and mindless sex is just so easy (and boring) for us....isn't it ladies??? (You guys know that's true) But finding someone you actually WANT to be with, now that is where things get good and complicated!! I've decided in my wisdom, that I will not settle. Since MOST atheists live far far away from me, it never really occurred to me to try and find a man that could keep up with me intellectually on this site, but what did occur to me, was that I would meet awesome people who are intelligent, well spoken, educated, (whether self taught or schooled), witty and socially aware. I have hit the mother load there!!! This site helps me hold on to the fact that there are growing numbers of people just like me out there and I am not alone!! Rational, kind, and well spoken non-believers! I LOVE yall people....!!! (no but really, I do! That's a facetious southern accent btw and yeah, I am a southern girl and lovin there are so many talking atheists on this site!!!)
Now that being said....it can be a lonely life. But I just can't, and won't settle. You feel me?

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Craigart14 on September 20, 2011 at 9:35am

Kelly, there are some men who like an emotional attachment along with the sexual relationship. Me, for example . . . ;-)

Permalink Reply by Kelly M on September 24, 2011 at 10:31am

Oh I know there are guys like you out there Craig. They just don't tend to live near me. The ones that like the emotional attachment thing here, tend to be holy rollers. Heck even the guys trollin for sex claim they are xtian.

Permalink Reply by Craigart14 on October 4, 2011 at 2:11pm

I could relocate . . . .

Permalink Reply by Philip Jackson Armstrong on August 21, 2011 at 3:13pm

I had casual sex with a mere something around 40 women by the time I got married. There is something a lot better.

Permalink Reply by TNT666 on August 21, 2011 at 5:07pm

It's what you make of it and how you choose to treat it is what I'm saying.

Permalink Reply by Nerdlass on August 22, 2011 at 12:32am

Well, I am living in atheist wonderland, more or less. There's shinto and buddhism, and even a little bit of western faiths scattered about, but everyone's pretty secure in secular life, here. Ironic that I've had not one date since my arrival to the land of the rising sun. Of course, it doesn't help that I'm shy with this sort of thing, nor that the odds are stacked against me here. Ah well. So... should I just be complacent in my singlehood? My dating aspects while living here are dim.

How many people would be up to moving for the sake of settling down with another freethinker, I wonder? I'd move back home for it, but there's little guarantee of even an LDR with me. That's a hard road, one that only works out if in the longterm, one of the parties moves.

Has anyone here tried LDRs with other free-thinkers? Advice?

Heck, I still consider my culture to be pagan. I'd date one, so long as they realized I see them as having happy fun adult pretend sessions.

Permalink Reply by Kelly M on August 22, 2011 at 3:35pm

Why do you think it is that you are having issues meeting someone you would be interested in dating??? The only reason I ask, is so we might be able to find some way to help you get around that. Listen to me....who the hell do I think I am??? I tell you what though, I have recently uploaded a profile on OkCupid.com. It allows you to filter out searches in cool ways, ESPECIALLY religious affiliation. Have you tried any of that? You know, just putting yourself out there? I have actually had great results. I have met a ton of guys that are atheist or agnostic. Just no one I have had that special spark with thus far. But still some really cool and fun dates, with great conversation, and a lot more friends. Another plus that I have found for us chicks, is that the number of atheist men vs women is at least 2 to 1, and guys are super stoked when they find an atheist chick. Maybe something like this would help???? You never know. Your dream man could be looking for you at this very moment!!!

Permalink Reply by Katie Ranting Redhead Smith on August 22, 2011 at 4:10pm

Again, for women in the atheist community, the odds are good.......

...but the goods are odd!!

Permalink Reply by Nerdlass on September 4, 2011 at 8:08pm

Most of the dating sites I've looked into have about 12 profiles of men in Japan, and they tend to be in another prefecture, or don't speak English. If they do speak English, good chances they are military and not only in another prefecture, but limited to their time off. I do have to admit, I get queasy at the dating sites, to begin with. They just haven't done well for me in the past, and half the time, I feel like I'm talking to people I have nothing in common with. I'm extraordinarily geeky and so I've tried geek dating sites, but there's maybe one or two in Asia on those sites, since they're western sort. I suppose I could try and join a J-site or Asian-based site, but my Japanese is so-so. I tried for the JLPT 3(a language proficiency test), which is prettymuch intermediate level, and bombed it. I am still working on learning the language, and I do use it with my friends, here... just my friends tend to be my parents' age, if they aren't teachers like me.

So, maybe there's a guy back home in the states who would be stoked... Less likely to be one here that is nearby. I could be wrong! But not only am I older than most of the men who come to Japan from overseas (they tend to be fresh out of college; I'm in my mid-30s), but I'm also a big girl and I know that is an issue for a lot of guys. (So be it. I'm not happy with it, for health reasons, but it's not something that changes overnight, either. I'm realistic.) So, when I see the cute, bubbly, 20-something girls who come here despair over not having a boyfriend, who am I to expect to find someone? Really?

I pretty much have resolved myself that while in Japan, I'm going to remain single. It's been two years, not one date at all. The only interest that has come my way has been the creepy sort from men older than my father would be, were he still alive.

But yeah, I'd love to be proven wrong and have even a date or two, while here. Doesn't seem likely, though. :|

Permalink Reply by Joseph P on August 22, 2011 at 8:48pm

Depends upon the foundation of the long distance relationship. If you're talking about relationships that initiate online, it's iffy. It's certainly not worth putting off other plans for a relationship with someone you've never met.

Also, moving internationally to get together with someone you've never seen in person ... I dunno. I guess you could go on vacation a few times and be together for a while, if you have the money. That would still be putting unnatural strain on the both of you to get as much quality time in during the short time you're together.

Heck, most people need to be with someone for 3 or 4 months before they'll stop putting on an act and be themselves.

I have the same feeling about Pagans. It would be more possible to have a real relationship than with a Judeo-Christian type, but I'd still rather have a rational atheist.

Permalink Reply by Nerdlass on September 4, 2011 at 8:12pm

There are many pagans who aren't so much religious as they are dramatic. :D For a lot of them, especially esoteric (which is what I considered myself to be, for the longest time), the rituals and spells were exercises of the mind to deal with issues from daily life... a bit like prayer... no real, physical proof of anything, but it can help you to deal with stuff... But some can be very religious, too.

I dunno, seems like it just depends on the person as to how fundy they can be. There's certainly a few in each batch, no matter the belief system.

Permalink Reply by Philip Jackson Armstrong on August 22, 2011 at 5:59pm

Wait a minute... that comment about, " the goods are odd". I resemble that remark. That's directed at me isn't it.