The World's Largest Coalition of Nontheists and Nontheist Communities!

My main problem: finding atheist men who I can connect with!

Hi everyone,

Not to sound too conceited or anything, but my problem isn't necessarily finding dates/men.. but actually finding men who are not scared of my intelligence! Just being an atheist means you are dramatically more intelligent than the average joe. I would argue that this is mostly because of all the careful study and research a lot of us do to finally come to that conclusion. Also, being an atheist means that you have the intellectual capacity to realize that the universe wasn't made for just you. Wow! That seems to take an extreme amount of reason...

I am 23, but I still feel the overwhelming pressures of sexism ... to let the man wear the pants. I was in a great relationship from 19-21 where it was completely egalitarian and respecting. However, the ones since then, and it seems those types that I am attracted to, are very intimidated by me being an intelligent/educated woman. It's the whole, "barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen" mentality it seems. I don't see gender roles as evil, but I do see it as evil when men basically want you to be their slave..... :(. ugh.

Anyways, I've finally come to the conclusion that I need to meet people who are more on my wave length. Fellow humanists/atheists it would appear. My last relationship was a quick one, with an ex-jehovah's witness! Oh man, the mental scarring that man faced was just downright sad. Anyway, that didn't work out mainly because of how nutty that JW cult is! Since that, I have realized I must not settle for a "glazed eyed" drug addict. And by the word drug I mean religion. However, a lot of the atheist men I do meet bore me to death or are extremely socially awkward. Why is that?

Anyway, does anyone face the same problem as me?

0 members like this

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Jerome on July 18, 2010 at 9:41am

Minority of minorities I hear you on that one BLK-Sagan. I don't want kids and I don't want to date a woman with kids so I'm having a hell of a time here in good ol' Indiana. Being a black atheist who doesn't want to have kids pretty much makes me the worse person to date for most women in my age group!

Permalink Reply by Michael on June 12, 2011 at 1:35am

Just to address your question... if you want to find "an atheist man that you can connect with", it would help greatly if you are willing to be flexible on other things - such as location.

Being willing to consider a relationship that may start out as long distance, tends to increase your chances by several thousand percent. Think about it.

Permalink Reply by Michael on June 12, 2011 at 2:49am

I have found (at least in the NW area of the US) that there are really quite a lot of people who may call themselves Christians, but who are, in fact, nearly as non-religious as most atheists. Quite honestly, as long as she behaves rationally, respects my views and has no problem with my lack of belief, I have no problem with her calling herself anything she likes. Names are less important than actions.

So one mustn't judge a book by it's cover. Give people the benefit of the doubt.

Permalink Reply by Joseph P on June 13, 2011 at 7:25am

We would end up with 500 or 600 groups, most containing one or two people, if we did that, Shawn. That would kind of defeat the purpose of a singles group.

Permalink Reply by Ivy Forbes on October 1, 2010 at 1:22am

ha you could be the male version of me.

Which means if I am searching for someone with similar interest they're most likely going to be Caucasian.

Sad but true. I have been in a club/ at events of hundredsof people and Im the only minority face there!! Hmm me wonders if its because of the whole goth/alternative thing. :D OH WELL

Permalink Reply by ObscureAtheist on July 18, 2010 at 12:49am

please stop arguing about your situation is worse than others because mine is the worst!(an atheist in a small city in Iran who can't even put his pic in his profile for his safety. no one can compete with me! ) ;)
so what should we do ? i think we must extend the geographical boundaries of or dating , perhaps we can make it international i am the first volunteer ;) .

Permalink Reply by BLK-Sagan on July 18, 2010 at 1:21am

LOL! Okay you win, this imaginary competition. Are you serious, if so then your condition is a post in itself. My situation is bad because I live in San Diego where, there should be no reason to be single, unless brains actually matter to you then you're kinda screwed.

Permalink Reply by Nathan Hevenstone on July 18, 2010 at 1:37am

Yeah... you win. Hands down...

You need to move, dude... seriously...

Permalink Reply by Robert M. Reed on July 18, 2010 at 9:23am

Id like to talk to you OA. I'm curious as to the situation over there and would like a pesonal inside take on the matter. I only trust what I see on the news so much you know?

Permalink Reply by ObscureAtheist on July 18, 2010 at 10:32am

it s my pleasure. ask me everything you wanna know

Permalink Reply by Robert M. Reed on July 18, 2010 at 10:47am

well, I guess to start... is it realy as bad as it seems to be over there? what is the mindset of most Iranians? Is it fear or anger or pride? I don't know... it seems like an extaordanary situation. i know that everyone is different, but from an 'american' perspective it just seems horrible.

Permalink Reply by ObscureAtheist on July 18, 2010 at 12:57pm

However i didn't understand you asked exactly about which aspects.
First of all always and every where the situation can worse!! but always people can adapt themselves to such a degree too!
fear anger or pride about what? about being Iranian? if yes i think for most people it s a mixture of them and somethings more.
the main problem here is a religious fundamentalist regime .however most people are religious but most of Iranian hate it.in religious people some of them are secular some of them think that real islam is a better thing and ...
if you ask more specific i can answer better. however i think here is not a good place for this topic (here is about dating and ...)maybe we can talk somewhere else if you want.